3.W.  Smith- 


THE 


PARENTS'    MANUAL; 


OR, 


HOME  AND  SCHOOL  TRAINING. 


BY 

HIRAM   OPvCUTT,  A.M., 

Author  of  "  The.  Class-Book  of  Prose  and  Poetry  "  "  Gleanings  from  School- 
Life  Experiences'1  and  "The  Teacher's  Manual.'1'' 


"  To  teach,  whether  by  word  or  action,  is  the  greatest  function  on 
earth."  CHANNING. 


BOSTON: 

PUBLISHED  BY  THOMPSON",  BROWN,   &  CO., 

25  AND  29,  CORNHILL. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1874,  by 

HIRAM    ORCUTT, 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress  at  Washington. 


EDUCATION 


BOSTON : 
RAND    AVERY,  &  Co.,  STEREOTYPEKS  AND  PRINTERS. 


TO 

THE  FAITHFUL  MOTHERS  IN  AMERICA, 

WHO   REGARD   THEIR   HOMES   AS   THEIR   KINGDOM,   AND   THE 

POLISHING  OP  THEIR  "JEWELS"  AS  THEIR 

PRIDE  AND  CHIEF  GLORY, 

THIS      VOLUME, 

WHICH  HAS  BEEN  WRITTEN  FOR  THE  AID  AND  ENCOURAGE 
MENT  OF  ALL  WHO  SUSTAIN  PARENTAL  RELATIONS, 

IS   RESPECTFULLY   DEDICATED   BY 

THE  AUTHOR. 


54-1276 


PREFACE. 


THE  family  and  the  school  are  inseparably  con 
nected  in  the  great  work  of  education  ;  yet  much 
the  larger  share  of  the  labor  and  responsibility 
necessarily  belongs  to  parents.  Teachers  are 
only  their  assistants  and  employes,  having  dele 
gated  authority  and.  power ;  and  their  success 
and  usefulness  depend  largely  upon  the  wisdom 
and  co-operation  of  their  emploj^ers.  Hence  the 
discipline  of  the  family  embraces  the  discipline 
of  the  school,  and  should  be  based  upon  the  same 
principles,  and  studied  with  equal  care  and  earnest 
ness  both  by  parents  and  teachers. 

With  these  views,  and  with  the  hope  of  aiding 
in  the  noble  work  of  training  our  American  chil 
dren  for  greater  usefulness  and  a  higher  destiny 
than  we  have  yet  realized,  the  author  has  pre 
pared  this  volume.  "THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL" 
i*  5 


6  PREFACE. 

is  designed  as  the  counterpart  of  "  THE  TEACH 
ER'S  MANUAL,"  published  two  years  ago.  That 
volume  treated  upon  the  teacher's  duties  to  his 
pupils  in  all  the  relations  he  sustains  to  the 
school :  this  treats  upon  parents'  duties  in  all 
the  relations  they  sustain  to  their  children,  in 
the  family,  in  the  school,  and  in  society,  dur 
ing  the  period  of  their  minority. 

The  author  is  not  aware  that  any  one  book 
covering  the  same  ground  has  ever  been  written 
upon  this  subject.  His  aim  has  been  to  make  the 
work  concise  and  practical.  How  far  and  how 
well  he  has  accomplished  his  object,  he  must 
leave  to  the  reader  to  judge. 

TILDEN  SEMINARY, 
WEST  LEBANON,  N.H.,  April,  1874. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I.                               PAG*. 
INTRODUCTION 9 

CHAPTER  H. 
PARENTAL  RESPONSIBILITY 12 

CHAPTER  HI. 
PARENTAL  CONTROL 19 

CHAPTER  IV. 
PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT 27 

CHAPTER  V. 
PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY 44 

CHAPTER  VI. 
CHARACTER  AND  HABITS 72 

CHAPTER  VH. 
RELIGIOUS  TRAINING  105 


8  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VHL  PAGE. 

INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE .115 

CHAPTER  IX. 
THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL    ..... 

CHAPTER  X. 
THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY 

CHAPTER  XI. 
MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS  257 


THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL, 


i. 

INTRODUCTION. 

"  Home  is  the  sacred  refuge  of  our  life." 

DRYDEX. 


home  of  childhood,  —  what  hal 
lowed  associations  cluster  around  it  ! 
How  sacred  to  the  memory  and  dear  to 
the  heart  that  has  felt  its  power  !  The 
place  is  consecrated  by  parental  and  filial 
affection,  and  by  innocent  sports  and 
joys,  which  can  never  be  repeated  in  the 
experience  of  life.  The  very  name  ex 
cites  emotions  which  no  language  can 
describe.  And  when  the  melody  of 

"  Home,  home,  sweet,  sweet  home  !  " 


1 10'  -THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

strikes  upon  the  ear,  the  fountains  .of  the 
soul  are  stirred  to  their  lowest  depths. 

Here  exist  the  most  intimate  and  en 
dearing  of  all  human  relations.  Husband 
and  wife,  parents  and  children,  brothers 
and  sisters,  constitute  the  home,  and  enjoy 
a  common  sympathy,  and  toil  together 
to  promote  the  common  good. 

The  home  was  first  planted  in  Eden  by 
God's  own  hand,  and  has  been  trans 
planted  into  every  civilized  community. 
In  these  family  relations  the  father  stands 
as  the  ordained  head  of  his  household, 
—  to  provide  for  their  wants,  promote 
their  happiness,  and  share  their  blessings. 
The  mother  is  his  u  helpmeet,"  his  hon 
ored  queen,  and  the  sharer  of  his  author 
ity  and  responsibility  in  the  important 
work  of  education:  indeed,  she  is  the 
central  light  and  animating  spirit  of 
every  true  home  ;  and  hence  from  her 
emanates  the  educating  and  moulding 
power  in  every  family. 


INTR  OD  UCTION.  11 

The  importance  of  this  home  to  the 
welfare  of  our  race  cannot  be  overesti 
mated.  It  is  the  heart,  whose  arteries 
extend  to  the  utmost  limits  of  human 
society,  and  from  which  flows  the  life- 
blood  of  the  nation.  If  this  blood  is 
pure,  it  imparts  health  and  vigor  to  the 
whole  body  politic ;  but,  if  impure,  it 
engenders  corruption,  disease,  and  death. 

Now,  if  home-training  is  so  important, 
and  the  mother  is  the  chief  source  of 
that  influence  which  develops  and  ma 
tures  all  that  is  noble  in  the  future  citi 
zen,  it  must  follow  that  the  legitimate 
sphere  of  her  activity  and  usefulness  lies 
chiefly  in  her  own  household.  If  she 
does  well  the  work  which  has  been  as 
signed  her  there,  she  will  have  no  time, 
nor  strength,  nor  disposition,  to  seek  an 
other  and  more  extensive  field  of  labor. 


II. 

PARENTAL  RESPONSIBILITY, 

"YTTHO  can  measure  it?  Parents  are 
the  God-commissioned  guardians, 
rulers,  and  guides  of  their  children. 
They  have  been  selected  from  the  race, 
and  ordained  to  this  special  work.  Im 
planted  in  them  is  an  instinctive,  peculiar 
love  for  their  offspring,  which  was  de 
signed  to  insure  fidelity.  United  by  the 
ties  of  consanguinity,  they  are  the  near 
est  in  affection,  and  the  nearest  in  place. 
In  this  fearful  position,  parents  have  in 
charge  the  beginning  and  shaping  of  a 
boundless,  eternal  destiny.  As  rulers 
and  teachers,  they  hold  a  sceptre  more 
royal  than  that  of  kings,  and  occupy  a 

12 


PARENTAL   RESPONSIBILITY.  13 

throne  nearest  of  any  human  power  to 
the  throne  of  God.  Parents  are  there 
fore  ordained  as  special  ministers,  to 
keep  safely,  educate  wisely,  and  bless 
continually,  their  tender  children. 

Mark  the  filial  spirit  which  the  child 
cherishes  for  the  fond  and  faithful 
mother.  What  more  pure  and  elevat 
ing  ?  With  what  simple  and  unfaltering 
faith  does  he  lean  upon  the  maternal 
arm,  and  trust  in  maternal  fidelity! 
Every  tone  of  the  mother's  voice  thrills 
the  heart  of  childhood;  and  every  ex 
pression  of  her  countenance  awakens  joy 
or  SOITOW,  hope  or  fear.  Here  we  have 
a  glimpse  of  the  unmeasured  power  of 
home- training  over  the  destiny  of  the 
child,  which  is  the  measure  of  parental 
responsibility ;  yet  no  finite  mind  can 
ever  fully  comprehend  it. 

And  for  what  are  parents  training 
their  children?  They  enjoy  them  now 


14  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

as  sunbeams  which  cheer  their  homes, 
and  hold  them  as  treasures  which  wealth 
could  not  purchase.  They  hope  to  have 
them  as  companions  in  riper  years,  and 
to  lean  upon  them  for  comfort  and  sup 
port  in  declining  life.  But  it  will  de 
pend  largely  upon  their  early  training 
whether  they  will  honor  or  dishonor  the 
name  they  have  inherited  ;  whether  they 
will  be  a  source  of  comfort  and  joy,  or 
will  "bring  the  grav  hairs  of  their  par 
ents  in  sorrow  to  their  graves." 

Parents  are  training  their  children  also 
for  society,  for  the  duties  and  responsi 
bilities  of  citizenship.  But  what  kind 
of  citizenship  shall  it  be?  "The  child 
is  the  father  of  the  man; "  and  his  devel 
opment  for  good  or  evil,  under  parental 
control,  will  determine  his  future  char 
acter.  The  neglect  or  mismanagement 
of  parents  results  in  the  misdeeds  of  chil 
dren.  The  ill-tempered  and  disobedient 


PARENTAL    RESPONSIBILITY.  15 

boy,  unsubdued  at  home,  will  be  dis 
orderly  at  school,  and  contentious,  vulgar, 
and  profane  in  the  streets ;  and  he  is  thus 
trained  to  enter  directly  upon  a  course 
of  dissipation  and  crime  that  may  lead 
to  ruin.  The  unrestrained  girl  will  be 
likely  to  grow  up  self-willed,  petulant, 
vain,  frivolous,  and  self-idolizing ;  and 
society  made  up  of  such  citizens  will  be 
come  a  mingled  scene  of  struggling  and 
crushing  antagonisms.  Let  it  not  be  for 
gotten  that  the  thirty  thousand  human 
beings  now  confined  within  prison- walls 
in  the  United  States  were  once  innocent 
children  in  maternal  arms.  What  a  fear 
ful  responsibility,  then,  rests  upon  Ameri 
can  parents,  since  the  destiny  of  their 
children  and  of  the  nation  depends  upon 
their  influence  and  efforts ! 

Again:  the  family  is  a  school,  and  the 
parents  the  divinely-ordained  teachers. 
Education  begins  at  the  dawn  of  existence, 


16  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

and  terminates  only  with  life.  Helpless 
infancy  is  intrusted  to  parental  love  and 
care.  Its  puny  body  must  be  nourished 
and  clothed.  With  what  provident  care 
has  the  Creator  provided  for  these  special 
wants !  and  how  tenderly  does  the  true 
mother  watch  over  her  precious  charge, 
and  minister  to  its  necessities  and  com 
forts  !  Anxious  days  and  sleepless  nights 
bear  testimony  to  her  faithfulness.  Ere 
long,  through  the  development  of  the 
physical  system,  intelligence  dawns  ;  and 
smiles  begin  to  play  upon  the  counte 
nance,  as  if  the  child  had  learned  to  rec 
ognize  with  gratitude  and  love  the 
patient  toil  of  its  benefactor.  During 
this  period  its  very  life  was  in  peril,  de 
pendent  upon  the  mother,  the  guardian 
angel  of  the  home. 

Here  opens  another  scene  in  life's 
drama.  With  intelligence  come  the  ac 
tivity  and  accountability  of  the  child,  and 


PARENTAL   RESPONSIBILITY.  17 

a  new  responsibility  upon  the  parent. 
The  tiny  limbs  must  be  trained  to  walk, 
and  the  silent  tongue  to  prattle.  The 
mind,  like  a  clean  white  canvas,  begins 
now  to  receive  impressions  from  the  ex 
ternal  world  through  the  senses,  and  to 
judge  of  the  right  and  wrong  of  childish 
actions.  Here  double  diligence  must  be 
exercised  to  guard  against  new  danger,  — 
not  the  danger  of  being  harmed  by  fire 
or  water  or  poison  through  ignorance 
of  their  uses  and  abuses,  but  by  the  cor 
rupting  influence  of  a  wicked  world.  And 
how  can  parents  feel  less  solicitude  for 
the  moral  safety  of  their  children  who 
have  come  to  years  of  discretion,  and  are 
compelled  to  walk  amid  so  many  pitfalls 
of  ruin,  than  for  their  physical  safety 
while  exposed  to  the  common  accidents 
of  life? 

At  this  critical  period,  provision  must 

be  made  to  form  the  character;    to  ex- 

2* 


18  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

pand,  mature,  and  furnish  the  mind ;  to 
cultivate  the  conscience;  in  a  word,  to 
develop  the  whole  being  into  true  man 
hood  or  womanhood.  This  is  the  end  to 
be  reached,  and  by  a  process  which  is 
expressed  by  the  word  "  education ;  "  and 
this  vast  work  is  intrusted  chiefly  to  par 
ents.  For  its  accomplishment  they  are 
held  responsible  ;  and  this  responsibility 
they  cannot  evade. 


III. 

PAKENTAL  CONTROL, 

r  I  ^HE  discipline  of  the  family,  as  treated 
in  this  volume,  implies  much  more 
than  family  government :  it  includes  the 
management  and  culture  of  children  in 
all  the  relations  they  sustain  while  under 
parental  care.  But  parental  control  and 
filial  submission  are  not  only  a  duty  under 
the  divine  law,  but  a  necessity  for  the 
welfare  of  the  child.  Without  experi 
ence,  he  is  in  the  midst  of  danger,  and 
exposed  to  injury  and  death ;  and  yet  he 
fears  no  evil.  His  hand  must  be  forcibly 
withheld  from  the  burning  coals;  and, 
though  he  cry  ever  so  bitterly,  he  must 
not  be  allowed  to  play  with  edged  tools, 

19 


20  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

nor  to  eat  poison.  The  most  strenuous 
advocates  of  moral  suasion  must  admit 
that  here,  at  least,  authority  and  force  are 
properly  and  necessarily  exercised.  And 
it  is  just  here  that  the  child  is  initiated 
into  submission  to  the  power  above  him. 
In  every  instance  of  positive  and  imme 
diate  danger,  the  parent  interferes  to  pre 
vent  the  evil ;  and  yet  how  many  utterly 
fail  to  administer  positive  government  be 
yond  this  point!  Such  neglect  is  entirely 
inconsistent  and  ruinous.  Government, 
to  be  effective,  must  be  absolute  and  uni 
form,  and  must  reach  every  case  of  wrong 
as  well  as  of  danger. 

The  child  has  been  described  by  some 
writer  as  ua  little  crawling,  creeping, 
picking,  pulling,  pushing,  climbing,  tot- 
tling,  and  tumbling  piece  of  activity." 
As  such  he  is  committed  to  the  mother's 
care.  Activity  is,  indeed,  a  condition  of 
his  mental  and  physical  development; 


PARENTAL   CONTROL.  21 

but  it  must  be  under  constant  control. 
With  a  blind  impulse  he  moves  in  every 
direction,  regardless  alike  of  his  own  safe 
ty  and  of  the  comforts  and  rights  of 
others.  He  may  pull  the  boiling  teapot 
from  the  stove ;  and  may  not  the  mother 
force  him  away  to  prevent  his  death  from 
scalding?  He  may  dash  the  china  set 
upon  the  floor ;  and  may  she  not,  with 
equal  propriety,  interpose  her  authority 
to  prevent  the  destruction  of  the  prop 
erty,  and  to  teach  the  child  the  wrong  of 
such  recklessness?  Suppose  she  meets 
angry  wilfulness  and  sullen  resistance  in 
her  efforts  to  correct  and  restrain :  may 
she  not,  and  should  she  not,  hold  the 
little  rebel  under  discipline  until  he  is 
subdued  to  cheerful  obedience  ? 

There  must  be  fixed  statutes  in  every 
domestic  realm;  and  these  must  be  re 
vealed  to  the  children  as  soon  as  they 
can  understand  them,  and  must  be  re- 


22  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

peated  as  often  as  they  are  disposed  to 
violate  them.  And  these  laws  must 
be  enforced  at  all  times  and  everywhere 
if  the  desirable  results  of  family  govern 
ment  are  to  be  realized.  The  habit  of 
disobedience,  which  often  results  from 
parental  weakness,  may  lead  to  some  ter 
rible,  blighting  calamity  to  the  family. 
How  often  are  we  startled  by  news  of  the 
sudden  and  violent  death  of  some  darling 
child!  But,  had  that  child  been  taught 
unconditional  obedience  to  parental  au 
thority,  he  would  not  have  entered  the 
forbidden  water,  nor  played  upon  the 
brink  of  the  precipice.  Begin  early  to 
enforce  obedience,  and  with  a  steady 
hand,  firm  purpose,  and  loving  heart, 
meet  and  subdue  every  rebellious  effort 
on  the  part  of  the  child,  and  family  gov 
ernment  will  be  comparatively  easy,  and 
the  fearful  consequences  of  insubordina 
tion  will  be  avoided.  Immediate  sub- 


PARENTAL  CONTROL.  23 

mission  to  separate  and  incidental  com 
mands  and  prohibitions  is  the  only  con 
dition  of  absolute  parental  control  and 
filial  security.  This  should  be  insisted  on 
from  the  beginning.  I  do  not  believe  in 
the  "divine  right  of  kings;"  but  I  do 
insist  upon  the  divine  right  of  parents  to 
control  their  children  during  all  the  years 
of  their  minority ;  and  that  the  future 
character  of  these  children,  as  pupils,  as 
citizens,  and  as  subjects  of  the  divine 
government,  will  be  determined  largely 
by  this  early  training. 

It  is  from  the  ranks  of  children  ungov- 
erned  at  home  that  our  reform-schools, 
houses  of  correction,  jails,  and  prisons 
are  filled ;  and  the  domestic  training 
that  saves  from  such  fearful  consequences 
begins  by  securing  obedience  to  specific 
directions,  and  expands  into  a  cheerful 
compliance  with  general  rules  of  right 
and  duty.  If  the  child  is  not  required  to 


24  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

obey  a  particular  command,  lie  will  not 
conform  to  general  laws  in  the  family, 
in  the  school,  or  in  society :  but  if,  on 
the  other  hand,  filial  obedience  early 
becomes  a  habit,  the  severer  struggles 
between  parents  and  children  which  cause 
so  much  pain  and  grief  in  after-years 
would  be  avoided;  and  that  "stubborn 
will "  which  defies  parental  authority,  and 
invokes  severe  punishments,  would  never 
be  formed. 

This  was  evidently  a  part  of  the  divine 
plan.  At  first,  the  child  is  not  only  igno 
rant  and  impulsive,  but  weak,  and  easily 
controlled.  Soon  consciousness  dawns, 
and  he  begins  to  recognize  the  mother's 
voice  and  smile.  Fear,  love,  and  rever 
ence  are  awakened;  and  these  become 
powerful  aids  to  maternal  government. 
This,  then,  is  the  opportunity,  and  these 
the  means  provided  by  God,  to  enforce 
the  great  lesson,  and  to  teach  the  child 


PARENTAL  CONTROL.  25 

not  only  the  necessity,  but  the  obligation, 
of  obedience. 

Happy  are  those  children  who  have 
been  thus  reared  under  the  discipline  of 
home ;  happy  in  the  peaceful  submission 
to  parental  authority,  and  in  the  enjoy 
ment  of  parental  love ;  happy  in  the  ex 
ercise  of  filial  affection,  and  reverence 
toward  those  whom  God  has  placed  over 
them;  and  happy  in  the  enjoyment  of 
mutual  love  and  mutual  sympathy.  And 
happy,  indeed,  those  parents  whose  fidel 
ity  has  trained  for  themselves,  their 
country,  and  their  God,  such  a  family; 
happy  in  their  society  and  in  the  sun 
shine  of  their  affections;  happy  in  the 
thought  that  they  will  be  sustained  and 
comforted  in  declining  life  by  the  strong 
arm  and  tender  heart  of  their  own  loyal 
offspring,  and  that  they  will  die,  not 
among  strangers,  but  surrounded  by 
their  own  kindred;  happy  in  the  assur- 


26  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

ance  that  their  children  will  in  the  future 
honor  their  name,  their  memory,  and 
their  virtues,  and  will  bless  the  nation 
through  the  influence  of  a  noble  and  ex 
alted  citizenship. 


IV. 
PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT. 

LPAMILY  government  is  both  an  art 
and  a  science.  Some  parents  are 
endowed  by  nature  with  a  special  gift  to 
manage  and  control  children  ;  while 
others  seem  almost  entirely  to  lack  this 
qualification.  The  first  class,  even,  may 
profit  by  suggestions  from  the  more  ex 
perienced  and  wise ;  but  the  second  class, 
who  must  also  bear  parental  responsi 
bility,  especially  need  instruction  and 
training  for  their  important  work. 

Insubordination  is  a  characteristic  of 
our  age  and  country.  It  is  seen  in  the 
irreverent  and  unruly  spirit  of  children 
in  the  family  and  in  the  school ;  in  their 

27 


28  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

rude,  boisterous,  and  profane  conduct  in 
the  streets;  in  their  truancy  and  crime, 
which  have  filled  our  reform-schools  and 
houses  of  correction;  in  the  frequent 
rebellions  in  academies  and  colleges 
throughout  the  land.  That  all  these  con 
sequences  have  too  often  resulted  directly 
from  parental  inefficiency  and  misman 
agement,  no  intelligent  observer  can 
doubt. 

Some  parents,  through  their  own  per- 
verseness,  have  lost  the  power  to  minister 
at  the  sacred  family  altar.  Their  exam 
ple  and  influence  are  wholly  unfavorable 
to  wholesome  discipline.  They  sustain 
the  sacred  relation  of  husband  and  wife, 
and  have  been  intrusted  with  the  holy 
mission  of  moulding  the  character  of 
childhood;  but  they  have  become  di 
vorced  in  spirit  and  in  life.  Their  little 
differences  are  permitted  to  ripen  into 
open  rupture ;  and  their  home,  which 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  29 

should  be  the  very  paradise  of  earthly 
bliss,  where  affection  and  harmony  al 
ways  dwell,  becomes  a  scene  of  perpetual 
strife  and  turmoil.  And  how  fearful  the 
influence  of  such  example  over  the  im 
mediate  and  more  distant  future  of  these 
children!  A  large  proportion  of  the 
lawlessness,  vice,  and  crime,  which  curse 
American  society,  results  directly  from 
this  cause.  Here,  then,  is  a  theme  for 
the  contemplation  of  the  Christian  phi 
lanthropist,  who  seeks  the  elevation  of 
our  people  and  the  perpetuity  of  our 
free  institutions.  Let  him  toil  to  harmo 
nize,  purify,  and  enlighten  the  homes 
where  our  future  citizens  must  be  trained. 
Other  parents  do  not  attempt  to  gov 
ern  their  children,  nor  believe  in  the 
importance  or  utility  of  such  control, 
except  in  cases  of  absolute  physical  dan 
ger:  hence  they  offer  no  restraints,  and 
exercise  no  authority  over  them.  They 

3* 


30  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

profess  to  believe  that  reproofs  and  pun 
ishments  result  only  in  moroseness  of 
disposition,  and  perverseness  of  manners. 
Such  interpositions  disturb  the  quiet  and 
harmony  of  the  family ;  and  hence  the 
parents  yield  to  every  wish,  and  gratify 
every  desire,  of  their  children,  to  avoid 
the  fancied  evil.  But  such  a  family  de 
mocracy  soon  resolves  itself  into  a  fearful 
despotism,  where  the  children  are  the 
rulers,  and  their  parents  are  the  obedient 
and  much-abused  subjects.  How  wise  (in 
their  own  estimation),  arrogant,  dictato 
rial,  and  ill-mannered  such  children  be 
come,  we  have  frequent  opportunities  to 
see.  Nor  could  it  be  otherwise,  under 
this  perverted  order  of  things.  The  di 
vinely-appointed  sovereigns  of  the  house 
have  been  deposed,  and  are  in  subjec 
tion.  The  natural  subjects  have  never 
learned  obedience  under  authority : 
hence  the  sad  consequences  are  realized 
at  home,  in  school,  and  in  society. 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  31 

Still  other  parents  attempt  to  govern, 
but  fail,  some  from  one  cause,  and  some 
from  another.  I  may  here  specify  some 
of  the  more  common  ways  of  spoiling  chil 
dren. 

First,  I  will  name  the  fickle  method. 
Parental  tenderness  was  designed  by  God 
to  insure  fidelity.  It  inspires  an  undy 
ing  interest  in  the  child's  welfare ;  and,  if 
rightly  directed,  will  secure  its  object. 
But  the  mother  lacks  firmness.  Her  con 
victions  are  all  right,  and  her  views  of 
government,  in  the  main,  correct;  but 
she  seems  to  have  no  power  to  resist  her 
child's  importunity.  He  craves  some  im 
proper  gratification,  and  demands  indul 
gence.  The  mother  refuses.  The  child 
persists,  because  he  has  learned  by  expe 
rience  that  she  does  not  really  mean  no 
when  she  says  it.  Why  did  she  not  teach 
her  darling  that  important  lesson  in  the 
beginning,  and  thus  save  herself  all  this 


32  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

trouble  and  annoyance?  She  did  not; 
and  hence  the  child  undertakes  to  re 
verse  her  decision,  and  with  the  full 
assurance  that  he  can  accomplish  his 
object.  It  may  cost  a  half-hour's  teasing, 
or  a  u  flood  of  tears,"  or  a  violent  fit  of 
passion,  or  a  spasmodic  display  of  affec 
tion,  as  the  case  may  be;  but  the  worn 
and  weary  mother  will  surely  yield.  The 
contest  is  only  a  matter  of  time:  the 
result  is  not  doubtful.  And  what  is  the 
influence  of  this  fickleness  upon  the  tem 
per  and  life  of  the  child  ?  Does  he  love 
his  mother  more  tenderly  ?  Is  he  more 
amiable,  gentle,  obedient,  and  faithful 
afterwards  ?  No :  he  will  become  more 
irritable  and  selfish,  more  demanding  and 
determined  in  his  efforts  to  secure  his 
object.  Develop  the  selfish  propensities 
of  a  child's  nature,  and  his  filial  love  will 
be  diminished  in  the  same  proportion. 
The  former  is  allowed  to  overgrow  and 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  33 

cover  up  the  latter.  That  mother  is  the 
most  earnestly  loved  by  her  children  who 
governs  them  with  a  firm  and  impartial 
hand,  whose  decision  always  settles  all 
questions  without  controversy,  and  whose 
promises  are  sure  of  fulfilment.  Let  par 
ents  carefully  consider  the  requests  of 
their  children  asking  indulgence ;  and, 
when  they  have  said  yes  or  no,  let  that 
always  be  understood  to  be  the  final 
decision. 

Second,  Another  method  of  spoiling 
children  I  will  call  the  impulsive.  Parents 
practising  this  method  of  government  are 
fitful.  They  act  towards  their  children  as 
they  feel  at  the  time.  In  their  genial 
mood,  unbounded  indulgence  is  allowed 
them :  they  discover  no  faults  to  be  cor 
rected  ;  and  will  allow  no  punishments  to 
be  inflicted,  either  at  home  or  at  school. 
And  yet,  when  the  fit  of  passion  comes 
on,  they  assail  their  children  with  violence, 


34  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

and  chastise  them  in  an  unmerciful  man 
ner,  and  by  means  wholly  unjustifiable 
under  any  judicious  system  of  training. 
Pinching,  pushing,  cuffing,  flogging, 
thumping,  and  shutting  up  in  the  dark 
closet,  are  among  the  penalties  inflicted. 
These  unfortunate  children  soon  learn  to 
enjoy  the  sunshine,  and  to  endure  the 
storm ;  but  the  influence  of  such  treatment 
upon  their  temper,  habits,  and  life,  is  fear 
ful.  They  have  no  confidence  in  the  man 
agement  of  their  parents,  and  can  cherish 
for  them  but  a  limited  amount  of  affec 
tion.  They  grow  up  ill-tempered,  fretful, 
and  disobedient,  wholly  unfitted  for  the 
duties  and  responsibilities  of  mature  life. 

Third,  I  will  allude  to  the  scolding  and 
threatening  methods  of  spoiling  children. 
Correction  and  reproof  are  proper  and 
necessary  in  family  government ;  but  con 
stant  fault-finding  is  wrong  and  ruinous. 
To  ignore  the  good,  and  always  censure 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  35 

the  bad,  tends  to  discourage  the  child, 
and  leaves  him  to  contract  habits  of  heed- 
lessness,  and  to  float  along  the  current  of 
passion  and  evil  influence,  regardless  of 
consequences.  His  good  qualities  and 
commendable  conduct  should  be  recog 
nized,  and  encouraged  by  kind  words  of 
approval.  In  this  way,  that  pride  of 
character  and  self-respect  may  be  culti 
vated  which  will  prevent  much  of  the 
wrong  that  parents  are  obliged  to  rebuke 
and  punish. 

The  habit  of  threatening  children  is 
equally  objectionable.  The  desire  of  the 
parent  is  to  enforce  obedience  without 
severity ;  but  the  result  is  very  different. 
Obedience  is  not  rendered,  and  the  fail 
ure  to  secure  it  by  threatening  disarms 
authority.  Not  only  so,  but  every  un 
executed  threat  gives  the  child  an  exam 
ple  of  falsehood.  What  does  he  care 
about  the  oft-repeated  assurance  that  he 


36  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

will  be  "  shut  up  in  the  dark  closet,"  or 
"sent  to  the  cellar,"  or  "skinned  alive," 
since  he  knows  that  neither  the  im 
prisonment  nor  the  skinning  is  likely 
to  follow  ?  Or  if,  by  chance,  the  threat 
ened  punishment  is  undertaken,  the  child 
well  understands  his  own  ability  to  win 
in  the  fight.  He  has  learned  to  control 
such  parental  weakness,  and  gain  his  ob 
ject;  and  he  will  not  fail  to  improve 
every  opportunity.  And,  when  the  ac 
tions  of  parents  so  often  contradict  their 
words,  children  will  naturally  learn  the 
lesson,  and  contract  the  habit  of  lying. 
What  a  harvest  of  insubordination  and 
misery  has  been  reaped  in  those  families 
which  have  been  reared  under  such  mis 
management! 

To  avoid  the  contemplated  evil,  let 
parents  adopt  the  following  negative 
rules :  — 

Never  threaten  unless  you  design  to 
execute. 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  37 

Never  threaten  a  specific  punishment 
for  an  anticipated  offence. 

Never  resort  to  stratagem  in  the  man 
agement  of  children. 

These  are  indeed  golden  rules  in  fami 
ly  discipline;  and,  if  strictly  followed, 
will  "hide  a  multitude  of  sins." 

Fourth,  The  flogging  method  of  spoil 
ing  children  must  not  be  overlooked. 

I  do  not  mean  to  call  in  question  the 
propriety  and  necessity  of  sometimes 
resorting  to  severity  in  the  government 
of  children.  There  are  times  when,  liter 
ally,  to  "  spare  the  rod"  is  to  "spoil  the 

child."     There  are  cases  in  the  treatment 

• 

of  which  the  severest  punishment  is  not 
only  the  first  and  only  remedy,  but  an 
expression  of  the  greatest  kindness ; 
and  this  severity  is  more  often  made 
necessary  by  the  mismanagement  of 
parents  than  by  any  other  cause. 

The    system    of    family    government 


38  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

which  I  here  condemn  adopts  "  flog 
ging  "  as  a  rule.  It  offers  a  blow  for 
every  offence.  It  does  not  recognize 
kindness  as  the  necessary  acompaniment 
of  severity,  and  management  as  a  better 
way  of  preventing  evil.  Corporal  pun 
ishment  so  employed  appeals  to  the 
lower  nature  of  the  child,  and  hence 
does  not  secure  the  object. 

I  once  called  to  account,  for  a  slight 
offence,  a  little  boy  seven  years  of  age 
who  had  been  intrusted  to  my  care.  I 
said  to  him,  "Now,  Bertie,  what  shall  I 
do  with  you  for  thus  disobeying  my 
orders?"  His  answer  was,  "Whip  me, 
of  course."  The  little  fellow  had  been 
so  roughly  treated  in  his  home  relations, 
that  he  knew  of  no  other  disciplinary 
agency  but  u  flogging ;  "  and  expected 
this  for  every  act  of  disobedience.  And 
he  supposed  still  further,  that  this  pen 
alty,  like  penance,  atoned  for  the  crime. 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  39 

Hence  he  must  infer  that  the  fear  of 
punishment  is  the  only  motive  to  obedi 
ence.  View  this  system  as  we  may,  it 
tends  to  subvert  the  true  idea  of  disci 
pline,  and  to  degrade  its  subjects  in  the 
scale  of  moral  beings.  No  well-managed 
and  well-governed  family  needs  such 
treatment;  and  no  wise  and  judicious 
parent  ever  resorts  to  it. 

Fifth,  The  persuasive  is  still  another 
method  of  spoiling  children. 

Persuasion,  and  every  other  mild  meas 
ure  which  tends  to  induce  good  behavior, 
are  legitimate  agencies  in  family  govern 
ment.  The  moral  power  of  gentleness, 
forbearance,  kindness,  good  example, 
wholesome  counsel,  and  proffered  reward, 
should  be  recognized,  as  well  as  the 
moral  power  of  reproof  and  punishment ; 
but  none  of  these  may  ever  take  the 
place  of  authority. 

But  the  liability  of  mistake  is  not  in 


40  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

the  use,  but  in  the  abuse,  of  gentle  meas 
ures  in  the  training  of  the  young. 
Moral  suasion  has  its  own  proper  sphere, 
in  the  management  of  the  family,  to  pre 
vent  evil.  When  the  passions  are  un 
ruffled,  and  the  loyalty  of  our  children  is 
unquestioned,  it  is  Godlike  to  win  and 
control  them  by  the  power  of  affection. 
It  is  proper,  also,  to  rebuke  and  chastise 
when  they  have  abused  our  love,  and 
broken  away  from  our  authority.  This 
spirit  of  disobedience  manifests  itself  in 
different  ways,  according  to  the  disposi 
tion  of  the  child  and  the  circumstances 
of  the  case,  —  sometimes  in  cool  and  de 
liberate  disregard  of  our  wishes,  some 
times  in  sullen  and  determined  hostility, 
sometimes  in  passion  that  vents  itself  in 
screams  and  angry  tears,  and  sometimes 
in  open  resistance.  In  either  case,  it  is 
wrong  and  ruinous  to  attempt  to  coax 
him  into  obedience.  The  effort  may  sue- 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  41 

ceed,  and  it  may  fail :  it  makes  but  little 
difference  which.  Authority,  which  is 
the  only  legitimate  controlling  power  in 
such  cases,  has  either  been  entirely  set 
aside,  or  greatly  weakened  by  an  appeal 
to  argument.  To  resort  to  persuasion, 
therefore,  is  a  confession  of  weakness,  and 
a  loss  of  governing  power. 

Sixth,  Nearly  allied  to  the  persuasive 
is  the  bribing  method  of  spoiling  chil 
dren. 

Here,  again,  let  me  not  be  misunder 
stood.  I  do  not  condemn  the  principle 
of  rewarding  fidelity  in  family  govern 
ment.  This  is  just  and  proper  when 
rightly  applied.  But  rewarding  spon 
taneous  and  voluntary  obedience  on  the 
part  of  the  child  is  quite  another  thing 
from  offering  rewards  to  induce  or  restore 
good  behavior.  In  the  first  case,  real 
merit  is  compensated;  in  the  second,  a 
price  is  paid  the  child  for  doing  what  ob- 

4* 


42  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ligation  and  duty  demand  of  all.  In  the 
former  instance,  there  is  an  acknowl 
edged  allegiance  to  parental  control,  and 
submission  to  parental  authority;  in  the 
latter,  the  proffered  reward  becomes  the 
prevailing  motive  to  action,  and  loyalty 
is  sacrificed  to  selfishness.  Paying  chil 
dren  for  being  good  is  not  the  exercise 
of  authority,  nor  can  it  secure  obedience. 
It  is  a  ruinous  bargain,  —  a  bounty  upon 
impudence  and  insubordination.  In  all 
such  traffic,  disobedience  becomes  a  cur 
rency  in  the  family  market  to  purchase 
any  desired  indulgence.  If  a  slight  of 
fence  will  induce  the  mother  to  give  a 
single  piece  of  pie,  cake,  or  candy,  to  her 
rebellious  child,  stubbornness  will  pur 
chase  more,  and  a  fierce  open  war  still 
more,  to  gratify  a  craving,  perverted  pal 
ate,  and  to  weaken  the  sense  of  filial 
obligation.  The  price  paid  for  a  tardy 
compliance  with  parental  commands  in- 


PARENTAL  MISMANAGEMENT.  43 

duces  the  child  to  act  from  wrong  mo 
tives,  and  hence  becomes  a  bribe  in  the 
hands  of  the  parent.  Who  can  fail  to  see 
the  fearful  train  of  evils  that  must  follow 
such  a  process  of  family  government? 
And  yet  is  not  a  better  method  than 
those  here  described,  when  adopted,  the 
exception,  and  not  the  rule,  in  our  Amer 
ican  families  ? 


V. 
PAEENTAL    EFFICIENCY, 

T  MAY  now  inquire  for  the  true  method 
of  family  government.  It  is  based 
upon  divinely-established  authority.  The 
very  relations  of  parents  and  children 
demand  absolute  and  unconditional  con 
trol  on  the  one  hand,  and  obedience  on 
the  other. 

But  this  obedience  is  not,  like  filial 
love  and  faith,  instinctive.  Every  child 
of  common  capacity  turns  to  his  mother 
for  food,  and,  with  instinctive  confidence, 
seeks  her  sympathy  and  protection  in  the 
hour  of  fright  and  danger.  He  cannot 
be  taught  to  love  and  confide  in  that 
mother ;  for  affection  and  confidence 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  45 

spring  up  spontaneously  in  the  young 
heart.  But  not  so  with  obedience.  The 
mother  sometimes  wonders  and  is  grieved 
that  her  darling,  so  affectionate,  so  con 
fiding,  and  so  dependent,  does  not  always 
and  instantly  regard  her  wishes  and 
obey  her  commands.  But  I  can  tell  her 
the  reason.  That  child  has  no  natural 
impulse  in  that  direction ;  has  no  idea  of 
submission.  The  habit  of  obedience  is 
yet  to  be  created  under  parental  disci 
pline,  .and  is  wholly  the  work  of  educa 
tion.  Hence  it  must  follow  that  insub 
ordination  in  the  family  is  not  so  much 
the  fault  of  children  as  of  their  parents. 
Had  the  mother,  fully  conscious  of  her 
right  and  duty  in  this  regard,  employed 
her  authority  and  strength  to  secure 
obedience  to  her  commands  during  in 
fancy  and  childhood,  stubbornness  would 
be  unknown  in  that  family.  Should  she, 
then,  become  angry  with  her  children 


46  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

for  faults  which  her  own  neglect  has  cul 
tivated  and  encouraged  ?  The  child  must 
be  taught  obedience.  The  mother  has 
failed  to  enforce  that  lesson,  and  hence 
her  disappointment  and  grief.  In  the 
exercise  of  mistaken  kindness,  she  failed 
to  check  the  first  indications  of  insubor 
dination,  and  thus  lost  control  over  her 
child,  and  laid  the  foundation  for  the 
misrule  and  ruin  which  naturally  follow. 
But  it  may  not  be  too  late,  even  now,  for 
her  to  establish  her  authority,  and  correct 
the  evil.  Let  her  do  this  without  delay, 
and  by  any  proper  means  necessary. 

And  how  shall  this  authority  be  exer 
cised  so  as  to  prevent  the  consequences 
of  disobedience  ?  Authority,  like  gravity 
in  the  material  world,  must  always  be 
the  controlling  power  in  the  family ;  but 
it  may  generally  be  concealed.  It  is  "  a 
power  behind  the  throne,"  always  ac 
knowledged  and  constant  in  its  influence ; 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  47 

but  its  sceptre  is  invisible.  It  operates 
without  friction,  and  holds  in  subjection 
the  conflicting  and  struggling  passions 
during  the  forming  periods  of  childhood 
and  youth. 

Authority  is  mild  and  gentle  in  its 
more  effective  aspects.  When  the  moth 
er  makes  it  the  basis  of  her  government, 
it  is  not  necessary  for  her  to  assume  stern 
ness  and  severity  towards  her  children, 
nor  to  command  them  in  a  harsh  and 
abrupt  manner.  The  more  gentle,  cour 
teous,  and  kind  in  her  expressions,  the 
better,  if  they  understand  them  as  the 
mandates  of  authority,  to  be  instantly 
obeyed.  Even  the  reasons  for  her  re 
quirements  may  be  explained,  when  she 
can  properly  leave  the  child  to  reflect 
upon  the  course  of  conduct  recom 
mended,  with  a  view  of  securing  his  ap 
proval.  But,  if  a  question  of  obedience 
is  pending,  no  reasons  should  be  given. 


48  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

The  principle  of  simple  submission  to 
authority  must  first  be  settled,  and  cheer 
ful  compliance  secured.  Reasons  should 
never  be  offered  as  inducements  to 
secure  obedience.  If  the  mother  stops 
to  parley  with  her  rebellious  child,  he 
will  surely  gain  the  victory. 

Nor  is  this  view  of  our  subject  incon 
sistent  with  indulgence.  The  mother 
may  indulge  her  children  in  all  that  is 
beneficial  and  harmless,  and  forbear  with 
them  when  in  fault,  and  yet  exercise 
over  them  absolute  and  supreme  control. 
Indeed,  this  very  indulgence  increases 
her  power  to  control  them;  and,  when 
her  authority  is  justly  and  gently  exer 
cised,  it  serves  to  strengthen  their  love 
and  confidence.  But,  when  maternal 
authority  is  sacrificed  in  an  attempt  to 
win  and  hold  childish  affection,  it  is 
always  a  failure.  Children  enjoy,  for  the 
time,  the  mother's  excessive  indulgence ; 


PARENTAL   EFFICIENCY.  49 

but  they  soon  learn  her  weakness.  As 
years  roll  on,  insubordination  becomes 
intolerable,  and  severe  punishments  ne 
cessary.  Then  they  come  to  view  her 
imbecility  with  mingled  emotions  of 
pity  and  contempt.  Indulgence,  with 
out  government,  always  tends  to  this 
result ;  and  just  here  the  mistake  is  made 
in  family  discipline.  The  only  way  to 
gain  the  lasting  love  and  gratitude  of 
our  children  is  to  govern  them.  Nor  is 
there,  as  I  have  already  intimated,  any 
antagonism  between  free  indulgence  and 
absolute  control.  Of  course,  they  must 
be  restrained  in  every  thing  that  is 
dangerous  or  injurious  ;  but  they  may 
be  gratified  to  any  extent,  and  safely,  in 
every  thing  that  is  harmless,  so  long  as 
they  cheerfully  yield  to  acknowledged 
authority. 

Another  principle  of  great  importance 
underlies   fa,mily   discipline.     The    child 


50  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

must  never  gain  any  desired  object  by 
disobedience;  must  never  be  gratified 
by  doing  wrong.  The  favors  bestowed 
must  reward  only  fidelity  and  submission. 
And,  still  further,  inconvenience,  priva 
tion,  or  pain,  must  attend  and  follow 
every  act  of  transgression.  This  is  ac 
cording  to  the  divine  plan,  after  which 
family  government  should  be  modelled. 

And  it  must  be  certain  that  merited 
punishment  will  follow  every  wrong  act. 
To  illustrate:  The  child  approaches  too 
near  the  fire,  or  puts  his  fingers  into  the 
blaze  of  the  candle ;  and,  every  time,  he 
'suffers  pain  as  a  consequence.  The  re 
sult  is,  he  soon  learns  obedience  to 
Nature's  law,  and  keeps  at  a  proper  dis 
tance  from  the  fire.  A  slight  pain,  and 
the  positive  certainty  of  suffering,  have 
accomplished  the  object.  Now  for  the 
application :  Let  the  mother  see  to  it 
that  every  time  her  child  disobeys  her 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  51 

commands,  or  disregards  her  wishes,  he 
will  .suffer  for  the  wrong,  and  she  will 
seldom  have  occasion  to  inflict  severe 
penalties.  The  certainty  more  than  the 
severity  of  the  punishment  makes  it  effect 
ual.  I  will  call  this  treatment  mild  se 
verity,  and  commend  it  to  every  thought 
ful  parent.  If  attended  by  steadiness, 
firmness,  and  decision,  it  will  accomplish 
much  more  than  scolding,  threatening, 
and  whipping. 

Another  important  thought  in  this 
connection.  As  far  as  possible,  let  the 
punishment  be  the  natural  consequence 
of  the  fault  which  has  been  committed. 
For  instance :  Suppose  the  child  always 
throws  down  his  hat  which  he  is  required 
to  hang  upon  the  rack,  and  the  mother 
wishes  to  correct  the  habit.  She  may 
require  him  to  return  and  hang  up  his 
hat,  and,  as  a  penalty  for  the  first  offence, 
detain  him  five  minutes  before  he  is 


52  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

allowed  to  return  to  his  play;  for  the 
second  offence,  ten  minutes;  and  so  on 
until  the  habit  is  cured.  Here  the  pri 
vation  is  associated  with  the  fault,  and 
seems  naturally  to  result  from  it.  The 
child  has  time  for  reflection,  and  feels  the 
influence  of  a  strong  motive  to  reform. 
Or  suppose  the  child  is  allowed  a  recess 
from  study,  say  for  thirty  minutes,  but 
he  remains  at  play  for  forty  minutes. 
Let  the  mother  punish  him  by  shortening 
his  recess,  first  to  twenty  minutes,  then 
to  ten,  and  finally  allow  him  no  time  for 
play  until  she  is  assured  that  he  will  re 
turn  promptly  as  directed. 

All  such  punishments  are  designed  to 
correct  and  cure  the  evil  for  the  future 
benefit  of  the  child.  They  may  be  mild 
or  severe  as  the  case  requires,  but  should 
never  be  vindictive,  nor  administered  in 
anger.  Promptness  and  firmness  are 
demanded  in  correcting  the  faults  of 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  53 

children,    but   harshness    and    ill-temper 
never. 

Kindness  and  sympathy  are  powerful 
disciplinary  agencies,  and  should  always 
accompany  reproof  and  severity.  Let 
the  child  be  made  to  understand  that 
every  look  of  disapprobation,  every 
word  of  rebuke,  and  every  penalty  in 
flicted,  is  prompted  by  maternal  love,  and 
the  very  fact  will  tend  strongly  to  sub 
due  the  rebellious  spirit.  And  mutual 
sympathy  between  parents  and  children 
operates  to  secure  the  same  result. 
Look  at  the  natural  effect  of  sympathy  in 
its  material  and  mental  aspects.  The 
habits  of  one  person  are  imparted  to  the 
whole  company :  cheerfulness  and  joy,  or 
sorrow  and  sadness,  expressed  by  one  in 
dividual,  carry  either  happiness  or  gloom 
to  the  hearts  of  the  circle  in  which  he 
mingles.  It  is  through  sympathy  that 
mankind  gain  control  over  each  other  in 

5* 


54  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

the  common  affairs  of  life.  They  cherish 
the  feelings  and  embrace  the  opinions  of 
those  they  love;  and,  if  these  opinions 
are  changed  in  maturer  years,  it  is  more 
the  result  of  sympathy  than  argument. 
Hence  we  can  readily  understand  the 
power  of  this  principle  over  childhood. 
The  child  is  in  full  sympathy  with  the 
true  mother,  clings  to  her  in  the  hour 
of  danger,  believes  and  confides  in  her 
with  unwavering  confidence,  imitates 
her  actions,  treasures  up  her  words,  and 
imbibes  her  very  feelings  and  emotions. 
This  results  partly  from  the  intimate  rela 
tions  they  sustain  to  each  other,  and 
partly  from  judicious  training.  The  de 
gree  of  love  and  confidence  which  the 
child  cherishes  for  his  mother  depends 
upon  the  amount  of  sincere  sympathy  she 
manifests  in  his  childish  hopes  and  fears, 
joys  and  sorrows,  recreations  and  amuse 
ments,  ideas  and  fancies.  The  more 


PARENTAL   EFFICIENCY.  55 

childlike  the  parent,  the  better  qualified 
she  is  to  manage  and  guide  her  house 
hold.  Hence  the  great  importance  of 
gaining  the  confidence  and  love  of  our 
children,  and  the  still  greater  necessity 
of  being  ourselves,  in  character  and  life, 
what  we  desire  them  to  become. 

We  have  no  right  to  expect  that  these 
children  will  naturally  do  right,  rather 
than  wrong.  Facts  are  against  such  a 
conclusion.  Indeed,  accountability  pre 
supposes  instruction  as  to  what  is  right 
and  wrong;  and,  when  they  begin  to 
recognize  this  distinction,  both  the  good 
and  the  bad  in  their  conduct  should 
have  our  attention.  We  should  not  only 
rebuke  and  punish  the  wrong,  but  also 
commend  the  right  with  equal  fidelity. 
Serious  mistakes  are  often  made  in  deal 
ing  with  the  principle  here  involved. 
For  illustration  :  The  child  tells  the 
truth  many  times  during  the  week,  and, 


56  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

in  some  instances,  under  special  provoca 
tion  to  deceive ;  but  the  mother  regards 
truth-telling  as  a  matter  of  course,  and 
offers  no  commendation.  Finally  the 
temptation  becomes  too  strong,  and  the 
child  tells  a  falsehood,  —  one  lie  against 
many  instances  of  truth-telling ;  and  he 
is  assailed  at  once  with  reproaches  and 
punishments.  The  reproof  and  chastise 
ment  may  be  proper,  both  in  kind  and 
degree ;  but,  if  the  mother  has  failed  to 
commend  her  child  for  his  fidelity,  she 
has  omitted  the  most  important  part  of 
her  duty.  Such  encouragement  would 
tend  to  form  and  strengthen  the  habit  of 
well-doing,  and  to  weaken  the  power  of 
evil.  To  commend  pure  thoughts,  cor 
rect  motives,  and  right  actions,  is  to  aid 
the  child  in  his  efforts  to  establish  a  char 
acter  of  integrity  and  uprightness. 

I  do  not  mean  by  these   suggestions 
to  encourage   the   indiscriminate   praise 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  57 

and  flattery  of  children  by  their  parents. 
This  would  defeat  the  end  in  view  by 
cultivating  vanity  and  self-conceit.  Praise 
what  is  praiseworthy,  rebuke  what  is 
wrong ;  and  the  influence  of  parental 
discipline  will  tend  to  develop  only -the 
more  noble  elements  of  character. 

There  is  one  instance  where  the 
mother  never  makes  a  mistake  in  the 
application  of  this  principle;  viz.,  while 
her  children  are  learning  the  arts  of 
walking  and  talking.  Mark  the  feeble, 
staggering,  and  awkward  exhibition  of 
that  little  girl  in  her  first  attempts  to 
walk  ;  and  her  half-uttered  sounds,  sylla 
bles,  and  words,  as  she  attempts  to  ex 
press  her  rude  thoughts  in  language. 
But  did  any  mother  ever  make  such  a 
mistake  as  to  scold  and  criticise  her 
little  daughter  for  tottering  to  fall ;  for 
her  awkwardness,  and  the  crookedness 
of  her  way;  or  for  her  stammering 


58  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

utterances?  Never:  encouragement  and 
praise  only  fall  from  her  lips.  Every  ex 
pression  of  her  countenance  and  every 
word  she  utters  indicate  her  excessive 
delight  in  the  efforts  and  success  of  her 
child.  She  knows  that  all  those  mistakes 
and  blunders  result  from  weakness  and 
inexperience,  and  will  in  due  time  be 
corrected. 

Why,  then,  cannot  that  mother  pursue 
the  same  course  in  the  general  manage 
ment  of  her  children?  Most  of  their 
imperfections  result  from  childish  weak 
ness,  as  really  as  in  walking  and  talking. 
Let  her  commend  their  struggles  to  over 
come  temptations,  and  speak  gently  and 
kindly  of  their  faults,  with  the  assurance 
that  time  and  experience  will  do  much 
to  correct  them.  Develop  the  good,  and 
the  evil  will  die  out  from  neglect.  This 
principle  is  of  universal  application. 

Consider  another  point;    viz.,   the  ac- 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  59 

tivity  of  children,  —  the  only  examples 
of  u  perpetual  motion"  yet  discovered. 
Whence  this  restlessness?  It  comes  from 
the  earth,  the  air,  and  the  sun,  —  the 
great  source  of  vitality  discoverable  in 
animal  and  vegetable  life.  This  force  is 
u  pent  up  "  in  children,  and  is  as  neces 
sary  to  their  vitality  and  growth  as 
breathing  is  to  their  existence.  It  must 
be  liberated,  and  for  the  most  part  in 
aimless  activity,  frolic,  and  mischief. 
Why,  then,  censure  or  punish  the  child 
for  his  restlessness?  He  has  no  ability 
to  keep  still,  and  it  is  an  absolute  wrong 
to  attempt  to  repress  his  activity.  Phys 
ical  development  and  health,  and  even 
mental  growth  and  vigor,  depend  upon 
it.  Parents  should  understand  these 
laws,  and  adapt  the  treatment  of  their 
children  to  this  demand  of  their  nature. 
"Fun  and  frolic"  are  essential  to  child 
hood,  and  should  be  encouraged  and 


60  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

controlled,    rather   than    restrained    and 
rebuked. 

I  have  said  that  filial  obedience  is  not 
instinctive,  but  the  result  of  education. 
It  is  also  true  that  reason  and  judgment 
are  not  early  developed.  The  mother 
will  be  disappointed  if  she  expects  her 
child  to  render  spontaneous  obedience  to 
her  commands,  or  that  he  will  judge  cor 
rectly  as  to  the  safety  or  propriety  of  his 
own  actions.  He  never  judges  that  it 
is  best  to  do  what  his  own  inclinations 
disapprove.  He  is  not  inclined  to  take 
medicine,  and  cannot  be  argued  into  the 
belief  that  it  is  best  for  him  to  do  so. 
He  prefers  to  play  rather  than  go  to 
school ;  and  no  amount  of  reasoning  will 
convince  him  that  he  should  clwose  the 
latter.  He  has  formed  an  attachment  for 
unsafe  playmates  and  companions,  and 
.does  not  see  the  necessity  of  being  re 
moved  from  them.  His  judgment  is 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  61 

immature  and  unreliable,  and  hence 
should  not  be  appealed  to  in  such 
matters.  He  should  be  entirely  under 
parental  direction  and  control  during 
this  forming  period  of  life. 

Nor  can  we  expect  the  child  to  know 
any  thing  of  justice,  right,  and  duty, 
until  he  has  been  instructed  in  regard  to 
the  relations  and  obligations  of  human 
society.  To  illustrate :  Two  children  are 
playing  upon  the  floor,  and  find  a  toy 
which  both  very  much  desire.  Each  is 
governed  wholly  by  his  own  selfish 
wishes,  and  demands  that  toy  exclusively 
for  himself;  and  a  quarrel  is  at  once  in 
augurated.  But  are  these  children  in 
fault,  if  they  have  never  been  taught  the 
justice,  propriety,  and  duty  of  yielding 
to  each  other's  wishes,  and  gratifying 
each  other's  desires?  So  it  is  with  truth 
fulness.  Children  know  nothing  of  the 
desirableness  of  truth- telling,  or  the  wick- 


G2  THE  PARENTS   MANUAL. 

edness  of  falsehood,  unless  they  have 
been  taught  this  important  lesson.  How 
can  they  know  even  what  truth  is,  unless 
by  instruction  ? 

And  what  is  truth  to  the  child  ?  He 
is  delighted  with  his  newly-acquired 
power  of  expressing  ideas  of  external 
objects  by  the  use  of  words.  He  comes 
in  from  his  play,  and  says  to  his  mother, 
"Me  see  a  horse."  —  "  No,"  replies  the 
mother :  "  the  horses  are  all  out  of  doors. 
You  don't  see  a  horse  here  in  the  house." 
But  he  re-assures  her  by  a  repetition  of 
his  childish  expression.  Now,  is  that  a 
falsehood  ?  or  did  the  child  tell  the  truth  ? 
He  did  see  the  image  of  the  horse  formed 
from  the  reality  in  his  own  mind;  and 
was  not  that  a  reality  to  him  ? 

Further  to  illustrate :  The  little  boy  is 
about  to  join  his  brother  in  the  yard  to 
play,  and  takes  with  him  two  apples 
•which  his  mother  gives  him,  with  instruc- 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  63 

tion  to  share  them  with  his  brother.  He 
resolves,  as  he  goes  out,  to  divide  with 
him;  but  afterwards  changes  his  mind, 
and  eats  both  himself.  When  he  returns 
from  his  play,  his  mother  asks  the  boy  if 
he  gave  his  little  brother  the  apple ;  and 
he  replies  that  he  did !  And,  as  it  was 
in  his  thought  and  purpose  in  the  begin 
ning,  the  statement  was  true.  Applied 
to  the  act,  it  was  false.  But  how  can  the 
child,  without  more  instruction  and  ex 
perience,  be  expected  to  analyze  and 
distinguish  between  these  two  cases, 
and  especially  when  he  remembers,  that, 
only  the  day  before,  his  mother  told  him 
a  "  bear  story "  that  had  not  one  word 
of  truth  in  it  ?  Indeed,  what  is  the 
difference  between  the  imaginary  truths 
which  children  sometimes  tell  and  the 
imaginary  falsehoods  which  they  hear 
from  their  parents  or  read  in  their 
sabbath  -  school  books  or  other  fiction 


64  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

provided  for  them  by  professional  story 
tellers? 

This  view  of  the  subject  will,  at  least, 
teach  parents  to  deal  gently  and  patiently 
with  the  early  falsehoods  of  their  children, 
which  are  often  nothing  more  than  the 
fancies  of  their  imagination.  They  have 
no  right  to  expect  that  young  children 
will,  at  first,  understand  and  feel  the  ob 
ligation  to  speak  the  truth,  and  should  be 
all  the  more  in  earnest  and  faithful  in 
impressing  upon  their  tender  minds  these 
great  moral  lessons.  They  need  instruc 
tion  and  encouragement  more  than  severe 
rebuke  or  punishment.  Let  truthfulness 
be  commended,  and  the  pure  principles 
and  precepts  of  the  Holy  Bible  be 
brought  to  bear  upon  the  heart  and 
conscience  whenever  any  falseness  and 
wrong  has  been  discovered  in  the  con 
duct  of  the  child.  By  such  means,  both 
truth-telling  and  truth-loving  will  be  in- 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  65 

culcated,  until  they  shall  ripen  into 
habits  based  upon  settled  principles  of 
integrity,  and  shall  regulate  and  control 
the  life. 

I  will  here  repeat  a  fundamental  prin 
ciple  in  family  government ;  viz.,  parental 
authority  must  be  absolute.  The  only 
question  touching  this  point,  that  will 
admit  of  discussion,  is,  What  means  shall 
be  employed  to  establish  and  maintain 
this  authority?  I  have  argued  that  gen 
tle  measures,  if  early  and  wisely  em 
ployed,  would  always  accomplish  the 
object ;  that  dealing  properly  and  faith 
fully  with  the  mind  and  heart  of  the  child 
would  enable  the  parents  to  avoid,  for 
the  most  part,  the  necessity  of  inflicting 
physical  pain.  But  such  wisdom  and 
skill  are  not  the  birthright  of  all  parents ; 
nor  are  they  attainable  by  all.  Some 
lack  the  ability,  others  the  requisite 
knowledge,  and  still  others  firmness, 

6* 


66  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

patience,  and  perseverance,  in  the  use  of 
the  best  methods  of  family  government. 
As  a  consequence,  insubordination  reigns 
in  many  a  household.  Here  the  question 
returns  to  us,  Shall  parental  authority  be 
enforced?  I  answer,  unhesitatingly,  in 
the  affirmative.  It  must  be  maintained  by 
mildness  or  severity,  as  the  occasion  may 
demand.  Taking  families  as  we  find 
them,  corporal  punishment  is  sometimes 
not  only  proper,  but  absolutely  necessary ; 
and,  when  such  cases  occur,  the  punish 
ment  should  be  adapted  to  the  circum 
stances  of  the  case,  and  should  be 
promptly  and  faithfully  administered, 
not  as  "  a  last  resort,"  or  "an  evil  to  be 
deplored,"  but  as  an  appropriate  and 
saving  remedy.  It  should  never  be  in 
flicted  in  anger,  but  always  attended  and 
followed  by  kindness  and  sympathy. 
u  Solomon's  rod,"  which,  if  u  spared,"  will 
"  spoil  the  child,"  is  undoubtedly  a  sym- 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  67 

bol  of  authority,  as  the  sceptre  is  the 
symbol  of  power ;  but  the  right  and  duty 
to  establish  and  maintain  authority  im 
plies  the  right  and  duty  to  use  the  literal 
rod  when  necessary,  as  really  as  other 
and  milder  measures.  Those  parents 
accomplish  the  end  enjoined  by  the  pre 
cepts  of  Solomon  who  exercise  complete 
control  over  their  children,  either  with 
or  without  the  infliction  of  bodily  pain; 
and  those  who  fail  to  govern  "spoil " 
their  children,  however  freely  they  may 
use  the  rod. 

The  principle  here  laid  down  is,  that 
the  parent  must  govern,  and  the  child 
obey;  and,  if  obedience  is  refused,  it 
must  be  enforced.  It  is  unfortunate  that 
the  mother,  through  neglect  or  misman 
agement,  has  allowed  her  children  to 
grow  up  in  rudeness  and  insubordination ; 
and  that  the  father,  through  incapacity  or 
want  of  time,  has  failed  to  retain  control 


68  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

over  them.  As  the  result,  they  become 
more  and  more  ungovernable  in  the 
family;  will  carry  their  turbulent  spirit 
into  the  school  and  into  society ;  and  will, 
in  maturer  life,  defy  the  authority  of  the 
State  and  the  laws  of  God.  But  if  such 
habits  have  been  formed,  and  this  dis 
obedience  and  recklessness  cannot  be 
checked  except  by  harsh  measures,  every 
consideration  of  duty  as  parents,  and  of 
affection  and  interest  for  the  children, 
urges  this  severe  course  of  treatment. 

The  amputation  of  a  mortified  limb  is 
a  terrible  remedy ;  but  it  often  saves  life. 
The  importance  of  early  training,  to 
secure  obedience  by  gentle  means,  cannot 
be  over-estimated ;  but  if  this  duty  has 
been  neglected,  and  ill-temper  and  obsti 
nacy  in  maturer  life  have  brought  these 
children  into  collision  with  their  parents, 
they  must  be  conquered  and  subdued. 

Says  the  younger  Edwards  to  a 
friend,  — 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  69 

"  Remember,  there  is  but  one  mode  of  family  gov 
ernment.  I  have  brought  up  and  educated  fourteen 
boys,  two  of  "whom  I  brought  up,  or  rather  suffered  to 
grow  up,  without  the  rod.  One  of  these  was  my 
youngest  brother ;  the  other,  Aaron  Burr,  my  sister's 
only  son  (both  of  them  were  orphans  from  infancy). 
And,  from  my  observation  and  experience,  I  tell  you, 
sir,  '  maple-sugar  government '  will  never  answer. 
Beware  how  you  let  the  first  act  of  disobedience  in 
your  little  boys  go  unnoticed,  and,  unless  evidence  of 
repentance  be  manifest,  unpunished." 

A  practical  question  here  urges  itself 
upon  our  consideration.  Shall  the  child 
be  subdued  in  every  instance,  or  punished 
only  for  disobedience,  and  allowed  to  re 
tire  without  submission  ?  If  the  parent 
has  provoked  the  controversy,  —  as  may 
be  the  case  by  some  rash  or  unreasonable 
act  of  her  own,  — it  may  be  the  easiest  if 
not  the  best  way  to  solve  the  difficulty, 
to  regard  the  act  of  disobedience  as  final, 
and  punish  for  this  alone,  leaving  the 
command  out  of  the  question.  But  there 
is  danger  in  this  course,  even  in  such 


70  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

cases.  The  child  has  rebelled,  and  has 
been  punished  simply  for  disobedience. 
He  has  not  submitted :  his  punishment 
has  not  subdued  him.  Indeed,  he  has 
virtually  conquered  in  the  contest. 

The  parent  should  avoid,  with  great 
care,  every  unnecessary  provocation; 
should  see  to  it  that  her  commands  are 
reasonable,  and  are  given  in  the  right 
spirit;  and  then  she  may  insist  upon 
unconditional  and  immediate  obedience. 
If  this  is  refused,  she  should  proceed  to 
enforce  her  orders,  and  never  dismiss  the 
case  until  this  object  is  accomplished. 
No  definite  rule  can  be  given  as  to  the 
kind  and  degree  of  punishment  to  be 
inflicted  in  such  cases :  each  judicious 
mother  may  settle  that  question  for  herself. 
The  principle  is  unchangeable :  obedience 
must  be  rendered;  but  the  method  of  se 
curing  this  result  may  be  varied  by 
circumstances.  There  are  certain  kinds 


PARENTAL  EFFICIENCY.  71 

of  corporal  punishment,  however,  which 
are  never  proper  or  tolerable.  Among 
these  are  standing  or  sitting  for  a  long 
time  in  an  unnatural  position,  hold 
ing  weights  in  the  outstretched  hand, 
and  shaking  the  child  by  hold  upon 
his  shoulders.  Such  violence  threatens 
physical  injury,  and  therefore  is  wrong. 
When  severe  punishments  are  needed, 
they  should  be  adapted  to  the  circum 
stances  of  the  offence,  and  inflicted 
promptly,  deliberately,  and  so  thor 
oughly  that  a  repetition  will  not  be 
called  for. 


VI. 

CHARACTER  AND  HABITS, 

nnHE  character  and  habits  of  childhood 
are  the  results  of  family-training,  and 
they  will  re-appear  in  manhood.  Hence 
the  great  importance  of  parental  care 
and  solicitude  as  they  contemplate  their 
duty  from  this  stand-point.  The  child 
must  establish  a  character  of  integrity, 
and  be  trained  to  habits  of  honesty, 
benevolence,  and  industry,  or  he  will  be 
lost  to  himself  and  to  society.  And  yet 
how  many  parents  not  only  impart  no 
practical  lessons  to  aid  in  forming  this 
character  and  these  habits,  but,  by  their 
own  life  and  management,  encourage 
dishonesty,  selfishness,  and  indolence ! 

72 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  73 

They  practise  deception  in  dealing  with 
their  children,  and  thus  teach  them  to  be 
false.  They  make  promises  which  they 
never  fulfil,  threaten  punishments  which 
they  never  inflict,  and  sometimes  tell 
their  children  absolute  falsehoods  in  re 
gard  to  their  food,  medicine,  or  sports. 
They  do  not  realize  the  fact  nor  under 
stand  the  influence  of  such  treatment 
upon  the  heart  and  character  of  sus 
ceptible  childhood  ;  but  it  must  be 
disastrous.  Their  own  example  of  truth 
fulness  should  be  accompanied  by  posi 
tive  moral  lessons  drawn  from  life  and 
from  the  Scriptures  of  truth  touching 
this  subject  to  enforce  the  precepts  of 
honesty. 

Selfishness,  too,  is  often  encouraged 
and  cultivated  under  parental  example. 
We  niny  not  expect  benevolence  to 
spring  up  spontaneously  in  the  heart  of 
the  child.  It  is  a  plant  of  tender 


74  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

growth,  and  must  be  nourished  by 
divine  as  well  as  human  influence. 
Without  knowledge  and  experience, 
the  child  cannot  appreciate  the  rights 
and  wants  of  others,  nor  his  own  duty 
in  regard  to  them.  His  first  attention 
must  necessarily  be  directed  to  himself; 
and  the  natural  tendency  of  his  life  is 
to  form  selfish  habits.  To  counteract 
this  tendency,  and  to  cultivate  the  feel 
ing  and  habit  of  benevolence,  is  evi 
dently  an  important  duty  of  parents. 
Indeed,  it  is  through  parental  fidelity 
alone  that  the  divine  promise,  "  Train 
up  a  child  in  the  way  he  should  go,  and 
when  he  is  old  he  will  not  depart  from 
it,"  can  be  realized.  The  evil  contem 
plated  is  often  the  result  of  excessive 
care  and  indulgence.  If  all  the  wants 
of  the  child  are  anticipated,  and  every 
member  of  the  household  is  accustomed 
to  run  at  his  bidding,  the  u  little  dar- 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  75 

ling"  will  have  a  right  to  conclude  that 
he  is  the  most  important  person  on  the 
premises,  and  will  expect  and  demand 
unlimited  gratification.  So  indulged 
and  gratified,  the  habits  of  self-denial 
and  self-reliance,  which  are  indispensable 
to  success  and  happiness  in  life,  will  not 
be  formed;  nor  will  the  ear  be  trained 
to  listen  to  the  calls  of  mercy  and 
benevolence. 

HARMLESS  INDULGENCE. 

The  indulgence  of  children  in  every 
thing  that  is  harmless,  as  I  have  said,  is 
eminently  proper.  We  have,  therefore, 
only  to  distinguish  between  the  harmless 
and  harmful,  to  understand  and  avoid  the 
contemplated  evil.  Whatever  endangers 
life  is  harmful ;  and  hence  children  must 
not  be  indulged  in  eating  poison,  or 
playing  upon  the  margin  of  a  precipice. 
Whatever  endangers  health  is  harmful; 


76  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

and  hence  eating  at  improper  times,  in 
improper  quantities,  or  of  improper  food, 
and  especially  of  those  luxuries  which 
serve  only  to  gratify  a  perverted  appe 
tite,  should  never  be  allowed.  Whatever 
tends  to  deprave  the  moral  character,  or 
to  cultivate  and  strengthen  the  selfish 
propensities,  is  harmful ;  and  hence  "  evil 
communications,"  corrupting  literature, 
and  every  degrading  habit,  should  be 
strictly  prohibited. 

Our  cities  are  thronged  with  young 
men  from  the  country  who  are  on  the 
highway  to  ruin  through  want  of  self- 
restraint,  and  love  of  pleasure.  And 
where  and  how  were  these  victims  of 
dissipation,  lust,  and  crime,  trained?  I 
answer,  In  the  home  school  of  selfishness, 
and  under  the  instruction  of  their  own 
unwise  and  too-indulgent  parents.  The 
depraved  appetite  was  there  formed,  and 
the  selfish  passions  there  cherished  and 


CHARACTER   AND   HABITS.  77 

indulged.  Can  it  be  possible  that  the 
seed  sown  in  early  childhood,  and  wa 
tered  by  the  tears  and  warmed  by  the 
sunlight  of  parental  love,- has  sprung  up, 
grown,  and  ripened  into  such  a  fearful 
harvest?  It  is  even  so.  The  enemy 
u  sowed  tares "  while  the  divinely  or 
dained  guardians  of  the  home  "slum 
bered  and  slept." 

And  vanity,  another  form  of  selfish 
ness,  is  the  product  of  early  training,  and 
more  often  in  matters  of  dress.  How 
numerous  the  young  women  of  our  land 
who  have  become  the  victims  of  fashion 
and  folly  ;  who  disdain  solid  culture  and 
genuine  refinement ;  who  seek  their  great 
est  enjoyment  in  the  gay  assembly,  at 
places  of  amusement,  and  over  the  latest 
and  most  exciting  novel ;  and  who,  with 
distorted  views  of  life,  judge  of  merit  by 
the  false  standard  of  wealth  and  social  po 
sition  !  They  too  often  ignore  superior  tal- 


7* 


78  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

ents  and  high  attainments  unless  decked 
in  the  splendor  which  money  can  pur 
chase.  Such  vanity  and  selfishness  can 
plead  no  apology,  and  can  find  no  cure. 
But  who  has  distilled  such  wasting  folly 
into  the  minds  of  these  daughters  ?  Was 
it  not  the  mother's  example  and  precept 
that  first  gave  her  little  girl  a  fondness 
for  dress,  and  an  admiration  for  fashion 
able  display,  which,  in  her  riper  years, 
occupy  all  her  time  and  thoughts  ?  Chil 
dren  should  be  tastefully  and  neatly 
dressed,  and  should  acquire  a  love  for 
the  beautiful  in  nature  and  art ;  but  they 
should  be  taught,  at  the  same  time,  the 
proper  use  of  apparel,  and  the  great  ex 
cellence  of  moral  and  intellectual  attain 
ments  to  elevate  and  adorn  female 
character.  If  properly  taught  and  man 
aged  through  the  period  of  girlhood, 
they  will  become  women  who  may  have 
wealth  and  culture  without  being  proud 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  79 

and  vain ;  who  may  become  fashionable 
in  the  true  sense  of  that  term,  and  yet 
judge  themselves  and  others  by  the  ap 
proved  standard  of  excellence. 

EMULATION. 

Selfishness  in  the  child  is  developed 
also  through  emulation.  We  must  here 
distinguish  between  the  good  and  the 
bad  in  the  application  of  this  principle. 
Emulation  that  seeks  excellence  and  dis 
tinction  for  their  own  sake,  and  for  the 
advantages  they  bring  to  their  possessor, 
is  commendable.  It  implies  a  strong  de 
sire  for  superiority ;  but  it  has  honor  for  its 
basis,  and  a  desire  for  greater  usefulness. 
Hence  Dryden  says  with  propriety,  — 

"  A  noble  emulation  heats  your  breast/' 

But,  when  competition  degenerates  into 
rivalry,  it  engenders  envy,  resentment, 
and  detraction,  and  seeks  only  self-grati- 


80  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

fication.  The  former  aims  to  merit  suc 
cess:  the  latter  is  satisfied  to  obtain  it. 
An  appeal  to  this  principle  in  the  family 
or  school  usually  awakens  only  an  en 
vious  and  selfish  ambition.  And  hence 
the  offering  of  prizes  to  the  one  who 
shall  excel  all  others  in  a  given  task  is 
open  to  serious  objections.  Such  a  prize 
is  not  a  reward  of  merit,  but  of  success, 
which  is  often  gained  through  superior 
ability  or  superior  advantages,  and  at 
the  expense  of  every  noble  and  generous 
feeling.  This  kind  of  emulation  may 
secure  to  one  or  two  of  a  class  a  higher 
order  of  attainments ;  but  this  is  frequent 
ly  gained  at  the  sacrifice  of  that  gener 
ous  sympathy  and  true  manliness  which 
are  the  only  sure  guaranty  of  future  suc 
cess  and  usefulness.  The  many  who  have 
made  the  greater  effort,  and  are  really 
more  deserving,  are  wronged,  and  the 
successful  competitor  is  always  ,  injured 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  81 

more  than  benefited  by  such  promotion. 
Pride  and  selfishness,  under  such  training, 
soon  become  the  ruling  passion  of  his 
heart.  Hence  I  would  say  to  parents, 
as  I  have  said  to  teachers,  Let  all  prizes 
offered  to  children  be  based  upon  real 
merit ;  and  let  them  be  given  to  all  the 
deserving,  instead  of  one. 

Again:  selfishness  sometimes  degen 
erates  into  dishonesty,  which  manifests 
itself  in  the  little  business  transactions 
among  children.  A  favorite  son,  for 
instance,  boasts  that  he  has  u  got  the 
best  end  of  the  bargain  "  in  exchanging 
knives  or  pencils  with  his  playmates; 
and  his  doting  father  smiles  approvingly 
upon  his  success,  and  marks  this  act  of 
shrewdness  as  evidence  of  special  busi 
ness  talent.  The  boy  has  had  the  exam 
ple,  it  may  be,  of  his  father  and  of  his 
father's  neighbors,  and  has  observed  that 
overreaching  is  the  common  habit  of 


82  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

many  in  society  in  the  transactions  of 
e very-day  life  ;  and  why  may  he  not 
practise  sharpness,  and  be  commended 
for  it?  If  petty  fraud  is  so  common 
among  men,  why  may  not  their  sons  follow 
their  example,  and  learn  the  art  of  trade 
thus  early?  Is  it  strange  that  we  so 
often  read  of  theft  and  forgery,  and 
peculations  from  government,  and  em 
bezzlements  from  bank  and  railroad  cor 
porations,  when  so  many  of  our  youth 
are  trained  in  the  school  of  selfishness 
from  early  childhood  ?  Whatever  we  de 
sire  to  have  expressed  in  the  nation's  life 
must  be  taught  to  our  children  both  by 
example  and  precept.  And  what  so  im 
portant  as  strict  integrity  and  benevo 
lence,  in  distinction  from  dishonesty  and 
selfishness?  But  these  habits,  also,  must 
be  formed  under  faithful  family  training, 
if  they  are  to  appear  in  practical  life. 
They  are  based  upon  the  golden  -rule  of 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  83 

Christianity,  "  Thou  shalt  love  thy  neigh 
bor  as  thyself;  "  and  in  this  loving  and 
doing  for  others  "there  is  great  reward.17 
It  is  not  in  receiving  benefits  from  our 
fellow-men  or  from  God  that  we  experi 
ence  the  greatest  happiness,  but  in  labor 
ing  for  their  good,  and  in  the  exercise  of 
the  benevolent  spirit.  And  this  impor 
tant  lesson  can  be  easily  impressed  upon 
the  tender  hearts  of  children  by  teach 
ing  them  to  share  their  food  and  play 
things  with  each  other.  Unfortunate  is 
that  mother  who  has  only  one  child  to 
train  for  her  country  and  her  God ; 
unfortunate  indeed  is  that  child  who  has 
no  brothers  or  sisters  to  call  forth  his 
generous  sympathies  and  self-denying 
actions.  He  may,  on  this  very  account, 
grow  up  a  u  spoiled  child "  through 
selfish  indulgence.  But  that  child  who 
has  learned  this  important  lesson  in 
early  life  may  have  begun  a  journey 


84  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

across  the  continent,  or  a  voyage  across 
the  ocean,  to  carry  civilization  and  Chris 
tianity  to  the  destitute  and  needy. 

INDUSTBY. 

To  the  same  end,  children  should  be 
trained  to  habits  of  industry.  u  The  idle 
brain  is  the  Devil's  work-shop."  And 
this  is  not  all :  industry  rightly  under 
stood  and  directed  calls  into  exercise 
the  benevolent  feelings.  Children  should 
be  taught  to  work  voluntarily  and  cheer 
fully,  and  for  the  sake  of  helping  their 
parents  and  doing  good  to  all  around 
them.  And  this  helpful  service  may  be 
rendered  still  more  extensively,  as  op 
portunity  offers,  by  earning  money,  not 
to  be  spent  for  their  own  gratification, 
but  to  enable  them  to  contribute  of 
their  own  means  for  the  relief  of  suf 
fering  humanity.  To  forget  self,  and 
love  others,  is  Godlike ;  and  tins  is  a 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  85 

very  important   lesson   for  childhood  to 
learn. 

How  instructive  the  answer  of  our 
Saviour  to  the  bigoted  Jews  who  sought 
to  slay  him  because  he  wrought  miracles 
on  the  sabbath  day !  —  "  My  Father  work- 
eth  hitherto,  and  I  work."  The  "  Father 
worketh."  Prompted  by  infinite  love, 
he  works  for  the  welfare  of  his  creatures ; 
and  it  is  only  through  the  working  of 
his  power  that  his  love  is  manifested. 
Christ  worked  to  relieve  the  suffering 
poor,  to  comfort  the  afflicted,  to  bind  up 
the  broken  heart,  and  to  breathe  into  the 
benighted  soul  conscious  of  sin  and  guilt 
the  sunlight  of  hope,  joy,  and  blessed 
ness.  And  he  is  our  example.  The 
spirit  he  manifested,  and  the  lessons  he 
taught,  should  be  imparted  to  our  chil 
dren,  that  they  may  become  co-workers 
with  him  in  the  world's  elevation  and 
redemption.  For  the  want  of  such  train- 


86  THE  PARENTS'    MANUAL. 

ing,  how  many  young  men  of  our  day 
are  spending  their  lives  in  indolence,  and 
wasting  their  energies  both  of  body  and 
mind  in  useless  or  ruinous  indulgence ! 
And  how  many  young  women,  lost  to 
every  noble  sentiment  and  aim  in  life, 
spend  their  years  in  the  cold  formalities 
of  etiquette,  in  frivolous  gossip  among 
their  equals,  and  in  dressing  and  pleasure- 
seeking!  Let  parents,  if  they  can,  esti 
mate  the  consequences  of  such  habits  to 
their  children  and  to  the  world,  and  they 
will  have  a  measure  of  their  own  remiss- 
ness  in  neglecting  duties  so  important. 

GOOD  MANNERS. 

The  family  should  also  be  a  school  of 
good  manners.  Manners  and  morals  are 
intimately  connected.  One  is  the  coun 
terpart  of  the  other,  and  both  are  indis 
pensable  to  constitute  the  true  man  or 
woman.  To  quote  an  illustration  ,which 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  87 

I  have  employed  in  another  work, 
u  Morals  are  the  basis  of  human  charac 
ter  ;  and  manners  are  its  decorations, 
which  serve  to  make  it  more  attractive 
and  lovely.  Morals  are  the  staple  of 
human  laws,  and  the  regulators  of  human 
governments ;  and  refined  manners  serve 
as  gildings  to  make  laws  more  effective, 
and  government  more  secure."  And, 
while  I  urge  the  necessity  of  training 
children  to  habits  of  integrity  and  virtue, 
I  claim  that  it  is  also  the  duty  of  parents 
to  give  special  attention  to  their  manners. 
It  is  a  mistaken  notion  that  morality,  or 
even  piety,  alone,  will  so  far  regulate 
the  conduct  that  social  culture  will  be 
unnecessary.  How  often  do  we  have 
occasion  to  regret  the  lack  of  refinement 
in  those  whose  characters  we  admire !  and 
all  the  more  do  we  pity  them  because 
of  their  generosity  and  goodness.  Such 
persons  would  not  violate  the  laws  of 


88  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

good  breeding,  if  they  knew  it;  but,  to 
their  sorrow,  they  have  learned  that 
canons  of  etiquette  are  not  found  in 
creeds  and  codes  of  Christian  morals. 
They  are  liable  to  come  to  our  table 
with  u  dirty  nails,"  or  to  a  mop  their 
foreheads"  with  their  napkins;  and  yet 
they  would  be  utterly  ignorant  that  they 
had  given  offence  by  so  doing. 

Good  manners  must  be  taught  in  the 
family,  both  by  precept  and  example,  if 
we  expect  our  children  to  become  true 
gentlemen  and  ladies,  fitted  to  mingle  in 
refined  society.  It  is  not  sufficient  oc 
casionally  to  tell  them  how  they  should 
behave,  and  to  rebuke  them  for  some 
grave  offence.  They  must  be  trained  to 
habits  of  politeness  with  as  much  care 
as  to  habits  of  obedience  and  integrity. 
No  father  would  expect  his  son  to  un 
derstand  practical  engineering  without 
much  study  and  practice.  No  mother 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  89 

expects  her  daughter  to  become  a  skil 
ful  pianist  without  critical  instruction 
and  long-continued  recitations.  And  how 
absurd  to  suppose  that  gracefulness  of 
manners  can  be  acquired  by  hearing  the 
rules  of  good  behavior,  or  reading  manu 
als  of  etiquette !  But  many  children  do 
not  enjoy  even  these  privileges.  They 
grow  up  entirely  ignorant  of  the  first 
principles  of  politeness;  and,  when  com 
pelled  to  go  into  society,  they  experience 
painful  embarrassment  in  consequence  of 
their  deficiency.  This  is  not  their  fault ; 
but  it  is  none  the  less  the  source  of  their 
torture. 

In  other  families  the  theory  of  civility 
may  be  taught,  and  rudeness  sometimes 
rebuked ;  and  yet  the  laws  of  politeness 
are  practically  disregarded. 

To  illustrate :  The  mother  goes  out  to 
make  an  evening  call,  and  takes  with  her 
a  little  son;  and  she  is  mortified  to  see 

8* 


90  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

him  standing  in  the  hall  with  his  hat  on, 
conversing  with  the  lady  of  the  house ; 
and  she  rebukes  him  severely  for  his 
rudeness.  Now,  if  this  mother  had  re 
quired  her  son  to  uncover  his  head  when 
ever  he  came  into  her  presence,  would 
he  have  been  guilty  of  such  a  mistake  ? 
The  children  carry  their  home  habits  into 
society.  If  the  little  daughter  has  been 
required  to  practise  civility  in  her  inter 
course  with  the  family,  she  will  not  fail 
to  make  a  graceful  salutation  when  she 
meets  the  stranger  at  a  public  party. 
To  secure  these  desirable  results,  there 
must  be  constant  home-training  in  the 
art  of  good  behavior;  and  this  children 
have  a  right  to  expect  and  demand  of 
their  parents.  They  must  be  taught  how 
to  enter  and  leave  a  room ;  how  to 
bow,  walk,  turn,  sit,  rise;  how  to  intro 
duce  people  to  each  other ;  how  to  be 
have  at  the  table;  and,  in  a  wc^d,  how 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  91 

to  conduct  themselves  under  the  varied 
circumstances  of  life.  Then  will  they  be 
fitted  for  access  to  refined  society,  and  to 
come  under  the  influence  and  instruction 
of  the  wise  and  cultivated. 

But  some  maintain  that  the  cultiva 
tion  of  habits  of  courtesy  tends  to  make 
children  affected;  and  affectation,  they 
say,  is  more  offensive  than  awkwardness. 
"  Children  must  be  allowed  to  be  nat 
ural"  But  it  is  natural  for  some  children 
to  eat  greedily,  and  with  their  knives, 
at  the  table,  and  entirely  to  neglect  their 
superiors.  Others  are  naturally  inclined 
to  slouch  into  the  presence  of  strangers 
with  their  heads  covered,  to  speak  in  a 
loud  and  boorish  manner,  to  use  the 
parlor  as  if  it  were  a  gymnasium,  and  to 
interrupt  and  contradict  their  parents 
when  conversing  with  visitors.  Should 
such  natural  habits  be  tolerated,  or  cor 
rected?  But,  under  faithful  early  train- 


92  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 


ing,  children  become  civil  and  courteous 
without  being  affected. 


SELF-RELIANCE. 

I  have  alluded  to  the  importance  of 
self-reliance  as  a  practical  habit  in  life. 
It  cannot  be  over-estimated;  nor  will 
parents  be  likely  to  give  this  thought 
too  much  prominence  in  the  training  of 
their  children. 

Helplessness  and  dependence  are  con 
ditions  of  infancy  and  childhood ;  but  chil 
dren  cannot  always  lean  upon  parental 
arms.  They  must  be  taught  self-reliance. 
The  child,  at  first,  has  no  confidence 
in  his  own  ability  to  walk.  He  totters 
and  falls  because  he  does  not  trust  his 
own  strength  to  sustain  him.  Hence 
the  mother  holds  his  outstretched  hand, 
and  leads  him  to  his  destined  goal;  or 
he  leans  upon  a  chair  by  which  he  has 
learned  to  measure  his  doubtful '  steps. 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  93 

Now,  how  docs  the  mother  teach  her  dar 
ling  to  walk  ?  Not  by  giving  him  more 
strength,  but  by  teaching  him  self-reli 
ance.  He  must  learn  to  walk  by  walk 
ing  ;  and  after  a  few  trials,  with  proper 
assistance,  he  is  left  in  the  middle  of  the 
floor,  and  encouraged  to  come  to  his 
mother's  arms.  No  matter  if  he  cries 
for  help :  he  must  not  be  assisted.  No 
matter  if  he  tumbles  :  the  effort  will 
give  him  confidence,  and  this  confidence 
will  give  him  success.  In  a  similar  man 
ner  he  must  be  taught  to  take  care  of 
his  own  person,  to  provide  for  his  own 
wants,  and  to  depend  upon  his  own 
efforts  for  the  accomplishment  of  every 
desirable  object. 

It  is  the  special  duty  of  parents  to 
cultivate  the  habit  of  self-reliance  in 
their  children  in  every  thing  relating  to 
active  life.  If  they  fail  in  this  in  any 
instance,  the  child's  education  is  necessa- 


94  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

rily  defective,  and  his  future  success  will 
be  doubtful. 

Circumstances,  however,  sometimes  do 
for  children  what  parents  have  failed  to 
do.  They  are  born  in  honest  poverty, 
and  trained  in  the  school  of  industry. 
Their  straitened  circumstances  have  com 
pelled  them  to  form  the  very  habits  upon 
which  success  depends.  Such  parents 
often  envy  their  more  wealthy  neighbors, 
and  lament  that  they  cannot  furnish  their 
own  children  the  means  of  personal  grati 
fication  and  the  aid  which  many  of  their 
associates  enjoy.  But  what  facts  does 
the  history  of  these  families  reveal  ?  Often 
the  children  of  poverty  succeed,  while 
those  reared  under  the  influence  of  wealth 
fail.  And  why  ?  I  answer,  Because  the 
poor  man's  sons  are  compelled  to  form 
habits  of  industry,  self-reliance,  and  econ 
omy,  and  early  to  shift  for  themselves; 
while  those  who  inherit  riches  sometimes 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  95 

live  in  indolence  and  luxury  which  result 
in  dissipation,  or  in  helplessness  and  de 
pendence.  Our  country  could  furnish 
many  living  illustrations  of  this  truth. 
Every  neighborhood,  every  public  insti 
tution,  and  every  profession,  has  its  ex 
amples. 

But  there  are  noble  exceptions  to  this 
rule,  where  children  improve  their  easy 
circumstances  to  secure  a  higher  degree 
of  self-culture,  and  to  gain  a  higher  posi 
tion  in  life.  The  necessities  of  poverty, 
if  accompanied  by  integrity  and  virtue, 
may  prove  a  greater  blessing  to  a  fam 
ily  of  children  than  the  possession  of 
wealth ;  and  yet  the  children  of  wealthy 
parents  should  be  so  trained  in  early 
life,  that  their  money  will  not  prove  a 
temptation  to  indolence,  but  an  incen 
tive  and  aid  to  greater  industry  and 
more  noble  efforts. 


96  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

SELF-CULTURE. 

Again :  self-reliance  is  indispensable  to 
self-culture,  which  is  the  only  condition 
of  intellectual  and  moral  growth.  All 
available  instruction  is  drawn  from  the 
child's  own  resources.  True  education  is 
not  imparted,  but  self-produced.  It  re 
sults  from  the  exercise  of  the  powers  to 
be  developed.  And  this  work  begins,  not 
in  the  school,  but  in  the  mother's  arms ; 
and  success  or  failure  depends  much 
upon  her  training.  To  call  forth  arid 
direct  the  energies  of  mind  and  soul  is 
her  special  work.  Activity  is  the  control 
ling  agency,  and  growth  and  progress 
the  sure  results.  Coleridge  once  said, 
u  There  is  no  standing  still  with  the  mind  : 
if  it  is  not  rising  upward  to  become  an 
angel,  it  is  sinking  downward  to  become 
a  devil."  With  what  care,  therefore, 
should  this  mental  and  moral  activity  be 
directed !  The  elements  of  true  manhood 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  97 

and  womanhood  are  inborn ;  but  they  can 
be  developed  only  by  culture.  Self-help 
and  self-reliance  are  both  the  means 
and  the  conditions  of  success  in  life. 
Knowledge  does  not  spring  from  intui 
tion.  The  mind  is  not  merely  a  recepta 
cle  into  which  the  lore  of  the  schools  can 
be  poured,  but  an  activity  to  cull  out 
and  appropriate  whatever  is  valuable  in 
books,  lectures,  social  intercourse,  and 
the  voice  of  the  living  teacher.  These 
rouse  the  intellect  to  action,  and  develop 
its  latent  energies.  Now,  the  thought 
to  be  emphasized  in  this  connection  is, 
that  education  is  a  process  of  self-devel 
opment,  which  should  be  encouraged  by 
parents  to  the  extent  of  their  ability. 
Children  should  be  required  to  do  their 
own  thinking,  and  to  draw  their  own  in 
ferences.  They  should  be  told  but  little, 
but  induced  to  discover  as  much  as 
possible.  They  should  solve  their  own 


98  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

problems,  and  be  instructed  only  as  to 
how  to  apply  themselves  to  the  work. 
Outside  help  weakens  the  power  of  self- 
instruction.  It  is  the  business  of  the 
mother  and  teacher  to  guide  the  intellect 
to  its  appropriate  food,  to  awaken  its 
appetites,  and  fix  the  attention.  In  this 
way  the  child  may  be  early  taught  the 
lesson  of  self-reliance,  and  habituated  to 
the  work  of  successful  self-culture. 

PRACTICAL  LIFE. 

And  our  children  must  be  trained  for 
the  practical  duties  of  the  business  world. 
If  they  live,  the  time  is  not  far  distant 
when  they  must  shift  for  themselves. 
To  insure  success,  they  must  acquire 
habits  of  integrity,  prudence,  and  econo 
my  ;  they  must  learn  the  value  and 
proper  uses  of  money,  and  must  become 
self-reliant  and  industrious.  And  it  is 
evident  that  home  -  training  ^flust  be 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  99 

chiefly  relied  upon  for  the  needed  instruc 
tion  and  discipline.  Hence  the  money 
question,  in  the  management  of  children, 
may  be  properly  discussed  in  this  connec 
tion.  Children,  like  older  persons,  desire 
what  money  will  purchase ;  and  the  prac 
tical  question  is,  To  what  extent  and  in 
what  manner  shall  they  be  gratified? 
The  only  way  for  them  to  learn  the 
use  of  money,  either  for  their  present  or 
future  benefit,  is  by  using  it. 

How,  then,  shall  our  children  be  taught 
practically  the  important  principles  of 
political  economy?  The  more  common 
way  of  furnishing  them  money  is  to  give 
only  when  they  ask  for  it,  and  in  quanti 
ties  determined  by  the  frequency  and  im 
portunity  of  their  calls.  Let  us  inquire 
how  this  method  operates  in  a  practical 
way.  If  the  boy  finds  that  he  can  be 
gratified  only  through  importunity  and 
servility,  he  will  soon  lose  all  feelings  of 


100  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

delicacy  and  manly  pride  in  business- 
matters.  'He  will  learn  to  gain  his  ob 
ject  through  artfulness  and  pertinacity, 
and  will  have  little  inducement  to  take 
care  of  his  money,  to  form  plans  of  ex 
penditure,  or  to  practise  self-denial.  The 
amount  to  be  obtained  does  not  depend 
upon  his  frugality  or  financial  skill,  but 
upon  his  coaxing  and  persistency.  Hence 
the  tendency  of  this  fitful  and  uncertain 
method  of  obtaining  money  is  to  foster 
the  growth  of  all  the  ignoble  propensities 
of  the  boy's  nature,  and  to  discourage 
the  cultivation  of  his  better  qualities. 
I  may,  therefore,  venture  here  to  suggest 
ua  more  excellent  way."  Let  parents 
fix  upon  a  definite  sum  of  money  to  be 
given  to  the  child  at  stated  times.  It 
may  be  a  weekly  or  monthly  allowance, 
of  such  an  amount  as  is  thought  best  for 
the  child  to  control.  This  should  always 
be  promptly  paid,  and  left  entirely  at 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  101 

the  disposal  of  the  party  receiving  it. 
Prompt  payments  by  parents  tend  to  cul 
tivate  the  same  habit  in  children ;  and 
giving  them  control  of  their  own  money 
enables  the  parents  to  instruct  them,  and 
to  train  them  from  their  earliest  years,  to 
habits  of  forecast,  thrift,  economy,  and 
benevolence.  They  must  be  taught  to 
distinguish  between  the  useful  and  the 
injurious,  and  encouraged  to  spend  their 
money  only  for  what  is  harmless  or  really 
beneficial,  for  their  own  gratification ;  and 
to  contribute  to  the  relief  of  the  suffering 
and  needy,  remembering  that  u  it  is  more 
blessed  to  give  than  to  receive." 

It  is  sometimes  objected  that  this 
method  of  furnishing  money  to  children 
leads  them  to  regard  these  regular  pay 
ments  as  debts,  instead  of  gifts,  from  their 
parents,  and  hence  they  are  liable  to  lose 
all  feelings  of  obligation ;  but  it  is  not 
necessarily  so.  This  systematic  arrange- 

9* 


102  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ment  does  not  prevent  occasional  gifts  as 
rewards  of  merit,  or  expressions  of  paren 
tal  affection.  The  object  to  be  gained  is 
the  cultivation  of  correct  habits  in  the 
use  of  money  and  in  business-life  more 
than  the  winning  of  affection.  Besides, 
the  bestowing  of  too  many  gifts  upon 
children  results  in  the  cultivation  of  self 
ishness  instead  of  love  and  a  sense  of 
obligation.  This  should  be  avoided. 

I  will  here  allude  to  a  modification  of 
the  method  of  furnishing  money  to  chil 
dren  above  recommended,  which  may 
be  still  better.  Instead  of  giving  the 
money  at  stated  periods,  let  parents  open 
an  account  with  their  children,  or  estab 
lish  a  savings-bank  where  they  can  deposit 
their  money  for  safe  keeping.  Let  each 
one  have  a  separate  book  of  suitable  size, 
and  properly  ruled,  in  which  the  weekly 
allowance  is  to  be  credited,  and  all 
sums  which  the  child  desires  to  draw 


CHARACTER  AND  HABITS.  103 

be  charged.  This  obviates  the  necessity 
of  prompt  payments,  and  enables  chil 
dren  early  to  become  acquainted  with 
business  forms,  and  habituated  to  the 
management  of  their  own  affairs,  in  a  sys 
tematic  manner;  and  after  a  short  time, 
and  with  proper  instruction,  they  can 
keep  their  own  books,  and  transact  their 
own  business.  In  this  way  parents 
really  open  with  their  children  a  kind  of 
savings-bank,  encouraging  them  to  allow 
to  remain  on  interest  the  larger  part  of 
their  income,  adding  interest  to  principal, 
until  enough  has  accumulated  to  make 
some  profitable  investment  for  the  dis 
tant  future.  Thus  will  something  be 
saved,  and  such  business  habits  formed 
as  will  tend  to  secure  success  in  maturer 
life.  Under  proper  instructions,  and 
after  limited  practice,  these  children  will 
need  but  little  dictation  or  restraint  as 
to  the  manner  of  spending  or  investing 


104  THE  PARENTS1   MANUAL. 

their  money.  They  will  form  a  correct 
judgment,  and  acquire  an  accuracy  and 
self-reliance  which  will  be  invaluable  to 
them.  Better  allow  them  to  make  some 
blunders,  to  be  corrected,  than  to  deprive 
them  of  the  benefit  of  the  discipline.  We 
may  be  as  generous  as  we  please  with 
our  children ;  but  all  business  with  them 
should  be  transacted  with  promptness 
and  accuracy,  in  a  business-like  ivay. 
Thus  may  we  hope  to  prepare  them  for 
success  and  usefulness  in  riper  years. 


VII. 
RELIGIOUS  TRAINING. 

vast  importance  of  religious 
training  for  our  children  must  not, 
for  a  moment,  be  lost  sight  of.  I  urge 
this  point,  not  only  in  view  of  the  per 
sonal  relations  of  these  children  to  so 
ciety,  but  in  view  of  their  own  duty  and 
happiness  in  their  eternal  relations  to 
God. 

It  is  conceded  by  all  that  morality  is  an 
indispensable  element  in  individual  or  na 
tional  character.  But,  without  religion, 
there  could  be  no  morality.  Religion 
takes  every  principle,  and  rule  of  morals, 
under  its  peremptory  sanction ;  and  every 
pure  precept  which  has  ever  been  incul- 

105 


106  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

cated,  either  by  infidels  or  Christians,  has 
had  one  common  origin,  —  the  inspired 
word  of  God. 

Infidelity  is  an  element  of  national 
decay.  The  State  could  hope  to  gain  no 
strength  in  the  future  from  an  army  of 
children  educated  exclusively  under  its 
influence.  Such  a  training  could  not  fit 
them  for  the  duties  of  citizenship  in  a 
Christian  community,  and  under  laws 
founded  upon  Christian  principles. 

The  elements  of  a  noble  manhood, 
which  develop  and  inspire  Christian  pa 
triotism,  are  not  inborn.  Benevolence, 
love  of  truth,  sobriety,  and  industry, 
spring  not  from  inclination  or  habit, 
but  result  from  the  teachings  and  regen 
erating  power  of  the  gospel.  Our  youth 
must  be  educated  under  its  influence, 
and  imbued  with  its  spirit,  if  we  may 
hope  for  the  prosperity  and  perpetuity 
of  the  republic. 


RELIGIOUS  TRAINING.  107 

The  religious  training  of  their  children 
is  the  first  duty  of  parents  ;  and  they 
must  take  this  work  into  their  own 
hands.  So  said  the  inspired  penman 
when  giving  the  Decalogue  to  the  Jews : 
"  And  these  words,  which  I  command 
thee  this  day,  shall  be  in  thy  heart ; 
and  thou  shalt  teach  them  diligently 
unto  thy  children,  and  shalt  talk  of  them 
when  thou  sittest  in  thy  house,  and  when 
thou  walkest  by  the  way,  and  when  thou 
liest  down,  and  when  thou  risest  up." 

And  a  still  higher  authority  enjoins 
upon  parents  the  same  great  duty: 
"  Suffer  little  children  to  come  unto  me" 
said  our  Saviour.  This  injunction  is  ad 
dressed  directly  to  all  fathers  and  moth 
ers  to  whose  care  have  been  committed 
"  little  children."  Now  is  the  time  when 
they  are  to  be  instructed  in  divine  things, 
and  when  they  are  to  be  suffered  and 
directed  to  come  to  Jesus,  the  great 


108  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

Teacher  and  Guide  of  sinful  men.  Their 
minds  are  just  opening  to  understand  the 
visible  and  invisible  things  which  are 
revealed ;  their  hearts  are  now  tender  and 
susceptible  of  durable  impressions;  and 
their  growing  life  is  waiting,  as  it  were, 
to  be  directed  by  the  loving  hand  of  the 
mother  into  the  path  of  duty,  peace,  and 
usefulness. 

The  personal  welfare  of  our  children 
recurs  for  our  consideration.  A  life  of 
virtue  and  piety  stands  opposed  to  a  life 
of  vice  and  crime.  The  former  is  a  life 
of  happiness ;  the  latter,  of  misery.  The 
one  leads  to  honor  and  usefulness;  the 
other,  to  disgrace  and  ruin.  And  no 
right-minded  parent  can  be  indifferent 
as  to  which  of  these  paths  his  children 
tread.  Vital  interests  are  involved  in 
this  question,  when  contemplated  only 
from  a  worldly  stand-point;  and  when 
we  admit  the  doctrine  of  a  future  and 


RELIGIOUS  TRAINING.  109 

endless  life,  of  which  the  present  is  but 
an  introduction,  and  for  which  it  is  a 
preparation,  the  subject  assumes  a  fearful 
importance.  The  duty  of  parents,  in 
obedience  to  the  divine  injunction,  to 
teach  the  great  truths  of  Christianity  dili 
gently  unto  their  children,  now  becomes 
imperative  and  imposing. 

And  what  truths  of  Christianity  are  so 
important  for  our  children  to  understand  ? 
I  answer,  first  of  all,  that  great  truth  in 
subordination  to  which  all  the  moral  pre 
cepts  of  the  Decalogue  are  proclaimed ; 
viz.,  that  there  is  one,  and  only  one,  great 
First  Cause,  who  is  the  source  of  all 
human  obligations,  and  the  only  object 
of  human  worship.  This  is  the  founda 
tion  of  all  revealed  truth.  Without  it 
human  life  is  a  desert,  shut  in  on  every 
side  by  an  impenetrable  horizon.  With 
out  this  truth,  man  knows  nothing  of 
his  origin,  and  nothing  of  his  end.  Let 


10 


110  THE  PARENTS1   MANUAL. 

parents,  therefore,  teach  this  to  their 
children,  with  all  the  accompanying  pre 
cepts,  so  well  calculated  to  regulate  hu 
man  conduct  and  inspire  human  hopes. 

And  u suffer"  the  little  children  to  come 
to  Jesus,  the  perfect  exemplification  of 
all  religious  truth.  Send  them  not  to 
the  schools  of  the  Pharisees  to  learn  les 
sons  of  morality,  dogmas,  and  creeds,  but 
to  Him  "who  teaches  as  never  man 
taught."  Induce  them  to  imitate  his 
example,  obey  his  precepts,  and  cherish 
his  spirit,  and  they  will  attain  to  a  higher 
morality,  a  purer  life,  and  more  exalted 
joys,  than  human  philosophy  has  ever 
taught.  The  yearning  tenderness  which 
has  flowed  from  the  words  and  deeds  of 
Christ  towards  "  little  children "  is  well 
calculated  to  call  forth  their  love,  and  win 
them  to  obedience. 

The  truth  of  God's  existence  and  attri 
butes  can  be  impressed  upon  the  minds 


RELIGIOUS  TRAINING.  Ill 

of  children  by  directing  their  attention 
to  the  visible  creation.  The  starry 
heavens  above  them  speak  of  his  good 
ness,  wisdom,  and  power;  the  wide  ex 
panse  of  living  verdure,  fertile  fields, 
shady  groves,  and  blooming  gardens, 
express  his  constant  love  and  bountiful 
care.  All  Nature  proclaims  a  God,  and 
invites  us  to  reverence  and  adore. 

Instruction  in  these  great  truths  must 
be  drawn  from  the  Holy  Bible.  We  can 
direct  our  children  to  no  other  fountain, 
can  give  them  no  other  guide  of  life,  and 
can  point  them  to  no  other  Saviour,  than 
is  herein  revealed.  Here  are  unfolded 
the  institutions  of  the  gospel,  the  means 
of  grace,  and  every  duty  that  man  owes 
to  his  fellow-man  and  to  God.  It  is  our 
special  duty,  therefore,  as  parents,  to  im 
press  upon  their  tender  minds  the  pure 
principles  drawn  from  these  sacred  pages. 

But  children  must  be   dealt  with   as 


112  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

children.  They  should  not  be  so  intro 
duced  to  the  theory  and  practice  of 
Christian  principles  and  observances  as 
to  be  repelled  and  disgusted :  they  should 
be  allured  to  the  delightful  paths  of  virtue 
and  piety. 

They  cannot  comprehend  the  unmean 
ing  technicalities  of  religion  ;  and  hence 
parents  should  not  read  to  them  homilies 
on  Christian  ethics  or  systematic  theol 
ogy.  The  truth  must  be  opened  to  their 
minds  through  their  own  channels  of 
thought  and  action.  Childhood  must  be 
amused.  Its  innocent  sports  are  its  very 
life  and  activity ;  and,  as  intimated  in 
another  connection,  this  activity  is  the 
only  condition  of  its  development  and 
growth.  Children,  therefore,  in  their 
freedom,  and  in  the  use  of  their  toys, 
obey  an  imperative  law  of  their  being. 
The  question  is,  How  far  in  their  religious 
culture  should  they  be  restrained  ?  The 


RELIGIOUS  TRAINING.  113 

sabbath  was  made  for  children  as  well  as 
for  men  and  women.  But  was  it  de 
signed  to  abridge  their  freedom,  and  cut 
off  all  their  enjoyments  ?  Must  all  their 
books  and  toys  be  laid  aside,  and  they  be 
subjected  to  a  formal  service  for  which 
they  have  no  taste,  and  in  which  they  can 
now  take  no  pleasure  ?  If  so,  the  sab 
bath  will  become  a  burden,  to  be  antici 
pated  with  dread,  and  endured  with 
impatience,  and  all  its  beneficial  influence 
worse  than  lost  to  these  children.  It 
must  follow,  therefore,  if  parents  would 
bring  their  children  under  a  wholesome 
religious  influence,  they  must  make  the 
sabbath  a  delight ;  must  adapt  its  duties 
to  their  nature ;  and  select  and  control 
their  amusements,  instead  of  suppressing 
them.  The  Divine  Master  delights  to 
see  " little  children"  happy  on  the  sab 
bath  as  well  as  on  week-days ;  and  must 

approve  of  their  freedom   and   childish 
10* 


114  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

glee,  if  only  it  can  be  tempered  and 
sweetened  by  a  holy  religious  influence. 
I  will  not  presume  to  specify  as  to  how 
these  desirable  results  can  be  secured, 
but  would  earnestly  enjoin  upon  all  par 
ents  who  seek  the  religious  welfare  of 
their  children,  as  far  as  possible,  to  make 
the  principles  and  precepts  of  our  holy 
religion  pleasant  and  attractive  to  them. 
"  And,  ye  fathers,  provoke  not  your  chil 
dren  to  wrath ;  but  bring  them  up  in  the 
nurture  and  admonition  of  the  Lord ;  " 
remembering  that  they  who  bequeath  to 
their  children  the  results  of  a  thorough 
Christian  education  endow  them  with 
riches  more  valuable  and  enduring  than 
silver  and  gold. 


VIII. 

INTELLECTUAL  COLTURE. 

"  'Tis  education  forms  the  common  mind  : 
Just  as  the  twig  is  bent,  the  tree's  inclined. 


nnilOSE  parents  make  a  grave  mistake 
who  rely  solely  upon  the  public 
school  for  the  mental  training  of  their 
children.  This  discipline  should  begin 
early  at  home,  and  under  the  most  care 
ful  supervision.  As  soon  as  the  child 
opens  his  eyes  and  puts  forth  his  little 
hands,  as  soon  as  his  senses  come  in 
contact  with  the  material  world,  the 
mind  begins  to  drink  in  knowledge,  and 
expand  by  means  of  its  own  activity. 
The  foundations  of  the  man's  education 
are  laid  mainly  in  the  home  of  his  child- 

115 


116  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

hood,  and  before  he  has  reached  the 
proper  school-age.  Faithful  early  home- 
training  is,  therefore,  of  the  utmost  im 
portance. 

"  Just  as  the  twig  is  bent,  the  tree's  inclined." 

Neglect  or  improper  instruction  in 
childhood  may  result  in  waste  and  fail 
ure  in  riper  years.  The  "twig"  must 
be  properly  "bent,"  that  the  tree  may  be 
developed  in  symmetrical  and  stately  pro 
portions.  The  growth  of  the  tree  results 
from  its  own  vitality  ;  but  the  shape  and 
direction  of  its  trunk  and  limbs  depend 
upon  its  trimming  and  training.  So  also 
in  education.  Self-culture  is  the  only 
means  of  sound  mental  development ; 
but  this  must  be  inspired,  directed,  and 
controlled,  during  childhood,  by  parental 
fidelity  and  wisdom. 

And  first  of  all,  and  mainly,  home- 
training  should  consist  in  the  discipline 
of  the  observing  faculties.  Books  are 


INTELLECTUAL   CULTURE.  117 

little  needed  at  this  period,  except  so  far 
as  they  may  aid  in  directing  attention 
to  the  real  objects  by  which  the  child  is 
surrounded,  and  in  explaining  their  quali 
ties  and  uses.  The  mind  of  the  child 
opens  upon  a  world  of  objects,  and  his 
education  must  impart  mainly  object-les 
sons. 

A  thirst  for  knowledge  is  inherent  in 
every  human  mind,  and  is  early  mani 
fested.  The  child  observes,  and  soon 
learns  to  distinguish  his  friends  and  bene 
factors  from  strangers.  He  watches  with 
intense  interest  every  motion  that  comes 
within  range  of  his  vision;  he  grasps 
every  solid  object  placed  within  his 
reach,  —  the  watch,  the  pencil,  the  knife, 
the  toy,  —  and  bears  it  to  his  mouth,  seem 
ingly  to  make  more  sure  the  knowledge 
of  its  peculiar  properties  by  the  aid  of 
two  senses  at  once ;  and,  as  soon  as  this 
child  has  gained  the  power  of  locomo- 


118  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

tion,  he  goes  in  search  of  objects  to  the 
extreme  limit  of  his  little  dominion. 
When  the  power  of  speech  is  gained,  he 
hastens  to  call  every  thing  by  its  proper 
name,  and  to  ask  endless  questions  as  to 
its  nature  and  utility. 

Here,  then,  is  the  parent's  opportunity 
to  commence  the  work  of  education. 
First,  it  is  the  instructor's  duty  to  remove 
from  reach  and  sight,  as  far  as  possible, 
all  objects  which  the  child  may  not  han 
dle  ;  secondly,  to  select  such  toys  for  the 
child's  use  as  are  proper  and  the  most 
interesting;  and,  finally,  to  be  ready  to 
answer  all  inquiries,  and  to  impart  such 
instruction  as  each  subject  will  admit. 
Another  important  thought  in  this  con 
nection,  —  the  child  should  have  the  ear 
nest  sympathy  of  the  parent  in  all  his 
efforts  to  gratify  curiosity  and  gain 
knowledge,  in  all  his  sports  and  games. 
The  parent  should  give  attention  when 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  119 

the  child,  delighted,  holds  up  his  new 
found  treasure:  he  should  smile  upon 
his  expressed  enthusiasm,  and  encourage 
his  search  for  truth.  Kind  looks  and 
gentle  words  have  a  magic  power  over 
the  mind  of  childhood  under  such  cir 
cumstances. 

Among  the  first  practical  lessons  to  be 
imparted  in  the  examination  of  the  objects 
which  occupy  the  attention  of  the  child 
are  the  names,  parts,  qualities,  and  uses 
of  these  objects.  For  illustration,  take 
the  object  dinner '-bell,  with  which  every 
child  is  familiar.  What  are  its  parts? 
It  has  a  handle,  tongue,  and  chain.  What 
are  its  qualities  ?  It  is  hard,  smooth,  and 
sonorous.  What  are  its  acts  ?  It  rings, 
strikes,  and  sounds.  What  are  its  uses  ? 
It  calls  to  dinner.  A  sheet  of  paper  is 
another  object.  Its  parts?  It  has  ends, 
edges,  surface,  and  lines.  Its  qualities? 
It  is  smooth,  limber,  and  pliable.  Its 


120  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

uses?  To  write  and  print  upon,  and 
make  books. 

Next  we  may  call  attention  to  the  idea 
of  number,  form,  size,  color,  and  weight. 
For  example,  take  the  object  cat.  The 
number  ?  one.  Its  size  ?  large.  Its  form  ? 
that  of  a  quadruped.  Its  color?  black. 
Its  weight?  ten  pounds.  Its  qualities? 
it  is  hairy,  smooth,  playful,  cunning.  Its 
use  ?  it  is  good  to  catch  mice.  Again : 
let  ~boy  be  the  object.  The  number? 
many.  Form  ?  like  a  man.  Size  ?  small. 
Color  ?  white.  Weight  ?  thirty  pounds. 

The  idea  of  size,  measurement,  and 
weight,  is  determined  by  comparison 
with  a  unit  of  measure ;  and  accuracy  in 
measuring  with  the  eye  is  acquired  only 
by  practice.  Then  give  the  child  a 
measure,  and  teach  him  its  use;  drill 
him,  at  every  opportunity,  to  judge  of  the 
bulk  and  distance  of  objects  around  him ; 
the  size  and  weight  of  a  stone ;  the  length, 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  121 

breadth,  and  height  of  the  table,  the  bu 
reau,  or  the  room  itself;  accustom  him 
to  distinguish  the  colors  of  the  different 
objects  that  meet  his  eye,  and  the  various 
sounds  that  greet  his  ear. 

Parents  may  next  open  to  their  children 
the  book  of  Nature,  and  trace  with  them 
its  ample  pages.  What  a  fruitful  field  for 
mental  culture  and  refinement  is  here 
spread  out  before  them !  —  the  heavens 
above,  with  their  rolling  planets  and  shin 
ing  stars ;  the  dew  that  collects  upon  the 
grass;  the  gently-falling  rain  that  dis 
tils  from  the  clouds;  the  frost,  ice,  and 
snow  which  appear  in  their  season ;  the 
storm  which  gathers  among  the  moun 
tains,  roaring  and  flashing  with  terrific 
thunder  and  forked  lightnings,  and  pour 
ing  itself  in  deluging  torrents  upon  the 
valleys  below ;  the  ever-changing  seasons, 
which  give  u  seed- time  and  harvest,"  and 
come  freighted  each  with  its  own  pleas- 
11 


122  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

ures  and  blessings.  What  objects  and 
themes  for  youthful  contemplation !  What 
sources  of  instruction,  if  the  inquiring 
mind  of  childhood  is  properly  directed ! 

The  child  in  the  flower-garden  may 
take  numberless  lessons  in  discriminating 
colors  and  odors,  and  in  learning  the 
names  and  characteristics  of  the  different 
flowers  that  adorn  the  landscape  and  de 
light  the  senses.  He  may  cultivate  a 
taste  for  the  beautiful  in  Nature,  and  a 
fondness  for  that  rich  science  which  opens 
at  this  point  into  the  wide  world  of  vege 
table  creation.  The  child  in  the  culti 
vated  field  should  learn  to  distinguish 
between  the  different  grasses  and  grains. 
Each  kind  has  its  own  peculiar  stalk  and 
leaf,  and  blossom  and  seed.  The  clover- 
field  differs  from  the  herds-grass  ;  the 
wheat,  from  the  barley,  oat,  and  rye- 
field  ;  and,  after  the  harvest,  the  kernels 
all  differ  from  each  other.  Now,  how 


INTELLECTUAL   CULTURE.  123 

many  in  the  schools  are  put  upon  the 
study  of  the  higher  English  classics  and 
ornamental  branches  who  are  profoundly 
ignorant  of  the  most  common  and  useful 
facts  by  which  their  childhood  was  sur 
rounded!  And  yet  all  these  facts  might 
have  been  known  perfectly,  and  much 
profitable  discipline  secured,  had  the  par 
ents  done  their  duty,  and  early  called 
their  attention  to  the  object-lessons  of 
Nature  in  the  garden  and  in  the  field. 

The  child  in  the  orchard  and  in  the 
wood  should  be  taught  early  to  name,  at 
sight,  the  apple,  pear,  peach,  and  plum 
trees;  the  beach,  birch,  and  maple,  with 
their  various  species ;  and  the  evergreens, 
which  defy  the  chilling  blasts  and  icy 
grapple  of  winter.  He  'should  know  them 
by  the  color  of  their  bark,  and  shape  of 
their  leaves,  and  the  taste  of  their  fruit ; 
and  he  should  understand  their  compara 
tive  utility  for  the  purposes  of  food,  fruit, 


124  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

and  lumber.  A  knowledge  of  such  facts 
would  lead  the  young  pupil  to  inquire 
into  the  philosophy  of  the  vegetable 
world ;  to  study  the  relations  of  the  plant 
and  the  tree  to  the  elements  which  sur 
round  them ;  and,  finally,  to  investigate 
the  process  by  which  plants  grow  under 
the  influence  of  heat,  light,  and  moisture. 
Still  further  :  the  child  on  the  farm, 
among  the  minerals,  may  be  profitably 
employed  in  learning  the  nature  of  the 
soil,  and  the  names  of  the  different  rocks 
and  metals  with  which  he  is  familiar. 
The  different  soils,  and  their  adaptation 
to  the  different  crops  which  the  farmer 
expects  them  to  yield;  the  manner  of 
enriching  and  cultivating  them ;  the 
times  and  seasons  for  casting  the  seed, 
nursing  the  plants,  and  gathering  the  har 
vest,  —  are  facts  every  boy  should  under 
stand;  and  the  girl,  the  corresponding 
facts  in  her  own  domestic  department. 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  125 

The  difference  between  the  common 
metals,  —  iron,  lead,  copper,  silver,  and 
gold,  —  their  uses  and  comparative  values, 
and  the  localities  from  which  they  are  ob 
tained  ;  why  gold  is  more  valuable  than 
silver,  and  silver  than  copper,  and  copper 
than  lead,  when  used  as  coin ;  and  why 
iron  is  the  most  valuable  of  all  metals 
when  used  in  the  arts,  —  are  facts  which 
every  child  can  and  should  understand, 
even  while  in  the  home  school  of  Nature. 
A  knowledge  of  these  facts  will  lead  to 
the  science  of  agriculture,  housekeeping, 
mineralogy,  geology,  and  lay  the  founda 
tion  for  a  successful  business-life. 

And,  finally,  the  child  may  be  intro 
duced  to  the  animal  world.  Domestic 
animals  first  attract  his  attention.  They 
become  his  companions  and  his  delight. 
The  dog,  the  cat,  the  cow,  the  horse, 
are  watched  and  trained  and  enjoyed  in 
the  pastime  of  every-day  life.  The  first 
n» 


126  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

business  of  the  parent  is,  therefore,  to 
teach  the  child  the  distinctive  nature 
and  habits  of  these  animals.  This  in 
struction  will  tend  to  awaken  a  new  in 
terest  in  the  whole  subject  of  animal 
existence,  and  will  lead  the  young 
learner  to  study  the  history  of  the  wild 
animals  that  roam  our  forests  and  oc 
cupy  other  countries.  From  a  knowl 
edge  of  the  domestic  fowls  that  afford 
the  child  so  much  pleasure,  he  learns  to 
listen  with  delight  to  the  songs  of  the 
birds  which  frequent  the  groves  about 
his  dwelling,  and  to  study  with  interest 
their  varying  forms,  colors,  notes,  habits, 
and  history ;  and  ere  long,  under  proper 
encouragement,  he  is  ready  to  search  the 
whole  field  of  natural  history  for  new 
objects  of  interest. 

And  home  instruction  in  the  animal 
kingdom  finds  an  endless  variety  of 
objects  in  the  department  of  *  insects. 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  127 

They  fill  the  air  we  breathe,  the  water 
we  drink,  and  every  foot  of  soil  upon 
which  we  tread.  In  species  they  are 
countless,  in  variety  almost  infinite. 
Now,  the  child  is  familiar  with  many  of 
these  short-lived  but  evidently  happy 
little  creatures.  Give  him  a  microscope, 
and  teach  him  to  study  with  care  their 
habits  and  history. 

The  water  also  teems  with  its  own 
inhabitants  :  the  finny  tribes  and  the 
shell-fish  are  all  objects  of  great  interest 
and  profit  for  home  lessons  and  instruc 
tion. 

Home  geography  affords  another  ap 
propriate  subject  for  home  mental  cul 
ture.  Children  should  have  their  atten 
tion  directed  early  to  the  prominent  facts 
on  this  important  subject.  First,  they 
may  be  taught  the  points  of  compass, 
-  east,  west,  north,  and  south.  These 
will  be  more  easily  and  correctly  fixed  in 


128  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

the  mind  by  observing  the  position  and 
direction  of  the  sun.  Let  the  child 
take  a  stand-point  facing  that  luminary 
at  the  time  of  its  rising.  The  sun  is 
now  in  the  east ;  and  the  opposite  point 
is  due  west.  Now  let  him  stretch  out 
his  arms,  and  point  his  fingers,  and  his 
left  hand  will  point  to  the  north,  and  his 
right  hand  to  the  south.  This  practical 
lesson,  learned  from  observation,  should 
now  be  applied  to  directions  of  different 
objects  in  the  room  and  in  the  field. 
The  sides  of  the  room  —  which  is  east, 
west,  north,  and  south?  What  direc 
tion  is  the  stove  from  the  opposite  win 
dow,  and  the  window  from  the  stove  ? 
What  is  the  direction  of  the  church,  the 
schoolhouse,  and  the  store,  from  the 
house?  Does  the  street  run  north  and 
south  ?  or  east  and  west  ?  Which  way 
does  the  brook  or  river  run  ?  and  which 
way  do  the  clouds  move  ? 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  129 

Next  the  attention  of  the  child  may  be 
directed  to  "a  description  of  the  earth;  " 
that  is,  the  door-yard  with  which  he  is 
familiar ;  the  field,  the  pasture,  and  the 
wood,  over  which  he  roams.  He  should 
be  taught  to  observe  the  hills  and  the 
vales,  the  rocks  and  the  trees  and  the 
streams,  and  be  required  to  describe 
them  in  his  childish  way.  He  should 
"  bound "  the  yard,  the  field,  and  the 
farm,  carefully  observing  the  points  of 
compass  and  the  portions  of  land,  or 
neighboring  farms  adjoining.  And,  with 
the  points  of  compass,  he  should  be 
taught  distances  and  measurements;  the 
number  of  rods  in  the  garden-fence,  and 
to  a  neighbor's  house;  the  number  of 
miles  to  the  next  village  ;  the  number  of 
acres  in  the  cornfield  and  meadow.  Such 
instruction  lays  the  foundation  for  that 
thorough  and  practical  knowledge  which 
enabled  Columbus  to  discover  a  continent, 


130  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

and  which  is  important  in  every  depart 
ment  of  life. 

The  observing  faculties  are  early  exer 
cised  also  in  numbering  the  different 
objects  which  come  in  childhood's  way ; 
and  this  is  practical  arithmetic.  Count 
ing  the  fingers  was  the  origin  of  the 
Arabic  and  Roman  methods  of  notation, 
the  reason  of  the  increase  from  right  to 
left  by  tens,  and  of  the  ten  characters 
which  we  have  to  represent  numbers. 
Hence  the  word  digits,  the  name  (from 
digiti)  given  to  the  figures ;  which  lit 
erally  means  fingers. 

Let  children  be  put  to  counting  their 
fingers,  their  blocks,  their  marbles,  the 
doors  and  windows  with  their  panes  of 
glass,  and  the  sets  of  household  articles. 
Let  them  count  the  flocks  and  herds,  the 
stones  and  trees,  and  all  the  objects  of 
Nature  which  can  attract  their  attention. 
Let  them  count  the  stars,  "which  no  man 


INTELLECTUAL   CULTURE.  131 

can  number."  They  should  also  be  re 
quired  to  exercise  their  memory  by  re 
calling  the  things  they  have  counted ;  to 
exercise  their  judgment  by  considering 
comparative  bulk  in  relation  to  numbers : 
and,  to  make  this  home  instruction  prac 
tical,  let  counting,  adding,  and  sub 
tracting  be  applied  to  the  business 
transactions  of  the  farm,  the  workshop, 
and  the  store. 

By  the  proper  discipline  of  the  observ 
ing  faculties  in  childhood,  two  desirable 
objects  will  be  accomplished,  which  can 
not  fail  to  have  an  important  bearing 
upon  the  success  and  welfare  of  the  man 
and  woman  in  after-life.  First,  a  taste 
will  be  cultivated,  and  a  foundation  laid, 
for  accurate  and  successful  study  in  the 
different  departments  of  science,  litera 
ture,  and  language.  This  home  school  is 
necessary  to  fit  the  child  for  the  different 
grades  of  instruction  which  he  will  re- 


132  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ceive  in  the  public  school,  academy,  and 
college. 

The  second  object  to  be  secured  by 
training  the  eye  and  ear  to  accurate  see 
ing  and  hearing  is  the  habit  of  knowing 
and  telling  the  truth.  Careless  observa 
tion  must  result  in  imperfect  knowledge 
and  false  representation.  Misapprehen 
sions,  and  misstatements  of  facts,  are, 
to-day,  prevailing  evils  in  every  neigh 
borhood  and  in  every  grade  of  society  in 
our  land.  The  gossip  of  the  "tea-party" 
and  the  gossip  of  the  newspaper  con 
tinue  to  disturb  the  peace  of  every 
community  by  manufacturing  strife  and 
stirring  up  scandal.  History  and  litera 
ture  are  full  of  misreprentations,  and  the 
whole  nation  is  groaning  under  a  burden 
of  lies.  And  who  can  fail  to  see  that 
one  fruitful  source  of  these  evils  may  be 
found  in  the  neglect  of  early  training,  as 
above  specified  ? 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  133 

A  practical  question  here  arises  :  How 
shall  the  habit  of  accurate  observation 
be  formed  in  childhood?  I  answer 
briefly :  Encourage  the  child  to  observe, 
with  fixed  attention,  every  thing  and 
every  occurrence  that  meets  his  senses. 
Then,  as  a  test  of  this  accuracy,  require 
a  description  of  what  has  been  seen  or 
heard.  For  instance :  The  mother  is  about 
to  spread  the  table,  and  furnish  it  for  a 
tea-party.  She  requires  her  little  girl  to 
sit  down  and  watch  every  movement 
until  her  work  is  accomplished ;  and  then 
she  will  be  expected  to  give  a  full  ac 
count  of  every  step  in  the  process,  in  its 
order  and  in  full,  even  to  the  number  of 
the  plates,  cups  and  saucers,  knives  and 
forks  and  spoons,  which  have  been  used. 
Or  this  mother  wishes  to  send  her  boy  on 
an  errand.  She  gives  him  the  message ; 
but,  before  allowing  him  to  start,  she  re 
quires  him  to  repeat  her  order  again 
12 


134  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

and  again,  until  he  has  fixed  every  par 
ticular  in  his  mind.  Had  the  father  who 
sent  his  son  to  a  neighbor's  house,  to  bor 
row  a  flour-barrel  for  the  purpose  of  con 
fining  his  puppy,  taken  this  course,  he 
would  not  have  been  mortified  by  learn 
ing  the  next  day  that  his  boy  asked  the 
neighbor  for  "an  empty  barrel  of  flour 
to  make  a  dog  a  hen-coop." 

Direct  the  attention  of  the  child  to  the 
phenomena  of  Nature;  train  him  to  ob 
serve  accurately  the  time  as  indicated  by 
the  watch,  the  clock,  and  especially  the 
sun,  so  that  he  may  know  the  hours,  as 
they  pass,  by  observation,  and  acquire  the 
habits  of  promptness  and  industry ;  teach 
him  the  importance  of  u  order,"  which  is 
u  heaven's  first  law  ;  "  and  do  not  forget 
that  a  correct  judgment  cannot  be  formed 
without  a  full  knowledge  of  the  facts  and 
principles,  and  processes  of  reasoning, 
which  have  a  bearing  upon  the  subject, 


INTELLECTUAL  CULTURE.  135 

and  that  these  can  be  gained  only  by 
accurate  observation  and  study. 

But  intellectual  culture  at  home 
should  not  partake  of  the  form  and  ne 
cessary  strictness  of  school  discipline. 
This  would  defeat  the  very  object  in 
view.  Children  will  not  bear  such  con 
finement  ;  and  would,  by  formal  and  con 
stant  requirements,  acquire  a  distaste  for 
the  instruction  to  be  imparted.  Home- 
lessons  should  be  made  agreeable  and 
attractive:  and,  to  this  end,  they  should 
be  made,  in  a  measure,  optional ;  to  be 
sought  rather  than  enforced.  By  skil 
ful  management  on  the  part  of  parents, 
the  curiosity  and  interest  of  children  may 
be  excited,  and  all  the  desirable  results 
secured,  on  the  voluntary  principle. 

The  conversation  of  the  breakfast- 
table,  at  dinner,  and  at  tea,  should  be 
conducted  with  a  view  to  secure  the 
improvement  of  our  children.  Little 


136  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

ears  are  always  open  to  listen,  and  little 
minds  always  active  to  digest  ideas  upon 
interesting  topics  so  presented.  The 
taste  is  thus  cultivated,  the  intellect  ex 
panded,  and  directed  into  the  right  chan 
nels  of  thought. 

Another  suggestion  in  this  connection  : 
When  practicable,  the  parent  should  take 
his  child  with  him  on  short  excursions, 
and  even  on  a  journey.  Nothing  is  bet 
ter  calculated  to  open  and  expand  the 
mind  than  the  constantly- varying  scenery 
and  circumstances  which  such  excursions 
afford. 

But  caution  should  always  be  exer 
cised  lest  parents  should  over-train  and 
over-task  their  young  children.  The 
laws  of  physical  as  well  as  mental 
development  demand  that  home  life 
should  be  comparatively  free  and  active  ; 
and  yet,  under  wise  and  judicious  man 
agement,  it  may  be  the  season  for  great 


INTELLECTUAL   CULTURE.  137 

improvement,  and  for  laying  the  founda 
tion  of  a  thorough,  practical  education, 
such  as  will  develop  true  manhood  and 
womanhood. 

12* 


IX. 

THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL. 

school  is  an  expansion  of  the 
family.  Children  from  different 
homes  are  brought  together,  and  commit 
ted  to  the  care  and  instruction  of  teach 
ers  employed  for  this  purpose.  These 
teachers  occupy  the  place  of  parents; 
receive  from  them  delegated  authority 
and  power ;  and  assume  their  duties  for 
the  purpose  of  carrying  forward  and 
completing  the  important  work  of  edu 
cation.  This  work,  as  we  have  seen, 
does  not  begin  with  the  school ;  nor  is 
it  confined  to  the  study  of  books.  It 
begins  with  infancy,  under  the  influence 
of  the  mother's  smiles  and  tears  -  and 

138 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  139 

anxious  care  ;  it  progresses  through 
childhood,  in  the  midst  of  toys,  and  a 
world  of  objects  which  address  themselves 
to  the  senses,  and  interest  the  mind, 
of  the  little  stranger.  These  are  the 
most  important  periods  of  life,  as  the 
child  now  receives  the  most  durable  im 
pressions,  and  forms  the  most  lasting 
habits.  But  the  time  at  length  comes 
when  parental  inability,  or  absorbing 
home  cares  and  toils,  forbid  proper  at 
tention  to  the  child's  higher  education. 
Assistance  must  be  secured.  The  school 
becomes  a  necessity ;  but  by  no  means, 
and  at  no  time,  should  our  children  be 
committed  entirely  to  the  care  of  others. 
It  is  an  hour  of  special  peril,  when 
without  experience,  or  practical  knowl 
edge  of  the  world,  they  are  sent  out  to 
mingle  with  new  associates,  to  form  new 
relations,  and  to  come  under  new  con 
trol.  There  is  need,  therefore,  of 


140  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

greater  parental  vigilance  and  fidelity 
than  ever  before.  No  greater  mistake 
can  be  made  than  to  suppose  that  the 
discipline  of  the  family  may  be  confined 
to  the  home,  and  that  parental  responsi 
bility  ceases  when  public  instruction  be 
gins.  This  discipline  and  watchfulness 
and  special  care  should  extend  over  the 
whole  period  of  minority. 

I  come  now,  therefore,  to  consider  the 
practical  questions  which  have  a  bearing 
upon  the  relations  of  parents  to  the 
schools  in  which  their  children  are  edu 
cated. 

AT  WHAT  AGE 

should  children  be  sent  to  the  public 
school  ?  From  four  to  eighteen  is  the 
ordinary  legal  school-age.  Some  foolish 
mothers  send  their  children  to  school 
even  earlier  than  the  law  suggests,  to 
get  them  out  of  the  way.  They  have  the 
"babies"  still  at  home  to  be  cared  for, 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  141 

but  do  not  realize  that  the  teacher,  with 
twenty,  thirty,  or  forty  pupils  to  govern 
and  instruct,  has  no  time  to  give  attention 
to  their  restless  children  who  are  too 
young  to  be  instructed  at  the  school. 

But  they  ought  to  know  that  the  school 
room  is  no  place  for  so  young  children. 
Such  an  imprisonment,  with  nothing  to 
do,  is  an  absolute  wrong  and  injury  to 
the  little  prisoners.  They  have  commit 
ted  no  crime;  and  they  need  and  have  a 
right  to  claim  the  freedom  of  home,  with 
their  toys  and  pets  and  sports.  The 
activity  which  such  freedom  alone  can 
secure  is  absolutely  necessary  for  healthy 
physical  development.  Besides,  the  ob 
ject  -teaching  and  self -culture  of  the 
home-school  are  far  better  for  the  child 
than  the  false  system  of  primary  instruc 
tion  adopted  in  most  of  our  public 
schools. 

Another  thought   in  this  connection: 


142  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

When  sent  to  school  too  early,  and  im 
properly  taught,  the  child  becomes  dis 
gusted  with  school-life,  and  receives  an 
irreparable  injury,  affecting  his  progress 
and  improvement  in  later  years.  If  he 
enters  at  the  right  age,  and  is  taught  in 
the  proper  way,  he  will  learn  to  love  his 
school,  and  will  acquire  a  taste  for  books 
and  study.  He  must  not,  therefore,  be 
sent  too  early.  But  at  what  age  should 
he  enter  the  public  school?  I  answer, 
Better  at  twelve  than  three  years  old, 
better  at  eight  than  five,  and  never  young 
er  than  six  ;  and,  if  the  school  which  he 
must  attend  is  decidedly  poor,  he  should 
be  delayed  still  longer. 

I  have  urged  the  importance  of  correct 
primary  instruction  at  home,  and  have 
here  alluded  to  the  importance  of  adopt 
ing  the  same  system  in  the  school.  This 
is  Nature's  method,  —  the  object  first,  and 
then  the  sign,  which  may  be  either  a  pie- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  143 

ture  or  a  word'  and,  in  either  case,  it 
should  be  seen  and  recognized  by  its 
looks.  By  this  method,  children  are 
taught  to  read  words  and  sentences  be 
fore  they  know  the  letters  of  •  the  alpha 
bet,  just  as  they  have,  at  home,  learned 
to  distinguish  different  objects  by  sight 
and  by  name  without  stopping  to  analyze 
or  explain.  The  analysis  will  come  natu 
rally  afterwards,  and  the  instruction  so 
given  will  be  much  more  interesting  and 
profitable. 

Parents  as  well  as  teachers  should  un 
derstand  that  the  old  system  of  instruc 
tion  in  primary  schools  is  unnatural  and 
unwise  ;  and  they  should  always  give  the 
preference,  in  employing  instructors,  to 
those  who  have  been  trained  in  modern 
methods. 

Indeed,  all  parents  should  be  so  well 
informed  as  to  the  best  methods  of  school 
government  and  instruction  as  to  be 


144  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

qualified  to  exercise  an  intelligent  super 
vision  over  the  training  of  their  children. 
Intelligence  in  school-matters  is  a  neces 
sary  qualification  to  enable  parents  to 
appreciate,  a  good  school  and  a  good 
teacher,  to  adopt  the  best  system,  to  pro 
vide  a  suitable  outfit,  and  to  secure  a  wise 
administration  of  educational  affairs. 

Another  practical  question  to  consider, 
in  preparing  the  public  school  for  their 
children,  is,  What 

SYSTEM  OF  ORGANIZATION 

shall  be  adopted? 

Except  in  the  cities,  the  district  system 
has  generally  prevailed  in  this  country. 
Every  one  who  has  given  the  matter  any 
attention  is  aware  of  the  disadvantages 
of  this  system;  and  many  earnest  efforts 
have  been  made  to  remove  the  evil  by 
a  change  to  what  is  termed  the  town 
system. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  145 

In  some  States,  the  town  system  has 
been  established  by  law ;  in  others,  en 
abling  acts  have  been  passed  allowing  the 
towns  to  abolish  the  district,  and  establish 
the  town  system. 

The  advantages  of  the  town  over  the 
district  system  may  here  be  considered. 

1.  Under  town  supervision,  the  schools 
would  all  be  of  the  same  length,  giving  the 
children  in  every  family  an  equal  amount 
of  instruction :    under  district   supervis 
ion,  the  length  of  the  different  schools 
varies  from  twelve   to   thirty-six  weeks 
during  the  year.     And  as  all  parents  are 
taxed  equally,  according  to  their  ability, 
to   support   the   public   schools,   and   as 
every  man  is  interested  in  the  education 
of  every  other  man's  children,  all  should 
enjoy  equal  school  advantages. 

2.  Under    town    supervision,  just    so 
many  schools  would  be  established  as  are 
needed,  and  no  more.     Under  the  district 

13 


146  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

system,  the  number  of  schools  is  deter 
mined  by  old  district  lines,  without  regard 
to  the  number  of  pupils  to  be  provided 
for.  The  result  is,  some  of  these  schools 
are  crowded  much  beyond  the  capacity 
of  the  buildings  to  accommodate,  and 
others  are  so  small  that  the  advantages 
of  classification  and  class  emulation  are 
entirely  lost.  And  other  evils  result 
indirectly  from  the  same  cause.  The 
small  schools  are  likely  to  employ  teach 
ers  of  a  lower  grade ;  to  have  a  more 
stingy  outfit,  and  a  less  careful  super 
vision. 

3.  Under  the  town  system,  the  aggre 
gate  expenses  of  common  schools  would 
be  much  diminished.  As  at  present  man 
aged,  much  money  is  wasted  in  building 
schoolhouses,  employing  teachers,  and 
in  running  the  schools.  I  have  in  mind 
an  instance  which  will  illustrate.  There 
were  in  the  town  of  L.  five  schools,  in  all 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  147 

of  which  there  were  only  thirty-six 
pupils.  In  one  other  school,  in  the  same 
town,  there  was  the  same  number.  Now, 
the  one  school  was  not  too  large  to  be 
profitable :  indeed,  it  could  be  managed 
to  much  better  advantage  by  a  single 
teacher  than  the  small  school  of  seven 
pupils.  This  large  school  was  in  session 
twenty-nine  weeks  during  the  year  under 
review,  at  an  expense  of  $260.  The 
five  small  schools,  running  the  same  num 
ber  of  weeks,  with  less  efficient  manage 
ment  and  less  satisfactory  results,  cost 
$2,430.  This  gives  us  the  practical 
solution  in  figures  which  "do  not  lie." 
In  the  large  school,  the  whole  expense 
of  twenty-nine  weeks7  schooling  was 
$7.22  for  each  pupil:  in  the  small 
schools  for  the  same  time,  the  actual 
expense,  as  estimated  in  the  town  report, 
was  $67.50  per  scholar.  This  estimate 
does  not  include  the  interest  on  the 


148  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

additional  amount  of  school  property 
invested  in  the  five  districts  compared 
with  the  one. 

4.  Under  town  supervision,  more  skil 
ful  teachers  can  be  employed,  and  better 
furnished  schoolhouses  provided,  and 
hence  much  more  profitable  schools 
secured.  We  cannot  expect  that  a  dis 
trict  of  only  two  or  three  families  having 
children  to  educate  will  be  willing  to 
incur  the  expense  of  building  a  new 
schoolhouse,  and  paying  high  salaries  to 
their  teachers. 

But,  under  the  town  system,  all  the 
children  in  town  would  be  provided  for 
equally,  and  those  in  the  rural  districts 
would  enjoy  equal  advantages  with  those 
in  the  large  villages.  This  would  be 
an  important  point  gained,  and  would 
result  in  establishing  good  schools  in  the 
place  of  poor  ones  throughout  the  town 
and  state. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  149 

5.  The  crowning  advantage   resulting 
from    town   supervision   would    be     the 
establishment  of  a  graded  school  of  high 
order  in  the  centre  of  the  town,  which 
would  be  accessible  to  all.     This  school 
would    have    three    departments,  —  the 
primary,  the  intermediate,  and  the  aca 
demic,  —  and  would  afford  excellent  facili 
ties  for  every  grade  of  pupils  fitting  for 
business  and  for  college.     Such  a   town 
system  of  public  schools  would  supplant 
the   common   mixed   academies,  leaving 
only  a  few  classical  schools  of  high  order, 
and  the  higher  seminaries  and  colleges, 
where  the  graduates  of  the  graded  town- 
schools  could  finish  their  education. 

6.  More    complete  supervision  of  the 
schools  would  be  secured  under  the  town 
system.     The  town  board   of  education 
would   naturally  be   composed   of  culti 
vated  and  efficient  men,  and  would  act  in 
concert   for   the   common    good   of    all. 

13* 


150  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

They  would  not  only  examine,  but 
employ,  the  teachers;  and  hence  would 
be  able  to  secure  those  who  are  the  best 
qualified  and  adapted  to  the  different 
grades  of  the  several  schools. 

These  are  some  of  the  many  advan 
tages  which  would  result  from  abolishing 
the  district  and  establishing  the  town 
system.  The  utility  of  the  change  has 
been  demonstrated  both  in  town  and 
state  where  the  experiment  has  been 
tried.  That  will  be  a  fortunate  day  for 
the  cause  of  education  when  this  true 
system  of  public  instruction  shall  have 
been  everywhere  established;  and  it  is 
the  first  duty  of  parents  to  demand  and 
secure  the  school  system  here  recom 
mended. 

The  importance  of  the 

GBADED  SYSTEM  OF  SCHOOLS, 

wherever   such   a  classification    can    be 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  151 

effected,  justifies  a  special  plea  in  its  be 
half.  u  A  graded  school,"  says  Wells,  uis 
a  school  in  which  the  pupils  are  divided 
into  classes  according  to  their  attainments, 
and  in  which  all  the  pupils  of  each  class 
attend  to  the  same  branches  of  study  at 
the  same  time." 

The  special  utility  and  desirableness  of 
this  system  will  occur  to  every  intelligent 
mind.  Let  us  examine  it. 

In  a  thoroughly  graded  school,  perfect 
classification  can  be  effected.  Pupils  of 
the  same  age,  having  a  common  interest 
and  mutual  sympathy,  are  brought  to 
gether.  The  influence  of  class  pride  and 
emulation  is  brought  to  bear  upon  them. 
With  fewer  classes,  more  time  is  given  for 
class-recitation  and  personal  drill,  and  a 
more  complete  supervision  of  the  school 
is  secured. 

Under  this  system,  school  trustees  can 
select  teachers  adapted  and  fitted  for 


152  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL, 

their  own  special  departments,  and  can 
employ  them  permanently ;  can  provide 
a  uniformity  of  text -books,  and  secure 
more  punctuality  and  regularity  of  at 
tendance. 

None  of  these  advantages  can  be  real 
ized  in  the  mixed,  unclassified  school; 
and  still  this  is  the  condition  of  a  large 
majority  of  the  public  schools  in  every 
State  in  the  Union. 

These  schools  are  thoroughly  mixed: 
all  children  of  school-age  —  "from  four 
to  eighteen"  —  are  huddled  together. 
They  are  provided  with  text-books  of 
every  kind,  and  upon  every  subject ;  and 
the  teacher  is  expected  to  govern  and 
instruct  this  heterogeneous  assemblage  in 
the  most  approved  manner. 

But  how  can  she  do  this?  There  can 
be  no  system  or  order  in  such  a  school. 
Every  thing  is  at  the  mercy  of  circum 
stances.  There  are  at  least  three  schools 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  153 

(in  one)  to  be  managed  and  taught, — • 
the  primary,  the  intermediate,  and  the 
academic ;  and  still  there  is  only  one  day 
at  a  time  to  be  devoted  to  them  all.  The 
teacher  must  keep  order,  adapting  her 
discipline  to  the  child  of  four  years,  and 
to  the  man  or  woman  of  eighteen.  A 
little  world,  with  all  the  diversities  of 
age  and  disposition,  is  under  her  admin 
istration  ;  and  for  their  improvement  and 
culture  she  is  held  responsible.  From 
twenty  to  thirty  important  recitations 
must  be  conducted  daily,  and  at  such 
times  as  chance  may  dictate.  What  can 
even  a  good  teacher  accomplish  under 
such  circumstances?  What  right  have 
parents  to  expect  satisfactory  results  from 
schools  so  organized  ? 

The  graded  system  secures  such  a 
division  of  labor  as  will  obviate  all  theso 
difficulties,  and  enable  the  teacher  to 
bring  order  out  of  confusion,  and  light 
out  of  darkness. 


154  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

Every  one  understands  the  importance 
of  this  principle  as  applied  to  the  de 
partments  of  industry  in  practical  life. 
Division  of  labor  is  indispensable  to  suc 
cess  in  the  arts,  as  taught  in  political 
economy. 

To  illustrate,  I  will  refer  to  some  ex 
amples. 

In  the  manufacture  of  pins,  ten  men 
are  actually  employed  for  the  purpose 
of  securing  the  benefits  of  classification 
of  the  different  kinds  of  labor. 

One  man  draws  out  the  wire ;  another 
straightens  it ;  a  third  cuts  it ;  the  fourth 
sharpens  the  point ;  the  fifth  grinds  it  at 
the  top  for  receiving  the  head ;  and  the 
other  five  men  are  employed  in  making 
the  different  parts  of  the  head,  and  finish 
ing  the  whole.  Now,  why  not  require 
each  one  of  these  ten  men  to  make  his 
share  of  the  pins,  independent  of  his  fel 
lows?  I  answer,  No  one  could  acquire  the 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  155 

necessary  skill  and  adaptation  to  every 
part  of  the  work  :  much  time  would 
be  wasted  in  passing  from  one  point 
to  another,  and  hence  comparatively 
little  would  be  accomplished.  It  is  stated 
upon  good  authority  that  these  same  ten 
men,  who,  with  the  proper  division  of 
labor,  make  forty-eight  thousand  pins  per 
day,  could  make  only  two  hundred  in  the 
same  time  if  each  was  required  to  per 
form  every  part  of  the  work. 

And,  in  the  process  of  making  a  watch, 
we  are  told  that  there  are  one  hundred 
and  two  distinct  branches,  which  may 
employ  as  many  different  apprentices. 
Each  one  of  these  departments  consti 
tutes  a  separate  trade;  and  the  watch- 
finisher  is  the  only  man  of  the  whole 
who  knows  how  to  make  a  watch  in  all 
its  parts. 

This  same  principle  is  applied  to  the 
mechanic  arts  generally.  In  all  our  fac- 


156  THE  PARENTS9  MANUAL. 

tories,  each  operative  has  his  own  special 
department,  and  confines  himself  to  the 
work  assigned.  The  result  is,  much 
more  efficiency  and  skill,  and  hence 
more  productiveness  of  labor. 

And  what  I  here  maintain  is,  that  this 
division  of  labor  should  be  applied  to 
the  management  and  instruction  of  our 
schools. 

First,  secure  as  perfect  a  classification 
of  the  pupils  in  the  district  as  may  be, 
according  to  their  age  and  attainments ; 
second,  assign  to  each  department  a 
teacher  who  has  been  thoroughly  trained, 
and  is  adapted  especially  to  the  posi 
tion  to  be  occupied  and  the  work  to  be 
done;  and,  thirdly,  furnish  that  teacher 
with  the  necessary  books  and  apparatus, 
—  tools  to  work  with,  —  and  the  pro 
cess  of  education  will  be  successfully 
carried  on. 

Having   settled  the  system  of  school- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  157 

organization  to  be  adopted,  parents 
should  proceed  to  make  careful  and 
thorough  preparation  for  the  school. 

SCHOOL-SITES  AND  SCHOOLHOUSES 

demand  their  first  attention.  The  loca 
tion  of  the  schoolhouse  is  a  matter  of 
vital  importance.  Too  often  do  we  find 
it  situated  in  some  dark  alley,  or  on  some 
noisy  street,  on  low  and  marshy  ground, 
or  upon  the  barren  rock  where  no  shade- 
trees  can  grow,  or  upon  the  dusty  corner 
where  four  roads  meet.  In  such  local 
ities  children  are  disturbed  by  noises, 
suffer  from  excessive  heat  and  cold,  or 
from  dampness,  insufficient  light,  and 
bad  air;  and  are  robbed  of  all  the  ad 
vantages  and  pleasures  of  pleasant  sur 
roundings  and  tasteful  arrangements  of 
well-ordered  playgrounds. 

Other  things  being  equal,  the  school- 
house  should  have  a  central  location,  for 

14 


158  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

convenience  of  access.  But  this  is  not 
the  most  important  consideration.  The 
character  of  the  grounds  and  surround 
ings  should  weigh  against  a  few  rods  of 
additional  distance  for  the  children  to 
travel.  The  school-yard  should  be  se 
lected,  laid  out,  and  graded,  with  a  view 
to  furnish  the  children  pleasant  and  at 
tractive  play-grounds.  This  is  as  im 
portant  for  the  purposes  of  education 
as  a  well-constructed  and  well-furnished 
schoolroom.  This  yard  should  contain, 
at  least,  a  half-acre  of  level  or  sloping 
ground,  and  should  be  ornamented  with 
shade-trees,  and  furnished  with  swings, 
ball-bats,  foot-balls,  and  other  induce 
ments  to  healthful  exercise. 

In  selecting  the  site,  special  regard 
should  be  had  to  the  surroundings. 
Noisy  mills,  factories,  and  work-shops,  in 
the  immediate  vicinity  of  the  school- 
house,  are  a  serious  hinderance  to  sue- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  159 

cessful  study.  Stores,  railroad-stations, 
and  taverns  are  liable  to  consume  the 
time,  vitiate  the  taste,  and  corrupt  the 
morals,  of  pupils  who  are  allowed  to  re 
sort  to  them.  Hence  the  schoolhouse 
should,  if  possible,  be  removed  from 
all  such  local  disadvantages;  and,  for 
the  sake  of  health,  equal  care  should  be 
taken  to  avoid  stables,  sewers,  marshes, 
stagnant  bodies  of  water,  and  low  and 
damp  situations  where  heavy  fogs  linger 
long  after  sunrise,  and  chill  night-dews 
gather  before  sunset. 

And  the  school-site  should  be  a  beau 
tiful  location,  where  Nature  has  displayed 
her  romantic  wildness  and  quiet  grandeur. 
Children  are  taught  unconsciously  by 
the  objects  that  surround  them;  and 
hence  the  place  where  they  are  gath 
ered  for  the  study  of  books  should  also 
afford  opportunity  for  them  to  study  the 
book  of  Nature.  They  should  be  able 


160  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

to  gaze  upon  the  towering  mountain,  the 
peaceful  valley,  the  shaded  forest,  and 
the  cultivated  field ;  and  to  listen  to  the 
music  of  running  brooks,  and  the  songs 
of  the  birds  that  frequent  the  shade- trees 
under  which  they  play. 

The  pleasantness  and  attractiveness  of 
the  location  and  surroundings  of  the 
schoolroom  serve  to  make  school-life 
pleasant,  and  to  cultivate  a  taste  for  the 
beautiful  in  nature  and  art,  —  both  ex 
tremely  desirable  as  means  to  the  end  in 
view. 

Schoolhouses  should  not  only  be  prop 
erly  located,  but  constructed  with  great 
care.  Under  the  town  system  'which  has 
been  here  recommended,  the  town  school 
board  would  have  all  these  matters  in 
hand ;  and  they  should  see  to  it  that 
the  site  is  well  chosen,  and  that  each 
house  is  adapted,  in  size  and  finish,  to 
the  number  and  grade  of  the  pupils 
to  be  accommodated. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  161 

The  room  for  the  primary  department 
will  need  different  internal  arrangements 
from  the  intermediate,  and  the  interme 
diate  from  the  academic.  The  benches 
must  be  of  suitable  height  to  enable  each 
pupil  to  rest  his  feet  upon  the  floor,  and 
so  inclined  as  to  allow  a  natural  and  easy 
posture;  the  desks  must  be  constructed 
to  suit  the  size  and  convenience  of  their 
occupants;  and  all  schoolhouses  should 
have  rooms  especially  for  hats,  bonnets, 
shawls,  overcoats,  umbrellas,  dinner-bas 
kets,  &c.,  that  the  children  may  acquire 
the  habits  of  neatness  and  order,  and 
learn  to  take  care  of  whatever  is  intrusted 
to  them. 

Recitation-rooms  should  be  furnished 
with  blackboards  and  brushes,  and  an 
ample  supply  of  apparatus  suited  to  the 
character  of  the  school :  if  a  primary 
school,  apparatus  especially  suited  to 
illustrate  object- teaching. 

14* 


162  TEE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

Lighting  and  heating  the  schoolhouse 
is  of  the  first  importance.  Light  is  ne 
cessary  to  health ;  and  a  good  supply  of 
pure  sunlight,  controlled  by  shutters  and 
curtains,  is  needed,  not  only  for  healthful 
study,  but  also  to  render  the  schoolroom 
more  cheerful  and  inviting.  The  com 
mon  mode  of  heating  schoolrooms  is  very 
objectionable, — much  more  so  than  the 
old  method  by  the  open  fireplace.  The 
tight  box-stove,  without  the  means  of 
evaporating  water,  in  a  room  not  suited 
to  the  purposes  of  ventilation,  is  the 
worst  and  most  dangerous  arrangement 
that  could  be  invented.  It  creates  an 
uneven  temperature,  deadens  the  air,  and 
fills  it  with  smoke,  rendering  it  wholly 
unsuitable  for  the  purposes  of  life.  It  is 
believed  that  more  cases  of  fatal  disease 
are  contracted  in  the  unventilated  and  im 
properly-heated  schoolrooms  of  the  pres 
ent  day  than  anywhere  else  ;  and  -it  be- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  163 

comes  a  matter  of  great  importance  to 
all  parents,  who  seek  to  prepare  their 
children  for  a  long  and  useful  life,  to  un 
derstand  this  subject,  and  to  provide 
against  the  evils  contemplated. 
The  subject  of 

SCHOOLHOUSE  VENTILATION 

is  so  important  to  the  welfare  of  the  chil 
dren  in  our  schools,  that  I  may  properly 
dwell  upon  it  for  a  few  moments.  No 
fact  is  more  evident,  even  to  common 
observation,  than  that  pure  air  is  indis 
pensable  to  health  ;  and  yet  there  are  but 
comparatively  few  schoolhouses  in  any 
community  in  which  pure  air  can  be 
breathed  for  three  hours  during  a  win 
ter's  day. 

Modern  methods  of  heating  school 
rooms,  already  alluded  to,  have  added 
much  to  the  evils  resulting  from  almost 
universal  neglect  in  the  matter  of  ven- 


164  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

tilation.     The  facts  before  us  are  alarm 
ing. 

We  may  give  our  children   the   hard 
fare  at   home  which  were   the  common 
rations  of  other  days,  we  may  provide  for 
them  the  hard  benches  and  uncomforta 
ble  arrangements  of  old-fashioned  school- 
houses,  if  we  will  give  them  also  the  fresh 
air   therein  provided  by  loose  windows 
and  spacious  open   fireplaces.      But  we 
cannot,  without  guilt,  shut  them  up   for 
six  hours  each  day  in  a  small,  tight  room 
warmed  by  a  close  box-stove.     Such  an 
atmosphere  poisons  the  blood,  drains  the 
vitality,  and  lays  the  foundation  of  a  hun 
dred   forms    of    sickness   and    suffering. 
Without  pure  air,  the  circulation  of  the 
blood,  instead  of  a   current  of  life,  be 
comes  a  current  of  death,  diffusing  itself 
through  a  million  of  channels  into  every 
part  of  the  system.     Would  parents  buy 
a   solution  of  arsenic   at   the  druggist's, 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  165 

and  inject  it  into  the  veins  of  their  chil 
dren  ?  This  would  prove  no  more  fatal 
than  to  inhale  the  poison  of  bad  air  which 
they  are  compelled  to  breathe  in  most 
of  our  schoolhouses,  day  after  day,  and 
week  after  week.  The  only  difference 
is,  one  is  a  rapid  and  the  other  is  a  slow 
process  of  poisoning. 

When  the  schoolroom  is  first  opened, 
the  air  is  comparatively  pure :  but,  in  a 
short  time,  the  fifty  pairs  of  lungs  have 
consumed  nearly  all  the  oxygen ;  and  the 
vicious  compound  that  remains  stupefies 
the  intellect,  and,  by  slow  degrees,  saps 
the  very  life-blood.  These  statements 
are  not  theory,  but  facts ;  the  evils  result 
ing  are  not  imaginary,  but  real,  as  illus 
trated  in  the  history  of  a  large  majority 
of  the  public  schools  in  our  country. 

But  how  can  this  evil  be  removed  ?  I 
answer,  Only  by  making  special  provision 
for  the  circulation  of  fresh  air  in  every 


166  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

schoolroom.  Perfect  ventilation  cannot 
be  secured  except  by  scientific  arrange 
ments  in  connection  with  heating  the 
apartments.  The  circulation  of  the  at 
mosphere  is  effected  through  the  agency 
of  heat;  and  when  the  building  is  so 
finished  as  to  admit  a  constant  supply  of 
fresh  air  from  without,  and  to  eject  that 
which  is  impure,  through  ventilators 
prepared  near  the  top  and  bottom  of  the 
upright  ceiling,  heat  becomes  the  con 
trolling  power  to  keep  the  current  in 
circulation.  In  the  absence  of  any  spe 
cial  arrangements  of  this  kind,  resort  must 
be  had  to  open  doors  and  windows. 
These,  used  skilfully  by  parties  who 
understand  the  laws  of  health  and  life, 
will,  in  a  measure,  secure  the  object  in 
view.  Yet  there  is  danger  in  trusting  a 
matter  of  such  vital  importance  to  ar 
rangements  so  imperfect,  and  circum 
stances  so  variable. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  167 

I  wish  here  to  call  special  attention 
to  another  point  which  has  been  alluded 
to  in  this  connection ;  viz.,  the  importance 

of 

SCHOOL-APPARATUS 

to  enable  the  teacher  to  work  success 
fully. 

Apparatus  is  designed  to  illustrate  and 
enforce  the  principles  of  science ;  and  its 
great  utility  is  seen  in  the  well-estab 
lished  fact,  that  instruction  communicated 
through  the  sense  of  sight  is  much  better 
understood,  and  much  longer  remem 
bered.  The  child  sees  the  representation 
of  number  on  his  "  numeral  frame;  "  he 
sees  the  shape  of  the  earth  in  the  arti 
ficial  globe,  and  is  able  to  trace  out  the 
ranges  of  mountains,  the  courses  of 
rivers,  and  the  figure  of  continents, 
upon  the  outline-maps  which  hang  before 
him;  and  he  understands  the  definition 
of  a  cube  in  distinction  from  a  square 


168  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

surface  when  he  sees  and  handles  the 
block  which  bears  that  name. 

Every  schoolroom  should  have  a 
black-board  as  long  as  the  unoccupied 
space  between  the  windows  on  every 
side.  This  will  enable  the  teacher  to 
represent  to  the  eye  many  objects  and 
subjects  which  would  otherwise  be 
either  lost  or  imperfectly  understood  by 
the  pupils ;  and  will  enable  them  to  solve 
the  problems  in  the  presence  of  the 
class  and  teacher,  greatly  to  their  benefit. 

No  schoolroom  is  perfectly  furnished 
which  has  not  in  it  a  thermometer,  to 
enable  the  teacher  to  regulate  the  tem 
perature  ;  and  an  unabridged  diction 
ary  of  the  English  language  is  indis 
pensable,  to  be  consulted  daily  and 
hourly  by  the  whole  school  as  they 
prosecute  their  studies. 

Thorough  instruction  cannot  be  given 
without  these  helps;  and  the  more  ad- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  169 

vanced  departments  should  be  provided 
with  a  cabinet,  library  and  philosophical 
apparatus,  more  or  less  extensive  as  cir 
cumstances  require. 

Having  settled  the  system  of  school- 
organization  to  be  adopted,  and  having 
provided  a  suitable  schoolhouse  favorably 
located  and  well  furnished,  the  next 
important  duty  to  be  performed  by 
parents  is  to  select  and  employ  a 

HIGHLY  COMPETED  TEACHEB. 

Under  the  district-system,  this  duty 
devolves  upon  the  school-trustees  select 
ed  for  that  purpose.  Under  the  town- 
system,  which  I  have  earnestly  commend 
ed,  it  belongs  to  a  committee  of  the  town- 
board  of  education.  In  either  case,  it  is 
a  question  of  vital  importance  who  are 
to  be  intrusted  with  the  management  and 
instruction  of  our  schools. 

The  education  of  the  young  prince  or 

15 


170  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

princess,  in  royal  governments,  is  regard 
ed  as  an  important  matter,  affecting,  as  it 
must,  the  welfare  of  nations.  The  selec 
tion  of  a  tutor  for  such  an  heir  to  the 
throne  always  excites  a  deep  interest  and 
solicitude  throughout  the  kingdom  or 
empire.  But  we  are  a  nation  of  sover 
eigns  j  and  our  children,  princes  of  a  future 
generation.  Great  care  should,  therefore, 
be  exercised  in  the  selection  of  teachers 
for  every  grade  of  schools. 
And  what  are  some  of  the 

NECESSARY  QUALIFICATIONS 

of  the  good  teacher  ?  This  is  a  practical 
question,  and  one  which  it  seems  proper 
to  answer  in  this  connection.  In  the 
past,  too  little  attention  has  been  given 
to  this  subject.  The  writer  well  remem 
bers  the  time  when  no  examinations  were 
required  of  candidates  for  teachers  of  our 
common  schools :  and,  in  many  cases,  the 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  171 

only  questions  raised  by  the  school-officer 
as  to  the  fitness  of  the  applicant  for  the 
important  office,  were,  first,  Is  he  physi 
cally  strong  and  courageous  ?  second, 
Will  he  work  cheap  ?  third,  Will  he  con 
sent  to  u  board  round  "  ? 

These  questions  settled  affirmatively, 
the  candidate  was  sure  to  be  employed. 
False  opinions  then  very  generally  pre 
vailed.  It  was  believed  that  good  school- 
government  could  be  maintained  only  by 
physical  force;  and  that  anybody  who 
could  read,  write,  and  cipher,  and  u  wield 
the  birch,"  could  keep  school.  And 
another  serious  error  was  and  is  enter 
tained;  viz.,  that  a  backward  school  does 
not  need  a  well-qualified  teacher :  while 
the  fact  is,  such  a  school  demands  all  the 
more  attention  because  it  is  backward. 
From  such  erroneous  views  has  arisen 
much  of  the  indifference  manifested  by 
parents  as  to  the  qualifications  of  their 


172  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

teachers.  Still  it  is  a  vital  question ;  and 
I  wish  to  direct  to  it,  especially,  the 
attention  of  my  readers. 

PHYSICAL  VIGOB. 

Let  me  say,  then,  to  the  school-commit 
tees  intrusted  with  the  important  duty 
of  selecting  teachers  for  their  public 
schools,  Inquire,  first  of  all,  for  physical 
vigor  (not  flogging-power,  but  JieaUJi) 
in  your  candidate.  No  employment 
taxes  more  severely  the  vital  energies,  or 
demands  more  vigorous  health,  than  the 
successful  management  and  instruction 
of  a  school.  The  teacher's  is  a  confined 
life.  He  has  but  few  leisure  days  or 
hours,  and  but  short  vacations,  that  he 
can  call  his  own.  During  six  hours 
every  day,  for  at  least  five  days  in  a 
week,  he  is  shut  up  between  four  walls, 
and  often  in  a  badly- ventilated  and  uncom 
fortable  room ;  and  has  but  little  oppor- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  173 

tunity  for  the  necessary  exercise  and 
recreation. 

His  is  also  a  laborious  life.  If  faith 
ful  to  his  charge,  his  labors  are  in 
cessant.  He  must  govern  and  teach, 
and  teach  and  govern,  and  sometimes 
under  the  most  discouraging  circum 
stances.  Out  of  school,  his  hours  are 
devoted  to  a  preparation  for  his  work,  — 
reading,  studying,  thinking,  planning,  for 
the  improvement  and  welfare  of  his 
pupils. 

Again :  the  teacher's  life  is  full  of  care 
and  anxiety.  He  is  laden  with  responsi 
bility  which  he  cannot  shift  if  he  would. 
Not  only  do  his  confinement  and  unremit 
ting  toil  tax  his  strength,  and  wear  upon 
his  constitution,  but  his  perplexing  cares 
and  anxious  watchings  shock  his  nervous 
system.  Toilsome  days  and  anxious 
nights  are  a  constant  strain  upon  his  very 
life.  To  endure  all  this,,  and  sustain  him- 

15* 


174  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

self  under    so    severe    a    pressure,    the 
teacher  must  enjoy  good  health. 

COMMON  SENSE. 

The  second  requisite  qualification  for  a 
good  teacher  is  common  sense.  This  may 
seem  to  some  to  be  superfluous  ;  but  not 
so.  There  is  much  more  uncommon  than 
common  sense  among  men ;  and  yet  the 
latter  is  indispensable  to  success  in  the 
vocation  of  teaching.  The  teacher  occu 
pies  a  very  important  position.  He  is 
thrown  upon  his  own  resources;  must 
act  every  day  without  aid  or  counsel 
upon  questions  which  have  an  important 
bearing  upon  his  success  or  failure.  And 
what  shall  guide  him  to  the  choice  of  the 
best  means  to  meet  the  emergency,  and 
to  accomplish  his  object?  He  cannot 
consult  his  professional  books  or  his 
more  experienced  and  wise  fellow-teach 
ers  ;  but  he  must  act  without  delay.  And 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  175 

what  but  his  common  sense  can  guide 
him  to  a  judicious  course  of  action  ?  In 
the  management  and  government  of  his 
school,  and  in  all  his  intercourse  with  the 
families  of  his  patrons,  he  will  meet  a 
thousand  opportunities  to  exercise  this 
noble  gift,  this  instinct  of  nature.  Let 
parents  see  to  it,  therefore,  that  their 
teachers  possess  good  common  sense. 

CHEEBFTJL  AND  HOPEFUL  DISPOSITION. 

Another  of  Nature's  special  gifts  to  the 
successful  teacher  of  children  is  a  cheer 
ful  and  hopeful  disposition. 

Some  persons  are  constitutionally 
gloomy  and  desponding.  They  always 
look  on  the  dark  side  of  this  bright 
world;  never  see  the  "silver  lining" 
that  gilds  the  dark  cloud  overhanging 
them;  and  hence  they  wear  upon  their 
countenance,  and  express  in  their  words, 
a  funereal  gloom  that  dispels  all  cheerful- 


176  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ness,  and  shuts  out  the  sunlight  from  the 
heart.  These  men  and  women  despair 
of  the  future;  anticipate  no  good  for 
themselves  or  for  others ;  and  hence  settle 
down  in  gloomy  despondency  to  brood 
over  their  misfortunes.  Now,  it  requires 
no  argument  to  show  the  undesirableness 
of  placing  these  desponders  in  the  school 
room. 

"As  the  teacher  is,  so  is  the  school." 
The  gloom  and  hopelessness  which  he 
cherishes  will  be  imparted  to  his  pupils, 
to  suppress  their  cheerfulness,  dampen 
their  enthusiasm,  and  discourage  their 
efforts.  The  expression  of  his  counte 
nance,  the  tones  of  his  voice,  and  indeed 
his  very  presence,  cast  a  gloom  over  the 
buoyant  hearts  of  childhood  and  youth. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  cheerful  and 
hopeful  teacher  inspires  his  pupils  with 
his  own  spirit,  and  animates  them  by  his 
own  living  example.  And  children  need 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  177 

this  inspiration  and  encouragement  more 
than  instruction.  Their  improvement 
while  in  school  depends  upon  nothing  so 
much  as  the  happy  smile  and  cheerful 
words  of  the  hopeful  and  enthusiastic 
teacher.  This  very  hopefulness  enables 
the  teacher  to  secure  the  best  results  of 
his  well-directed  efforts.  He  has  to  deal 
with  dulness  and  stupidity ;  and  he  sees 
little  or  no  improvement  from  day  to  day. 
He  is  sometimes  ready  to  give  up  in 
despair ;  but  he  remembers  that  the  de 
velopment  of  mind,  like  the  growth  of 
the  tree,  is  by  slow  and  imperceptible 
degrees.  The  sturdy  oak  that  now  defies 
the  storm  and  tempest  is  the  product  of 
a  hundred  years ;  and  the  intellect  and 
character  which  give  manhood  and 
womanhood  a  proud  pre-eminence  in 
positions  of  influence  and  usefulness 
have  often  been  unfolded  by  the  patient 
toil  of  the  hopeful  teacher  under  the 


178  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

most  trying  difficulties.  Let  it  not  be 
forgotten  by  parents,  therefore,  that 
nothing  can  compensate  for  the  want  of 
a  cheerful  and  hopeful  disposition  in  the 
instructors  of  their  children. 

LOVE  OF  CHILDBED. 

The  love  of  children  is  still  another 
necessary  natural  qualification  of  the 
teacher.  Some  possess  it,  and  some  do 
not ;  and  when  a  candidate  for  the  high 
office  of  primary  teacher  especially  pre 
sents  herself,  who  has  not  this  fondness 
for  children  in  some  degree  at  least,  she 
should  be  at  once  rejected  on  that 
account. 

This  love  of  children  qualifies  the 
teacher  to  be  happy  in  their  presence, 
to  be  patient  with  their  childishness,  and 
to  sympathize  with  them  in  all  their  en 
joyments  and  trials. 

It  is  interesting   to  see   how  children 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  179 

are  drawn,  as  by  magnetism,  to  the 
teacher  who  loves  them.  They  form  her 
acquaintance  at  sight;  believe  in  her, 
and  cling  to  her  as  to  their  own  mother 
(whose  place  she  occupies,  and  whose 
responsibilities  she  has  assumed) ;  and  of 
course  they  are  ready  to  obey  her,  and 
profit  by  her  example,  precepts,  and  in 
struction.  This  love  of  the  teacher  for 
her  pupils  always  inspires  their  love  for 
her  in  a  corresponding  degree.  They 
seek  her  society,  and  enjoy  her  presence ; 
they  follow  her  and  cling  to  her  as  she 
winds  her  way  over  the  hill  and  through 
the  valley  to  and  from  the  school ;  they 
welcome  her  to  their  homes,  and  enter 
tain  her  by  their  smiles  and  childish 
prattle;  they  invite  her  to  mingle  in 
their  sports;  and  she  becomes  a  child 
again  while  with  children.  It  is  not 
strange,  therefore,  that  mutual  sympathy 
is  awakened,  and  mutual  friendship  ere- 


180  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ated,  such  as  will  give  the  teacher  un 
bounded  control  over  her  pupils  in  the 
management  and  discipline  of  her  school. 

LOVE  FOE  THE  WORK. 

Nearly  allied  to  the  love  of  children, 
as  a  natural  and  necessary  qualification 
of  the  true  teacher,  is  a  love  for  the  worJc. 
Fondness  for  the  society  of  the  young 
tends  to  make  the  business  of  teaching 
agreeable ;  but  this  is  not  all  that  is 
necessary.  Such  other  qualifications  are 
implied  as  create  a  taste  for  the  details 
of  the  teacher's  work,  and  prepare  him 
to  endure  patiently  the  burdens  and 
vexations  of  school-life.  He  is  patient 
and  persevering,  industrious  and  faithful, 
because  he  finds  a  positive  pleasure  in 
the  performance  of  each  required  duty. 
He  estimates  the  dignity  and  responsi 
bility  of  the  teacher's  profession  from  a 
higher  standpoint,  and  cherishes  a  proud 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  18.1 

satisfaction  in  the  nobility  of  his  position 
and  the  important  results  of  his  labors. 

APTNESS  TO  GOVERN  AND  TEACH. 

Aptness  to  govern  and  to  teacli  is  still 
another  natural  gift  to  be  sought  in  the 
candidate  for  the  teacher's  office. 

Aptness  to  govern  is  expressed  in  the 
word  authority,  and  implies  ability  to 
direct  and  control  others.  It  is  inborn, 
and  manifests  itself  as  a  kind  of  instinct. 
It  is  seen  among  children  when  assembled 
to  engage  in  their  sports ;  perhaps  in 

"  Some  village  Hampden,  that,  with  dauntless  breast, 
The  little  tyrant  of  his  fields  withstood." 

Some  one  assumes  the  command, 
and  exercises  his  gift  to  rule.  It  is  seen 
among  men.  Whenever  they  organize 
for  any  purpose, 

"  Some  Cromwell,  guiltless  of  his  country's  blood," 

becomes  the  leader,  and  exercises  author- 

16 


182  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ity  and  control.  In  some  families  the 
children  are  in  complete  subjection  to 
their  parents,  and  yet  no  special  effort 
has  ever  been  made  to  govern  them. 
The  mother  has  authority,  which  is  dis 
covered  in  her  eye,  in  the  tones  of  her 
voice,  in  her  truthful  words  and  un 
changeable  purposes.  Under  her  man 
agement  the  habit  of  obedience  is  soon 
formed,  and  cheerful  submission  ren 
dered. 

In  some  schools  (though  these  are 
the  exception,  and  not  the  rule)  the 
master  has  only  to  wave  his  hand,  or 
tap  with  his  pencil  upon  the  desk,  to 
restore  perfect  order.  His  very  presence 
is  a  ruling  power,  which  his  pupils  are 
inclined  to  recognize  and  obey.  He  has 
authority,  a  natural  aptness  to  govern. 
Lack  of  discipline  in  the  family  and 
school,  which  has  become  so  fearful  an 
evil  in  our  land,  more  often  results  from 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  183 

a  want  of  this  native  power  than  from 
any  other  cause. 

Aptness  to  teach  is  not  always  con 
nected  with  aptness  to  govern,  but  is 
equally  desirable  as  a  qualification  for 
the  important  duties  our  teachers  have 
to  perform.  Ability  to  teach  well  im 
plies  the  power  to  interest  and  fix  the 
attention  of  the  pupil  or  class ;  the 
power  to  illustrate  and  apply  principles ; 
the  power  to  read  character,  so  as  to  be 
able  to  adapt  instruction  to  the  varying 
capacities  and  dispositions  of  different 
pupils ;  and  the  discretion  to  know  what 
to  teach,  when  to  teach,  and  how  much 
to  teach.  Aptness  to  teach  does  not 
necessarily  imply  the  highest  order  of 
scholarship,  nor  the  largest  ability  to 
understand  and  explain  a  given  lesson; 
but  the  power  to  inspire,  guide,  and 
control  pupils  in  self-culture,  and  in  the 
attainment  of  knowledge  by  their  own 
earnest  application. 


184  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

School-trustees  should  spare  no  pains, 
in  the  selection  of  teachers  for  their 
schools,  to  find  those  who  possess  these 
peculiar  gifts.  And  they  should  examine 
the  candidate  also  in  reference  to  another 
qualification;  viz.,  energy  of  character,  or 
what  is  appropriately  called  "snap." 
One  live  teacher  is  worth  a  score  of  dead 
ones.  He  will  accomplish  much  more 
work ;  and  his  presence  and  influence 
are  inspiring,  not  only  in  the  schoolroom, 
but  in  the  homes  of  the  children  and  by 
the  way.  A  live  teacher  makes  a  live 
school,  and  awakens  a  new  interest  in 
the  cause  of  popular  education  in  the 
community  where  he  resides.  This  vital 
energy  of  which  I  speak  enlivens  his 
whole  being.  It  is  seen  in  the  elasticity 
of  his  step,  and  in.  his  animated  conver 
sation.  It  flashes  from  his  eyes,  and 
streams  from  his  fingers,  as  the  red  cur 
rent  of  life  courses  rapidly  through  his 


,       THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  185 

veins,  propelled  by  a  heart,  every  fibre 
of  which  throbs  with  sympathetic  emo 
tion,  and  a  lively  interest  in  the  work  in 
which  he  is  engaged.  Energy  is  essential 
to  success  in  any  enterprise,  and  espe 
cially  in  the  difficult  and  important  work 
of  managing  and  teaching  school. 

WELL-BALANCED  MIND. 

And  the  teacher  of  our  children  should 
have  a  well-balanced  and  highly -cultivated 
mind. 

The  man  or  woman  of  "  one  idea,"  the 
mere  visionary  of  eccentric  habits,  should 
never  be  tolerated  in  the  schoolroom. 
Such  a  person  has  distorted  views  of  life, 
and  false  principles  of  action  ;  and  is  an 
unsafe  exemplar  and  guide  of  youth. 
The  educator,  above  all  men,  should  have 
a  sound  mind,  a  clear  judgment,  and  a 
comprehensive  knowledge  of  men  and 
things.  All  his  mental  faculties  should 

16* 


186  TEE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

be  fully  developed,  and  in  harmonious 
action  ;  and  this  implies  not  only  sound 
ness,  but  culture.  And  that  culture 
should  be  liberal ;  by  which  I  mean,  the 
mind  should  be  disciplined  by  hard  study, 
and  stored  by  extensive  information  gath 
ered  from  the  broad  field  of  science,  his 
tory,  and  literature.  It  is  not  enough 
that  our  teachers  understand  merely  the 
branches  to  be  taught  in  our  schools: 
they  should  be  intellectual  men  and  wo 
men,  who  have  the  power  of  systematic 
thought ;  the  power  to  analyze,  classify, 
and  reason;  and  the  power  to  employ 
their  varied  culture  and  attainments  in 
the  business  and  duties  of  practical  life. 
Such  teachers  only  are  well  furnished  for 
their  work ;  and  such  only  should  be  re 
garded  as  suitable  candidates  for  the  high 
office  which  they  are  called  to  fill. 

I  have  urged  the  desirableness  of  ex 
tensive   culture  for  all   our  teachers.     I 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  187 

must  now  insist  upon  the  necessity  of 
a  thorough  knowledge  of  the  primary 
branches.  This  implies,  first  of  all,  a 
knowledge  of  the  principles  which  under 
lie  the  science  of  arithmetic,  geography, 
grammar,  history,  &c.  These  principles, 
with  the  reasons  and  application  to  the 
science,  must  be  learned  and  made  famil 
iar,  or  the  teacher  has  no  ability  to  in 
struct  successfully.  It  is  important, 
therefore,  to  inquire  how  thoroughly  the 
candidate  (for  whatever  grade  of  school) 
has  been  trained  in  these  principles  and 

facts. 

NORMAL  TRAINING. 

But  this  is  not  enough.  Our  teachers 
must  be  professionally  trained.  We  have 
given  them  a  position  of  great  dignity ; 
have  intrusted  them  with  a  work  of  vast 
importance ;  and  we  require  of  them 
duties  of  fearful  import.  u  To  teach," 
says  Dr.  Charming,  "  whether  by  word  or 


188  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

action,  is  the  greatest  function  on  earth;" 
and  can  it  be  that  they  need  no  special 
preparation  for  their  work  ? 

We  require  of  our  physician,  our  law 
yer,  and  our  clergyman,  that  he  should  be 
professionally  educated.  It  is  not  enough 
that  he  has  been  thoroughly  drilled  in 
academic  halls ;  not  enough  that  he  has 
been  liberally  educated.  We  do  not  in 
trust  to  him  the  life  of  our  child,  unless 
he  has  studied  medicine  ;  nor  an  impor 
tant  suit  in  chancery,  unless  he  has  studied 
law ;  nor  do  we  regard  him  qualified  to 
preach  the  gospel,  unless  he  has  studied 
theology. 

Yea,  more.  We  require  a  professional 
training  for  the  common  mechanic,  the 
farmer,  the  sailor,  and  indeed  for  every 
art,  trade,  and  occupation.  We  do  not 
allow  a  man  to  build  a  house,  to  cultivate 
a  farm,  to  navigate  a  ship,  to  shoe  a 
horse,  to  repair  a  watch,  nor  even  to 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  189 

shave  the  hair  from  the  chin,  who  has  not 
served  an  apprenticeship  in  order  to 
learn  the  special  art  we  expect  him  to 
practise. 

Now,  "  teaching  is  an  art,  and  the 
teacher  an  artist,1'  —  an  art  of  the  greatest 
difficulty  and  highest  importance.  And 
shall  we  continue  to  intrust  the  business 
of  educating  our  children  to  those  who 
have  had  no  opportunity  for  normal  in 
struction  ?  —  to  the  mere  novice,  simply 
because  she  knows  a  little  of  arithmetic, 
geography,  and  grammar  ?  Nothing  can 
be  more  inconsistent  and  unwise  than  to 
assign  a  work  so  important  to  those  who 
have  no  skill,  and  who  have  been  un 
taught  in  the  profession. 

We  have  our  schools  of  law,  of  medi 
cine,  and  of  divinity.  We  regard  them 
as  a  necessity.  We  require  an  appren 
ticeship  in  every  trade,  and  in  every  kind 
of  business.  This,  too,  is  highly  appro- 


190  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

priate  and  necessary  to  the  end  in  view. 
We  expect  none  to  undertake  the  duties 
of  these  professions  or  trades  who  have 
not  had  this  special  preparation.  But, 
until  within  a  few  years,  no  provision 
was  made  for  the  professional  training  of 
teachers  ;  nor  was  it  regarded  of  any  im 
portance.  The  impression  prevailed  that 
anybody  could  keep  school;  and  hence 
anybody  who  would  serve  an  ignorant 
constituency  in  this  menial  office  for  a 
very  small  compensation  was  employed. 
But  I  trust  a  ~  brighter  day  has  dawned. 
Normal  schools  have,  at  length,  been  es 
tablished  in  nearly  every  State  in  the 
Union,  and  a  multitude  of  teachers  have 
been  gathered  into  them.  Still,  only  a 
small  part  of  the  teachers  of  our  public 
schools  have  yet  been  reached.  And  this 
is  not  the  worst  feature  of  the  case. 
The  majority  do  not  feel  its  importance. 
They  can  secure  their  certificates,  fulfil 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  191 

their  engagements,  and  receive  their 
wages ;  and  hence  they  are  satisfied. 

The  great  responsibility  in  this  matter, 
after  all,  rests  upon  parents.  They  do 
not  demand  the  professionally-educated 
teachers.  They  too  often  prefer  those 
not  qualified,  if  only  they  will  consent  to 
work  for  less  pay,  and  submit  to  more 
hardships.  Let  it  be  understood  through 
out  our  country  that  no  candidates  for 
the  teacher's  office  will  be  accepted  un 
less  they  are  normally  educated,  as  it  is 
understood  that  no  one  can  practise  medi 
cine  unless  he  has  studied  the  "healing 
art,"  and  soon  normal  schools  would  be 
multiplied,  and  all  filled  by  earnest  stu 
dents  preparing  themselves  for  the  impor 
tant  work. 

It  is  the  duty  of  parents,  therefore,  to 
demand  of  their  teachers  higher  qualifi 
cations.  If  not  educated  at  the  normal 
school,  they  should  be  professionally  edu 


192  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

cated  somewhere  and  in  some  way. 
Then  would  teaching  become  a  profes 
sion  in  the  same  sense  as  law  or  medi 
cine  ;  and  our  schools  would  be  ele 
vated  to  a  position  which  their  impor 
tance  demands,  and  to  a  usefulness  so 
much  to  be  desired. 

A  NOBLE  MAISTHOOD. 

But  the  crowning  excellence  of  the 
well-qualified  teacher  is  a  noble  manhood 
or  womanhood.  We  desire  to  make  men 
and  women  of  our  children.  How  can 
we  hope  to  do  this,  except  through  the 
example,  influence,  and  instruction  of 
true  manliness  or  womanliness  at  home 
and  in  the  schoolroom  ?  Instructors 
should  possess  such  qualities  and  princi 
ples  as  may  be  safely  copied  by  their 
pupils.  They  should  have  physical 
vigor,  gracefulness  of  manners,  a  highly- 
cultivated  and  well-furnished  mind,  a 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  193 

heart  full  of  noble  sentiments  and  swell 
ing  with  generous  emotions,  and  a  char 
acter  founded  upon  Christian  principle 
and  above  suspicion.  These  virtues  we 
may  hope  to  see  ingrafted  upon  our  chil 
dren.  Sure  we  may  be  that  all  the  vices 
of  the  teacher  will  be  copied  by  his 
pupils. 

To  illustrate,  I  may  recall  the  story 
of  the  china  plate.  A  fanciful  house 
wife  chanced  to  find  among  the  waste 
crockery  of  her  hardware  merchant  a 
style  and  figure  of  plate  which  greatly 
pleased  her.  This  specimen  was  badly 
cracked  and  marred:  but  it  showed  an 
exquisitely  fine  design ;  and  she  at  once 
decided  to  send  the  plate  to  China,  to 
have  a  set  manufactured  exactly  like  the 
pattern.  This  was  her  order ;  and  it  was 
executed  accordingly.  Imagine  the  mor 
tification  of  the  good  lady,  on  receiving 
her  goods,  to  find  the  imitation  so  perfect, 

17 


194  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

that  all  the  defects  of  the  old  plate  had 
been  wrought  into  the  new ! 

So  parents  may  expect  the  reproduc 
tion  of  the  teacher  in  their  children, 
with  all  the  spots  and  stains  which  are 
found  upon  his  character.  Let  them  look 
well,  therefore,  to  the  qualifications  of 
those  to  whom  they  intrust  so  important 
a  charge. 

FEMALE  TEACHERS 

have  taken  the  field  of  education  as 
by  conquest.  More  than  two-thirds  of 
the  public  schools  of  our  land  are  man 
aged  and  taught  by  women.  A  change 
was  produced  by  the  war  of  the  Rebel 
lion,  which  called  into  military  service  a 
large  number  of  young  men  who  had 
been  employed  in  teaching.  But  the  rea 
son  why  women  are  and  will  be  retained 
in  the  schools  is  found  in  the  fact  that 
they  are  peculiarly  fitted  for  the  business 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  195 

of  teaching.  Woman  is  the  divinely  ap 
pointed  teacher  of  her  race.  She  has 
natural  endowments  and  special  fitness 
for  the  work  in  the  school  as  well  as  in 
the  family.  She  has  proved  herself  not 
only  uapt  to  teach,"  but  also  capable  of 
managing  and  governing  successfully. 
Her  quick  sensibilities,  ardent  sympathies, 
natural  love  for  the  true,  the  beautiful, 
and  the  good,  her  patience,  perseverance, 
and  enthusiasm,  eminently  qualify  her 
for  this  important  field  of  labor.  Chil 
dren  are  drawn  to  her  as  by  a  natural  in 
stinct:  they  trust  in  her  with  implicit 
confidence. 

Hence  woman  is  especially  adapted  to 
the  primary  and  intermediate  schools. 
In  selecting  a  teacher,  the  woman  of 
equal  qualifications  should  always  be 
preferred  to  the  man  for  either  depart 
ment.  She  has  also  honored  the  profes 
sion  in  important  positions  in  the  acad- 


196  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

emy  and  seminary ;  and,  in  some  instances, 
at  the  head  of  these  institutions. 

As  a  class,  woman  has  a  higher  stand 
ard  of  morals  and  manners.  She  does 
not  "  smoke,"  nor  "drink,"  nor  "swear," 
nor  waste  her  time  loafing  in  places  of 
public  resort.  And  she  has  more  refined 
feelings  and  manners ;  and  therefore  she 
has  more  power  to  gain  the  affections  and 
win  the  confidence  of  the  young  who  are 
ready  to  profit  by  the  influence  of  her 
correct  habits  and  good  example. 

And  woman  is  not  only  adapted  to  the 
care  and  instruction  of  children  in  the 
family  and  school,  but  has  the  capacity 
for  that  broad  and  thorough  culture 
which  is  essential  to  the  position  she 
occupies.  Both  in  the  academic  and 
normal  course  of  studies,  she  is  quite  the 
equal  of  her  brother.  The  difficulty  has 
been,  she  has  lacked  the  opportunity  to 
improve  and  elevate  herself.  And  to-day 


THE   CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  197 

there  is  no  one  thing  more  important  to 
the  welfare  of  the  rising  generation  than 
the  liberal  education  of  woman.  She 
must  mould  the  family,  and  give  charac 
ter  to  the  children  and  youth  as  they  will 
be  found  in  the  school  and  as  citizens  in 
the  State.  She  is  relied  upon,  and  must 
be,  chiefly,  to  manage  and  instruct  our 
public  schools.  This  fact  is  not  to  be 
regretted,  but  should  be  urged  as  a  new 
plea  for  her  elevation  through  culture. 
The  schools  will  be  better  taught  and 
better  managed  under  her  control  just 
as  soon  as  she  is  allowed  time  and 
opportunity  to  make  the  necessary  prep 
aration.  And  one  of  the  most  important 
duties  which  parents  owe  to  their  chil 
dren,  in  their  relations  to  the  school,  is, 
to  provide  for  the  education  of  these 
teachers.  They  should  not  only  seek 
those  to  instruct  their  schools  who  have 
the  best  qualifications,  but  should  provide 

17* 


198  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

training-schools  of  high,  order,  that  all 
may  be  thoroughly  fitted  for  their  work. 
The  elevation  of  the  teacher  is  the  eleva 
tion  of  the  school,  and  the  surest  way  to 
secure  the  highest  improvement  of  the 
children.  Parents  in  every  State  in  the 
Union,  in  every  county,  and  in  every 
district,  one  and  all,  are  therefore  espe 
cially  interested  in  building  up  and  sus 
taining  the  Normal  School. 

PEBMASTENCY  DESIEABLE. 

Still  another  important  suggestion  to 
parents  in  this  connection  is  the  perma 
nency  of  their  teachers.  If  any  are  so 
unfortunate  as  to  select  a  poor  teacher 
for  their  school,  the  quicker  she  is  ex 
changed,  the  better  for  all  concerned ; 
but,  if  efficient  and  desirable,  let  her  be 
retained  as  long  as  possible.  The  habit 
of  changing  teachers,  as  practised  in 
many  districts,  twice  or  three  times 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  199 

every  year,  is  ruinous  to  the  school. 
What  can  the  teacher,  who  enters  the 
school  for  one  term  only,  know  of  the 
character  and  peculiarities  of  her  pupils  ? 
What  motive  can  she  have  to  adopt  and 
attempt  to  carry  out  a  systematic  course 
of  instruction,  when  she  knows  that  her 
successor  will  be  likely  to  introduce  an 
entirely  different  course  ?  What  can 
awaken  interest  in  her  pupils,  or  en 
thusiasm  in  herself,  when  she  realizes 
that  her  work  may  be  undone  as  soon 
as  she  leaves  it?  And  what  can  the 
school  do  to  advantage,  when  nearly  all 
their  time  is  spent  in  experimenting 
upon  new  theories  and  methods  of  in 
struction? 

But,  with  the  permanent  teacher,  every 
thing  is  different.  On  re-opening  her 
school  after  a  vacation,  she  is  cordially 
greeted  by  loving  and  confiding  pupils. 
She  knows  every  class  and  every  scholar, 


200  THE  PARENTS'    MANUAL. 

and  understands  their  peculiarities  and 
their  wants.  On  the  day  of  opening,  the 
school  can  be  completely  organized,  and 
in  good  working  order.  All  enter  upon 
their  duties  with  interest  and  zeal ;  and 
the  experience  of  previous  terms  in  the 
same  position  enables  the  teacher  to 
adapt  her  instruction  to  the  character  and 
standing  of  her  pupils,  and  the  best 
results  are  realized. 

So  it  is  in  every  kind  of  business,  as  all 
understand.  No  business-firm  would,  if 
they  could  avoid  it,  allow  a  quarterly 
exchange  of  book-keepers  in  their  mer 
cantile-houses,  of  agents  and  overseers  in 
their  factories,  of  financiers  in  their  banks, 
of  masters  for  their  merchantmen,  of 
commanders  for  their  iron-clads,  or  of 
engineers  for  their  railroads.  Business 
men  make  no  such  blunders.  And  yet 
the  changes  here  indicated  would  be  no 
more  disastrous  than  frequent  changes  of 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  201 

teachers.  We  need,  first  efficiency,  and 
then  permanency.  Failing  to  abide  this 
principle,  at  least  fifty  per  cent  of  the 
real  profit  of  our  schools,  for  the  last  fifty 
years,  has  been  lost. 

PUBLIC  SCHOOLS  AND  A  FREE  STATE. 

I  have  elsewhere  argued  the  impor 
tance  of  the  family  in  its  relations  to  the 
State ;  and  have  urged  fidelity  in  family 
discipline,  that  the  children  may  be  fitted 
for  the  important  duties  of  citizenship. 
I  now  come  to  consider  the  public  school 
in  its  relations  to  our  free  government. 

The  character  of  the  school  is  deter 
mined  by  the  character  of  the  families  of 
which  it  is  composed ;  and  the  State  must 
become  what  the  family  and  school  have 
made  it. 

The  American  common  school,  as 
planted  in  New  England  and  transplanted 
in  every  free  State  in  the  Union,  is,  in  an 


202  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

important  sense,  a  political  institution,  and 
the  very  corner-stone  of  our  government. 
It  is  not  a  purely  scholastic,  domestic,  nor 
ecclesiastic  institution;  and  yet  it  has 
a  close  connection  with  the  university, 
the  family,  and  the  church.  In  it  the 
American  people  have  their  first  drill  in 
public  life.  The  child  who  enters  the 
public  schoolroom  for  the  first  time 
knows  public  life;  and  there  can  be  no 
substitute  for  the  peculiar  education  in 
citizenship  he  there  receives.  A  public 
school  in  America  is  a  little  republic, 
where  children  of  all  orders  of  society, 
and  every  grade  of  culture,  are  taught  to 
live  together  under  a  common  system  of 
law,  governed  by  public  officials  whose 
authority  is  backed  by  the  whole  power 
of  the  State.  There,  during  the  period 
of  school-life,  he  rehearses  every  phase  of 
the  public  life  of  his  country.  There  he 
receives  that  mental  illumination  and 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  203 

rudimentary  knowledge  which  help  him 
to  be  an  intelligent  citizen.  There  he 
gains  the  more  important  instruction  in 
personal  character  as  related  to  others 
living  under  law.  There  he  learns  how 
to  conduct  himself  in  his  relations  to  his 
fellow-men,  and  to  respect  their  rights. 

When  we  consider  the  exclusiveness 
of  family-life,  the  clannish  tendency  of  all 
business-connections,  the  violent  preju 
dices  that  influence  individual  members 
of  homes,  churches,  and  professional 
cliques,  we  can  realize  the  importance  of 
that  generous  discipline  of  manhood  and 
womanhood  which  alone  can  fit  our  chil 
dren  for  American  citizenship.  The 
public  school  only  can  instruct  the 
masses  of  American  people  in  what  per 
tains  to  public  character  and  public  virtue. 
It  stands  next  above  the  family ;  and  is 
the  first  step  out  of  that  divine  institu 
tion  into  that  other  divine  organization, 


204  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

the  State.  And,  if  we  can  determine 
what  is  the  most  essential  element  of 
our  national  prosperity,  we  shall  under 
stand  what  is  the  most  important  lesson 
to  be  taught  in  our  public  schools.  And 
can  any  doubt  that  that  element  is  pub 
lic  virtue,  and  that  lesson  the  morality 
of  the  Bible?  There  was  no  question, 
among  our  wise,  practical,  and  devout 
ancestors  who  established  the  American 
public  school,  about  its  right  and  imper 
ative  duty  to  teach  morality,  and  so 
much  of  religious  truth  as  is  essential  to 
it.  Indeed,  the  original  common  school 
of  our  free  States  was  a  seminary  of  ear 
nest  moral  patriotism.  Moral  instruction 
bore  a  large  proportion  to  the  entire 
work  of  the  school.  The  Bible  was  the 
reading-book.  The  master  who  failed  to 
maintain  a  high  standard  of  character, 
and  who  could  not  preserve  order,  was 
turned  out.  The  sermons,  exhortations, 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  205 

and  prayers  in  the  schoolroom  were 
often  more  effective  for  the  youthful  con 
gregation  than  those  emanating  from  the 
pulpit.  This  emphasis  on  moral  and  pa 
triotic  culture  in  the  old  schoolhouse  was 
one  of  the  most  powerful  elements  of  our 
national  success. 

The  common  school  of  our  day  has 
made  great  progress  in  the  line  of  out 
ward  accommodations,  and  methods  of 
scientific  and  literary  instruction ;  but  we 
may  fear  that  it  is  losing  its  original 
power  as  the  national  teacher  of  public 
character.  As  a  scientific  agency,  it  has 
been  prodigiously  enlarged;  but  it  is  in 
danger  of  losing  that  which  once  made 
it  our  national  sheet-anchor,  as  the  natu 
ral  teacher  of  public  virtue,  and  the 
training-school  of  American  citizenship. 
Intellectual  brilliancy  is  too  often,  un 
der  the  name  of  "culture,"  allowed  to 
override  every  thing.  Instruction  in 

18 


206  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

morals  and  patriotism  are  too  much  neg 
lected. 

Our  government  is  founded  upon  the 
principles  of  Christianity ;  and  hence  the 
Bible,  which  is  our  text-book  of  Christian 
morals,  should  not  only  be  retained,  but 
faithfully  taught  in  our  schools,  not  to 
impart  dogmas  and  creeds,  but  to  im 
press  its  own  purifying  and  life-giving 
precepts  upon  the  tender  heart  of  child 
hood.  The  personal  and  religious  char 
acter  of  our  teachers  should  be  a  matter 
of  earnest  solicitude  and  inquiry  on  the 
part  of  those  who  are  intrusted  with  the 
guardianship  of  public  instruction. 

The  people's  school  should  be  cher 
ished  as  a  national  birthright :  it  should 
be  located  upon  every  hill-top  and  in 
every  valley,  throughout  the  length  and 
breadth  of  this  vast  country ;  it  should 
receive  the  fostering  care  of  our  state 
and  central  governments  ;  it  should  laing 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  207 

within  its  enclosure,  for  culture  and  in 
struction,  all  children  of  school-age,  and 
of  every  sect  and  condition  in  life;  for 
all  are  to  become  citizens,  to  share  the 
responsibility  and  to  enjoy  the  blessings 
of  our  free  institutions. 

Every  effort  of  mistaken  or  misguided 
men  to  subvert  the  public  school,  to 
change  its  character  and  office,  and  to 
turn  it  to  secular  and  partisan  purposes, 
should  be  firmly  and  earnestly  resisted. 
Our  laws  guarantee  to  all  religious  free 
dom.  Every  man,  and  class  of  men,  are 
protected  in  the  enjoyment  of  their  own 
religious  views,  and  modes  of  worship. 
Hence  it  is  not  proper  that  the  public 
school,  established  for  the  education  of 
tlie  whole  people,  should  be  under  eccle 
siastical  and  partisan  control. 

Now,  if  we  would  cherish  and  sustain 
our  free  government,  and  preserve  untar 
nished  for  coining  generations  the  bless- 


208  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ings  which  it  is  calculated  to  bestow,  we 
must  turn  back  to  the  common  school 
bequeathed  us  by  our  fathers,  which 
took  under  its  guardianship  the  public 
morals,  and  inculcated  the  pure  princi 
ples  of  patriotism.  We  must  cling  to 
the  Bible,  the  true  source  of  all  moral 
instruction,  and  insist  upon  instilling  its 
conservative  and  purifying  principles 
into  the  minds  and  hearts  of  our  chil 
dren,  and  ingrafting  them  into  their 
lives.  The  present  form  of  government 
in  America  is  the  logical  growth  of  a 
Christian  civilization  which  would  be 
impossible  without  the  Christian  morality 
found  in  the  New  Testament.  All  our 
great  political  conflicts  are  essentially 
moral;  and  we  must  realize  the  truth, 
that  we  have  no  security  in  the  present  or 
the  future,  except  in  the  faithful  training 
of  our  children,  in  the  family  and  the 
school,  according  to  the  genius  and  spirit 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  209 

of  our  peculiar  institutions.  To  cast  off 
this  duty  of  the  State  to  teach  public 
virtue  and  Christian  patriotism  in  her 
schools  would  be  a  criminal  surrender  of 
important  principles  and  our  dearest 
rights,  and  would  result  in  nothing  less 
than  political  suicide. 

COMPTJXSOBY 


Our  children  belong  to  the  State. 
They  will  become  citizens  of  this  great 
republic:  and  if  it  is  true,  as  I  have 
asserted,  that  the  public  school  alone  can 
instruct  them  in  what  pertains  to  public 
character  and  public  virtue  ;  if  here 
alone  we  can  hope  to  give  them  that  cul 
ture  and  intelligence  which  are  necessary 
to  -American  citizenship,  —  it  must  follow 
that  the  common  school  is  a  necessity, 
and  that  its  object  will  not  be  accom 
plished  until  all  the  children  in  the  nation 
shall  enjoy  its  advantages. 


18* 


210  TEE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

Just  here  comes  in  the  plea  for  compul 
sory  education. 

The  necessity  for  universal  intelligence 
and  virtue  to  the  perpetuity  of  a  free 
government  was  understood  and  pro 
vided  for  by  our  Pilgrim  ancestors. 
Their  first  and  greatest  efforts  were  made 
in  this  direction.  They  established  the 
public  school  for  the  very  purpose  of  im 
parting  to  the  masses  gratuitous  primary 
instruction  and  the  morality  of  the  Bible ; 
but  they  failed  to  see  the  importance  of 
making  attendance  upon  these  schools 
obligatory.  Hence  thousands  upon  thou 
sands  of  unthinking  or  ungrateful  par 
ents  in  every  free  State  in  the  Union 
have  allowed  their  children  to  grow  up 
in  ignorance  and  vice,  to  their  own  in 
jury  and  the  peril  of  the  republic. 
Conscious  of  this  mistake,  and  of  the 
alarming  evils  resulting  from  it,  several, 
of  our  States  have  already  added  a 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  211 

compulsory  clause  to  their  school-laws ; 
and  when  the  whole  American  people 
shall  have  reached  the  same  conclusion, 
and  a  general  law  compelling  school- 
attendance  shall  have  been  enacted,  the 
task  of  government  will  be  much  easier, 
and  the  results  flowing  from  popular  rule 
will  be  much  more  hopeful  as  the  moral 
tone  of  the  nation  is  elevated. 

United  Germany  and  Switzerland  owe 
their  greatest  strength  and  security  to 
that  feature  of  their  laws  which  compels 
parents  to  educate  their  children;  and 
such  a  law  is  equally  consistent  with 
the  genius  of  our  own  government. 

Our  school-system  was  established,  and 
has  been  maintained,  under  the  superin 
tendence  of  State  authority.  We  com 
pel  our  citizens  to  pay  school-taxes,  to 
build  and  furnish  schoolhouses,  employ 
teachers,  and  procure  books ;  and  may 
we  not  with  as  much  reason  compel 


212  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

them  to  -allow  their  children  to  avail 
themselves  of  the  advantages  thus  pro 
vided?  The  public  weal  demands  the 
school  as  a  means  of  safety ;  and,  to  the 
same  end,  it  demands  attendance  upon 
this  school.  A  free  State  has  a  right  to 
maintain  its  own  freedom  by  compulsory 
laws ;  and  hence  it  has  the  right,  and 
it  is  its  duty,  to  compel  intelligence  in 
every  instance  where  ignorance  would 
be  the  result  of  voluntary  action. 

And  the  propriety  of  compulsory  laws 
in  a  republican  form  of  government  may 
be  seen  by  still  further  examples,  drawn 
from  our  own  statute-books.  The  preser 
vation  of  the  State  requires  a  military 
force  which  the  executive  may  raise  and 
control  at  discretion.  The  army  and  navy 
are  necessary  to  repel  invasion,  and  sub 
due  rebellion ;  and  we  find  provision 
made  in  our  laws  for  either  emergency. 
We  not  only  have  a .  standing  army  und 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  213 

navy  subject  to  the  absolute  control  of 
our  President,  but  a  militia  composed  of 
our  able-bodied  citizens,  who  are  subject 
to  a  compulsory  draft  for  military  service. 
But  is  it  consistent  with  personal  freedom 
under  a  free  government  to  compel  a 
citizen  to  leave  his  home,  his  family,  and 
his  business,  to  enter  upon  the  hard  and 
dangerous  service  of  the  camp  and  the 
battle-field  for  the  good  of  his  country, 
and  not  consistent  to  compel  him  to  edu 
cate  his  children  in  the  free  public 
schools  to  the  same  end? 

May  we  compel  a  child  to  enter  the 
State  Reform  School,  or  House  of  Correc 
tion,  and  not  rightfully  compel  him  to 
attend  the  public  school,  which  may  pre 
vent  the  crime  he  has  committed?  May 
we  inflict  severe  penalties  upon  those  who 
have  outraged  the  community  by  their 
crimes,  and  not  be  allowed  to  enforce  the 
education  of  that  class  of  children  and 


214  77IE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

youth  from  which  nine- tenths  of  all  our 
criminals  come  ? 

Every  law  is  an  infringement  upon  the 
personal  freedom  of  that  citizen  who  is 
disposed  to  violate  it ;  but  such  personal 
liberty  must  be  restrained,  and  such  laws 
must  be  enforced  as  have  in  view  the  good 
of  the  State. 

Our  free  government  is  based  upon 
the  principle  of  freedom  under  law.  It 
guarantees  the  right  of  every  citizen  to 
do  as  he  pleases,  so  long  as  he  pleases  to 
do  right.  It  restrains  him  from  doing 
what  is  wrong,  so  far  as  that  wrong 
inflicts  an  injury  upon  the  State.  Judged 
by  this  principle,  no  man  has  any  right 
to  allow  his  children  to  grow  up  in  idle 
ness,  ignorance,  and  vice.  The  State  has 
provided  the  opportunity  for  their  free 
education ;  and,  if  they  do  not  improve  it, 
they  become  a  source  of  social  danger. 
Idleness  and  ignorance  are  sure  condi- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  215 

tions  of  vice  and   crime;  and  these  are 
elements  of  national  decay. 

It  becomes  the  imperative  duty  of  par 
ents,  therefore,  not  only  to  provide  the 
best  advantages  for  the  education  of 
their  children  in  free  public  schools,  but 
also  to  see  to  it  that  such  a  law  is  enacted 
and  enforced  as  will  insure  the  education 
of  every  man's  children  in  the  neighbor 
hood  and  State. 

PABENTS'  RELATIONS  TO  TEACHEBS. 

Parents  have  special  duties  to  perform 
in  the  relations  they  sustain  to  their 
teachers.  If  well  qualified  and  faithful, 
as  we  demand,  these  teachers  have  a 
right  to  claim  fidelity  and  co-operation  on 
the  part  of  their  employers. 

They  should  receive  fair  compensation 
for  their  valuable  services. 

I  see  no  reason  why  teaching  should  not 
be  as  remunerative  as  other  professional 


216  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

labor,  which  is  estimated  not  only  as  ser 
vice,  but  in  view  of  the  time  and  money 
spent  in  preparation.  It  is  an  admitted 
principle,  that  wages  should  be  increased 
in  proportion  to  the  knowledge  and  skill 
attained  in  every  department  of  industry. 

Common  physical  labor  has  its  value ; 
and  the  same  labor,  when  directed  by 
that  intelligence  and  special  ability  which 
qualify  for  leadership,  as  master-work 
men,  may  demand  more  compensation. 
And  if  the  preparation  for  the  desired 
service  requires  special  training ;  if  years 
of  time  and  much  money  are  necessary 
to  make  that  service  available,  as  in  the 
learned  professions,  —  salaries  are  raised 
accordingly. 

Hence  the  superintendent  may  receive 
much  more  than  the  common  operative ; 
the  physician  may  demand  as  much  for  a 
single  visit  as  his  patient  would  receive 
for  a  day's  labor ;  and  the  lawyer  for  an 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  217 

hour's  pleading,  as  much  as  his  client  for 
a  month's  service. 

It  must  follow,  therefore,  that  the  well- 
qualified  teacher  should  receive  more  pay 
than  the  common  day-laborer  or  the 
illiterate  household  drudge.  And  yet,  in 
times  past,  this  principle  has  not  been 
recognized ;  and  our  public  school-teach 
ers  have  been  so  poorly  paid,  that  the  bet 
ter  class  have,  in  many  instances,  sought 
other  and  more  lucrative  employments. 
It  is  hoped  that  wiser  counsels  will  pre 
vail,  and  that  parents  everywhere  will 
see  not  only  the  propriety,  but  the  neces 
sity,  of  employing  the  best  teachers  at 
their  command,  and  paying  them  liberally 
for  their  services. 

And  teachers  should  have  provided  for 
them  a  permanent  and  pleasant  home  in 
the  district  where  they  teach. 

I  will  not  deny  that  there  are  some 
advantages  in  the  old  practice  of  board- 

19 


218  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

ing  the  schoolmaster  "around."*  He  is 
thus  compelled  to  form  an  intimate 
acquaintance  with  his  patrons,  and  to 
learn  the  peculiarities  and  wants  of  each 
family.  He  may  thus  gain  influence  and 
power  in  the  management  of  his  school 
by  securing  the  confidence  and  co-opera 
tion  of  his  pupils  and  their  parents. 
Still  all  these  social  advantages  can  be 
gained,  without  the  evil  contemplated,  by 
visiting  these  families  at  their  homes,  as 
the  teacher  should  always  do. 

No  one  more  needs  the  conveniences 
and  comforts  of  a  home  than  the  labo 
rious  and  care-worn  instructress  of  our 
children.  She  needs  it  for  rest  and  com 
fort  while  she  can  be  released  from  the 
excitement  and  toil  of  the  schoolroom. 


*  The  author  is  aware  that  the  habit  of  boarding  the 
teacher  round  is  much  less  common  than  years  ago.  Still 
it  prevails  in  the  rural  districts  to  some  extent,  and 
hence  should  receive  a  passing  notice  in  this  connection. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  219 

She  needs  it  that  she  may  have  time  and 
opportunity  to  prepare  herself  for  her 
important  school-duties.  And  she  needs  it 
in  common  with  all  other  civilized  human 
beings  ;  as  u  there  is  no  place  like  home," 
even  though  it  be  substituted  and  tempo 
rary. 

What  should  we  think  of  the  church 
that  should  require  their  pastor  to  board 
among  his  parishioners ;  that  should  com 
pel  him  to  feel  that  he  has  among  his 
people  "no  abiding-place,"  but  must  go 
with  his  wife  and  children  from  house  to 
house  to  get  his  daily  bread  ?  How 
much  time  would  such  a  minister  have 
to  prepare  himself  for  his  pulpit-services  ? 
Indeed,  how  greatly  would  his  usefulness 
be  abridged  by  such  a  foolish  effort  on 
the  part  of  his  parish  to  economize ! 

And  suppose  the  village  doctor  was 
required  to  board  among  his  patients  ? 
Such  an  idea  would  be  ridiculed  as  pre- 


220  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

posterous ;  but  why  more  unreasonable 
to  require  the  minister  and  doctor  to 
board  in  twenty  different  families  every 
three  months  than  to  require  the  school 
master  and  school-mistress  to  do  the 
same? 

The  teacher  needs  a  steady,  pleasant 
home ;  and  it  is  not  only  the  imperative 
duty  but  the  best  policy  of  trustees  to 
provide  such  a  home. 

Again :  every  teacher  should  be  allowed 
to  manage  his  own  school.  If  not  com 
petent  to  do  so,  he  should  not  have  been 
employed.  If  a  mistake  has  been  made, 
and  an  incompetent  person  engaged,  the 
difficulty  will  not  be  removed  by  the  in 
terference  of  parents. 

Teachers  often  seek  advice,  and  may 
profit  by  it ;  but  any  effort  on  the  part  of 
parents  to  dictate  and  control  in  the  mat 
ter  of  school-management  is  not  only  un 
wise,  but  ruinous.  The  teacher  totf  often 


THE  CHILDREN-  AT  SCHOOL.  221 

finds  among  his  patrons  those  who  pre 
sume  to  give  gratuitous  information  and 
counsel.  Mrs.  A.,  in  a  very  friendly  spirit, 
informs  him  that  her  neighbor  has  some 
very  bad  boys  who  always  make  trouble 
in  school,  and  warns  him  to  be  on  his 
guard.  Mrs.  C.  thinks  it  important  that 
he  should  know  how  sensitive  the  parents 
in  that  district  are  on  the  subject  of 
corporal  punishment,  and  advises  him  to 
govern  mainly  by  moral  suasion.  She 
assures  him,  if  he  will  do  so,  he  will  be 
popular  and  successful. 

Mrs.  L.,  an  old  school-teacher,  has,  in 
her  own  estimation,  some  excellent  ideas 
upon  different  methods  of  instruction ; 
and  she  is  very  anxious  that  the  master 
should  adopt  them  in  that  school.  So  the 
meddlesome  mischief  -  making  goes  on, 
until  the  young  teacher  is  distracted  and 
perplexed  beyond  measure ;  and  as  he 
cannot,  if  he  would,  listen  to  the  sugges- 

19* 


222  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

tions  nor  follow  the  advice  of  all,  he  is 
sure  to  become  the  subject  of  tea-party 
gossip,  and  of  village  criticism  and  abuse, 
such  as  will  greatly  interfere  with  his  use 
fulness,  if  it  does  not  prevent  his  success, 
in  that  district. 

Wise  teachers  pay  no  attention  to  such 
unwarrantable  interference  ;  and  wise 
parents  allow  and  encourage  the  teacher 
to  manage  his  own  school  in  his  own  way. 

Another  important  idea :  Parents 
should  always  sustain  the  teacher  in  main 
taining  his  authority  in  the  school.  That 
authority  is  supreme,  and  may  never  be 
trifled  with  by  the  pupil. 

Unconditional  obedience  in  the  school, 
as  well  as  in  the  family,  is  the  rule  ;  and 
the  teacher  has  a  right  to  expect  the 
cordial  support  of  all  his  patrons  in 
enforcing  that  rule.  The  best  good  of 
the  child,  as  well  as  the  success  of  the 
school,  depends  upon  this  co-operation. 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  223 

Parents  are  too  often  ready  to  listen  to 
the  complaints  of  their  children,  and  to 
sympathize  with  them  in  rebellion  against 
the  authority  of  the  school.  It  would  be 
better  never  to  allow  such  fault-finding ; 
never  to  criticise,  but  always  to  sustain 
the  teacher  in  the  presence  of  children. 
If  they  can  have  the  encouragement  of 
parents  in  their  recklessness  at  school,  they 
will  become  bold  and  defiant,  and  will 
paralyze,  if  they  do  not  destroy,  the  influ 
ence  and  efforts  even  of  the  best  teachers. 

But  grant  that  the  teacher  is  in  fault ; 
that  he  is  really  inefficient,  and  the  school 
comparatively  worthless :  it  is  better  to 
sustain  even  a  poor  teacher  for  months 
than  to  allow  the  pupils  to  have  any 
agency  in  breaking  up  the  school.  If  an 
incompetent  teacher  is  to  be  dismissed,  it 
should  be  done  by  the  independent  action 
of  the  district,  and  not  at  the  suggestion 
or  by  the  aid  of  pupils  in  rebellion.  Let 


224  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

them  be  kept  in  subjection  by  whatever 
means  necessary,  without  regard  to  the  ef 
ficiency  or  inefficiency  of  the  government 
in  power.  Obedience  and  fidelity  are 
required  of  them  in  all  their  relations 
to  the  school,  no  matter  under  what 
circumstances  they  are  placed.  If  all 
parents  should  take  this  view  of  the 
subject,  and  so  co-operate  and  sustain 
their  teachers,  our  public  schools  would 
be  vastly  more  efficient  and  useful  than 
they  ever  have  been ;  the  spirit  of  in 
subordination  which  has  manifested  itself 
to  an  alarming  extent  within  a  few  years 
past,  in  our  public  schools,  academies,  and 
colleges,  would  soon  be  crushed  out ;  and 
our  children,  as  they  come  up  to  assume 
the  responsibilities  of  life,  would  become 
obedient  and  loyal  citizens,  and  faithful 
subjects  under  the  government  of  God. 
We  little  realize  how  much  the  discipline 
of  the  family  and  the  school  have  4o  do 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  225 

in  forming  the  character  and  habits  of 
the  future  man  and  woman  as  they  will 
appear  in  their  relations  to  the  State 
and  under  the  divine  law.  Mothers  and 
teachers,  under  God,  make  them  what 
they  are,  and  through  them  determine 
the  character  and  destiny  of  the  nation. 

Again :  parents  should  encourage  their 
teacher  by  manifesting  a  real  interest  in 
his  work,  and  by  a  hearty  co-operation 
in  all  his  efforts  to  benefit  the  school. 
Such  sympathy  and  aid  have  their  influ 
ence,  not  only  upon  the  teacher,  but  upon 
the  school.  Children  are  creatures  of 
impulse.  They  are  greatly  influenced  by 
circumstances,  and  in  school-matters  by 
nothing  more  than  by  the  interest  or 
apathy  manifested  by  their  parents. 

It  must  follow,  therefore,  that  if  parents 
would  see  their  schools  prosper,  and  their 
children  rising  from  grade  to  grade  in  a 
thorough  and  systematic  course  of  study, 


226  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

they  must  manifest  a  deep  interest  and 
an  earnest  enthusiasm  in  every  thing  that 
pertains  to  the  school. 

They  do  not  expect  success  in  any 
other  enterprise  without  oversight  and 
interest.  The  tea-party,  the  sewing-circle, 
the  missionary-association,  which  are  or 
ganized  in  every  community  for  social 
and  benevolent  purposes,  could  not  pros 
per  without  the  earnest  attention  of  the 
mothers  and  matrons  who  are  interested 
in  them.  No  farmer  w^ould  intrust  the 
training  of  his  animals  to  exhibit  at  a 
county-fair  or  upon  the  race-ground 
without  a  personal  supervision,  and  a  deep 
interest  manifested  in  every  stage  of 
progress.  The  servants  who  have  the 
direct  care  of  these  animals  are  encour 
aged  by  words  of  approval  and  praise, 
and  an  abiding  sympathy  in  all  the 
details  of  the  process.  And  can  it  be  a 
matter  of  less  importance  and  of  less 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  227 

interest  to  parents  that  their  own  chil 
dren  are  under  the  process  of  training 
for  the  stage  of  life  and  for  immortality  ? 
and  can  they  afford  to  give  up  this  work 
of  education  so  entirely  to  others,  that 
both  the  teacher  and  the  children  lose  the 
inspiring  influence  of  an  approving  smile 
and  an  encouraging  word  from  them  as 
they  toil  on  in  their  arduous  work  ? 

Next  come  the  specific  duties  which 
parents  have  to  perform  in  these  rela 
tions.  The  degree  of  interest  which  they 
feel  in  the  working  of  their  school  is 
manifest,  — 

1.  In  their  efforts  to  secure  constancy 
and  punctuality  of  attendance.  Every 
intelligent  parent  understands  the  impor 
tance  of  this  suggestion.  Children  who 
do  not  give  their  undivided  time  and 
attention  to  the  school  suffer  an  irrepara 
ble  loss  of  time,  of  ability,  and  of  interest. 
The  days,  half-days  and  hours  of  absence 


228  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

and  tardiness  frequently  amount  to  weeks 
in  terms,  and  months  in  years.  And  this 
is  not  all :  the  loss  of  ability  to  study  suc 
cessfully  results  from  the  loss  of  time. 
Lessons  are  dependent  upon  each  other ; 
and  when  one  is  learned,  and  the  next 
omitted,  the  scholar  has  no  ability  to 
understand  the  third :  he  acquires  super 
ficial  habits  of  study,  becomes  discour 
aged,  and  loses  his  interest  in  his  lessons 
and  in  the  school.  And  still  further : 
the  class  and  the  school  to  which  he 
belongs  suffer  in  consequence  of  his  ab 
sences.  The  teacher's  time  is  taxed  in 
giving  him  extra  instruction ;  and  yet  he 
drags  behind  his  class.  And  thus,  not 
unfrequently,  scholars  of  good  ability 
accomplish  nothing,  and  lose  all  the  ben 
efit  of  the  school,  in  consequence  of  tar 
diness  and  frequent  absences  which  it  is 
the  duty  of  parents  to  prevent.  And, 
beyond  all  these  evil  results,  the  habit  of 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  229 

irregularity  is  formed,  which  follows  the 
child  through  life.  He  who  is  habitually 
tardy  at  school  will  be  tardy  at  church, 
tardy  in  business,  and  unreliable  every 
where. 

And  it  is  equally  objectionable  to  allow 
children  leave  of  absence  before  the  reg 
ular  hour  for  dismission.  Parents  should 
so  arrange  their  business  and  their  meals 
as  to  give  their  children  the  full  control 
of  their  time  during  the  term  of  school ; 
and  then  they  should  insist  upon  constant 
and  punctual  attendance.  A  word  to 
the  wise  is  sufficient  on  this  point. 

2.  The  interest  parents  feel  in  the  suc 
cess  of  their  school  appears  also  in  their 
efforts  to  encourage  fidelity  and  studious- 
ness  in  their  children. 

Parents  should  not  only  give  their  chil 
dren  the  time  while  the  school  is  in 
session,  and  insist  upon  their  con 
stancy  and  punctuality  in  attendance,  but 


230  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

should  also  impress  upon  them  the  im 
portance  of  improving  the  opportunities 
thus  afforded.  Much  may  be  done  to  aid 
in  the  successful  working  of  the  school 
by  earnest  home-counsel.  Point  out  to 
these  children  the  personal  advantages  to 
be  realized  in  the  future  by  those  who 
improve  their  youth  by  self-culture. 
Show  them  that  their  relative  position  in 
society,  their  influence  and  usefulness,  de 
pend  upon  the  manner  in  which  they 
spend  their  fleeting  school-days.  Encour 
age  them  faithfully  to  prepare  every 
lesson  assigned  them,  and  to  cherish  a 
deep  interest  in  every  school-exercise,  as 
a  means  to  the  end  in  view. 

Who  can  fail  to  see,  that,  if  such  an 
interest  should  be  manifested  and  such 
an  influence  exerted  in  every  family  in 
the  district  by  the  parents,  a  power 
would  be  brought  to  bear  upon  the  school 
which  would  be  felt  for  good  in  its  ele- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  231 

vation  and  prosperity  ?  Teachers  would 
by  such  co-operation  be  inspired  with 
new  hope  and  encouragement,  and  would 
renew  their  diligence  and  fidelity  in  the 
noble  work  in  which  they  are  engaged. 
A  want  of  such  encouragement  and  aid 
has  been  a  fruitful  source  of  difficulty  and 
failure  in  the  public  schools  of  our  coun- 
try. 

3.  Parents  who  have  a  suitable  degree 
of  interest  will  seek  frequent  opportu 
nities  to  visit  their  schools. 

Every  parent  in  every  district  in  the 
nation  should  visit  his  children's  school 
at  least  twice  during  every  term. 
These  visits  should  not  be  made  for  the 
purpose  of  interfering  with  the  discipline 
of  the  school,  or  of  assisting  in  conduct 
ing  its  exercises.  It  is  presumed  that  the 
teacher  employed  is  entirely  competent 
to  manage  his  own  affairs.  But  parents 
should  visit  their  schools  to  learn  how 


232  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

they  are  conducted,  and  to  manifest  their 
interest  in  the  education  of  their  children. 
These  occasional  visits  will  do  more  than 
any  thing  else  can  do  to  rouse  and 
encourage  the  teacher,  and  to  inspire  the 
pupils  with  zeal  and  earnestness  in  the 
discharge  of  their  school-duties.  Such 
visits  have  a  decided  influence  over  the 
deportment  of  the  school.  They  tend  to 
cultivate  pride  of  character,  school-pride, 
and  self-respect  in  the  pupils,  and  to 
check  all  tendencies  to  disorder  and 
rebellion.  Few  children  are  so  aban 
doned  and  reckless  as  to  indulge  in 
improper  conduct  in  the  presence  of 
visitors,  or  so  lost  to  self-respect  as  to 
feel  no  interest  in  the  reputation  of  the 
school.  Hence  under  such  restraint 
they  learn  to  cultivate  the  habit  of  good 
order,  and  to  give  respectful  attention. 

Again:  parental  visits  have  an   influ 
ence  to  secure  a  higher  order  of  scholar- 


THE  CHILDREN  AT  SCHOOL.  233 

ship  in  the  school.  They  awaken  a  new 
interest,  and  create  a  new  zeal,  in  the 
work  of  the  schoolroom.  Children  have 
a  laudable  desire  to  appear  well  in  the 
presence  of  critics ;  and  hence  they  will 
labor  to  prepare  their  lessons. 

These  are  some  of  the  obvious  and 
necessary  results  of  a  faithful  discharge 
of  parental  duty  in  school  relations. 

And  it  seems  proper  here  to  inquire 
of  parents,  as  a  practical  question,  how 
far  they  have  performed  these  duties. 

Have  you,  my  friend,  whose  eye  may 
fall  upon  this  printed  page,  always  sus 
tained  the  teacher  of  your  children  in 
maintaining  the  authority  of  the  school  ? 
Have  you  encouraged  that  teacher  by 
your  own  manifest  zeal,  interest,  and  co 
operation  in  the  arduous  and  important 
work  you  have  assigned  him  ?  And,  to 
be  more  specific,  have  you  made  special 

efforts  to  secure  the  constant  and  punc- 
20* 


234  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

tual  attendance  of  your  children  upon 
the  exercises  of  the  school?  Have  you 
encouraged  their  fidelity  and  studious- 
ness  as  pupils  by  earnest  and  constant  ap 
peals  to  their  reason  and  conscience "? 

And,  finally,  do  you  visit  your  school  at 
frequent  intervals,  and  thus  inspire  and 
encourage  your  children  and  their  teacher 
in  the  noble  work  you  have  given  them 
to  do  ?  If  so,  do  it  more  faithfully  here 
after  :  if  not,  from  this  hour  wake  up  to 
a  consciousness  of  your  obligations  in 
this  regard,  and  henceforth  do  your  duty. 


X. 

THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY, 

"CUBING  all  these  years  of  home  and 
school  life,  our  children  must  min 
gle  more  or  less  in  society.  Hence,  in  the 
discipline  of  the  family,  parental  watch 
fulness  and  care  must  have  regard  also 
to  this  source  of  educational  influence 
and  danger. 

Childhood  is  confined,  for  the  most 
part,  to  the  family-circle.  Its  associa 
tions  are  formed  amid  the  endearing  rela 
tions  of  home.  Away  from  the  strife 
and  bustle  of  the  world,  it  breathes  a 
purer  atmosphere,  and  feels  the  more 
exalted  and  refining  influences  of  love 
and  affection. 

235 


236  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

Youth  is  more  exposed.  It  mingles 
in  the  village  and  the  school  with  com 
panions  and  strangers,  and  necessarily 
receives  the  impress  of  their  example. 
The  daily  transactions  of  life,  the  public 
meeting,  the  customs,  manners,  and  laws 
of  society,  the  arts,  the  professions,  —  all 
these,  which  constitute  the  real  life  of 
manhood,  bring  a  powerful  influence  to 
bear  upon  our  children  long  before  they 
reach  maturity. 

And,  that  we  may  understand  how  far 
parental  responsibility  extends  in  this 
direction,  let  us  inquire  to  what  extent 
the  influence  of  society  may  control  the 
education  and  determine  the  destiny  of 
these  children.  This  influence,  as  brought 
to  bear  upon  them  for  good  or  for  evil, 
may  be  regarded  as  threefold;  viz.,  the 
positively  bad,  the  negatively  bad,  and 
the  positively  good. 

The  positively  bad  influence  is 'found 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  237 

in  the  prevalence  in  community  of  false 
views  of  life,  erroneous*  principles,  and  a 
corrupt  state  of  public  taste  and  morals. 
The  influence  of  the  wretched  habits  of 
thought,  feeling,  and  action,  that  is  often 
found  in  community,  is  sufficient  to  coun 
teract,  neutralize,  or  destroy  the  results 
of  the  most  successful  education.  And 
this  controlling  influence  of  society  is  felt 
much  earlier  than  is  generally  supposed. 
Could  the  mother's  love  and  pure  exam 
ple  control  the  child  until  early  manhood, 
he  would  be  comparatively  safe ;  but 
how  often  is  public  example  responsible 
for  impressions  made  upon  the  almost 
infant  spirit !  —  for  a  train  of  influences 
which  contaminate  the  atmosphere  of 
the  nursery  and  the  schoolroom !  How 
often  has  the  true  mother,  acting  in  all 
the  dignity  of  her  exalted  position,  by  a 
calm  and  Christian  spirit  and  a  pure 
Christian  example,  instructed,  refined,  and 


238  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

elevated  her  child,  until,  under  God,  it 
seemed  to  be  allied  to  the  angels  in  its 
nature !  —  and  still  as  often  the  world  has 
come  in  to  mar  her  beautiful  workman 
ship,  and  sometimes  to  destroy  it. 

It  follows,  therefore,  that  either  these 
corrupting  influences  of  society  must  be 
removed,  or  counteracted  and  controlled 
by  the  special  vigilance  and  earnest 
action  of  parents  in  the  training  of  their 
children. 

And  the  negatively  bad  influence  of 
society  produces  much  evil  to  the  cause 
of  education.  The  child  comes  from  the 
bosom  of  the  family,  his  heart  all  glowing 
with  the  kindly  influences  of  home,  and  a 
love  of  the  pure  and  beautiful :  the  pupil 
leaves  the  school,  where  he  has  tasted 
the  sweets  of  learning,  and  felt  the 
inspiring  influence  of  the  earnest  and 
true  teacher's  example.  They  enter  the 
community  where  there  is  felt  but  little 


TUB  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  239 

interest  for  the  child,  or  his  school,  or  his 
education.  Their  warm  affections  meet 
a  cold  and  lifeless  formality.  Their 
thoughts  are  diverted  from  the  themes 
connected  with  their  own  culture  and  ele 
vation  to  the  world  of  fashion,  politics, 
and  speculation.  And  what  must  be  the 
influence  of  such  a  change  upon  the  child 
and  the  pupil  ?  It  cannot  fail  to  paralyze 
or  destroy  every  effort  for  his  improve 
ment,  and  all  the  beneficial  results  of  any 
nominal  system  of  education. 

A  positively  good  educational  influ 
ence  in  society  implies  the  existence  of 
a  high  tone  of  moral  and  religious  senti 
ment,  a  deep  and  abiding  interest  in 
the  education  of  the  children  at  home 
and  in  school,  and  a  corresponding  activ 
ity  both  in  private  and  public.  More 
than  half  a  century  ago,  Edmund  Burke, 
in  speaking  of  the  English  and  French 
nobility,  said  the  French  had  the  advan- 


240  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

tage  of  the  English  in  being  surrounded 
by  a  powerful  out-guard  of  military 
education.  How  powerful  that  out-guard 
was  against  the  attack  of  an  internal  foe, 
the  strange  history  of  that  nation  will 
show. 

How  much  more  wise  and  noble  the 
purpose  of  society  to  protect  the  rising 
generation  by  implanting  around  them 
the  more  powerful  out-guard  of  a 
thorough  Christian  education !  The  edu 
cational  influence  of  society  thus  consti 
tuted  would  be  great  beyond  comparison. 
It  would  not  only  protect  the  tender  in 
terests  of  those  well  educated  in  the 
family,  but  would  gather  in  the  neglected 
and  half-ruined  from  the  "hedges"  and 
"highways,"  and  train  them  also  for  use 
fulness.  Society  should  be  itself  a  school, 
capable  of  imparting  every  lesson  and 
precept  fitted  to  elevate  and  enrich  the 
human  character.  It  should  be  the  guar- 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  241 

dian  of  domestic  and  public  education, 
of  private  and  public  virtue,  and  the  ex 
emplar  of  that  religion  which  purifies  the 
heart  and  elevates  the  affections. 

The  historian  informs  us  that  the  laws 
of  Lycurgus  and  Solon  were  only  the 
public  sentiment  of  the  age  in  which  they 
lived,  and  that  their  names  have  been 
immortalized  for  doing  what  circum 
stances  demanded.  Fortunate  it  would 
be  if  such  a  state  of  public  sentiment 
existed  among  us  as  would  not  only 
create  wholesome  laws,  but  the  necessity 
of  their  execution;  as  would  not  only 
compel  us  to  feel  the  importance  of  edu 
cation  to  our  individual,  social,  and  civil 
welfare,  but  to  act  consistently  with  such 
a  conviction.  The  cause  of  popular  edu 
cation  in  our  country  needs  the  genuine 
protection,  and  true-hearted,  life-inspiring 

sympathy,  of  the  public. 
21 


242  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

SPECIAL  DANGERS. 

The  special  dangers  to  which  our  chil 
dren  are  exposed,  as  they  come  out  of 
the  family  to  mingle  in  society,  may  now 
be  considered. 

And,  first,  I  will  name  corrupt  associa 
tions.  Where  is  the  city,  the  village,  or 
neighborhood,  in  which  may  not  be  found 
the  dissipated,  profane,  and  vile  ?  And 
how  often  do  they  disturb  the  public 
peace  by  boisterous  demonstrations,  con 
sume  the  products  of  industry  by  their 
idleness  and  waste,  sap  the  foundations 
of  virtue,  and  pollute  the  very  atmos 
phere  they  breathe ! 

In  large  cities  these  corrupters  of 
youth  sometimes  organize  in  order  to 
practise  their  iniquity  with  more  success. 
They  follow  gambling,  thieving,  robbery, 
and  murder,  as  a  business,  and  extend 
their  operations  far  and  near  in  every 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  243 

direction.  Their  representatives,  more 
or  less  mature  in  the  art  of  crime,  are 
scattered  over  the  rural  districts.  Every 
where  they  exert  their  pernicious  influ 
ence  over  the  unwary  and  artless  youth 
by  whom  they  are  surrounded ;  and  these, 
too,  become  contaminated. 

In  the  beginning,  it  is  not  so  much  the 
fault  as  the  misfortune  of  these  victims 
of  dissipation  and  crime  that  they  fall 
into  this  evil  way.  In  many  instances, 
the  most  noble  traits  of  character  are  the 
source  of  their  greatest  danger.  They 
are  genial,  generous,  and  confiding,  and 
hence  companionable  and  sympathetic, 
and  ready  to  follow  where  others  may 
lead.  They  do  not  suspect  the  evil  to 
which  they  are  exposed,  nor  the  pitfalls 
which  lie  along  the  path  they  tread ;  and 
hence  the  danger  is  all  the  more  alarm 


ing. 


Corrupt  associations  are  at  first  more 


244  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

commonly  met  in  the  streets,  in  loafers' 
hall,  and  in  the  bar-room,  where  the  idle 
and  vicious  are  accustomed  to  congre 
gate.  Once  initiated,  these  impulsive 
youth  are  led  along  by  a  natural  process, 
and  by  slow  degrees  are  hardened  for 
the  crimes  of  maturer  life.  They  may 
find  their  way  to  the  house  of  correction, 
the  reform-school,  or  the  prison ;  or  they 
may  escape  these  reforming  agencies,  and 
become  desperate  characters. 

It  is  sad  to  remember  that  these  cor 
rupting  influences  are  sometimes  met  by 
children  of  tender  age  in  their  own 
homes.  The  example  of  a  profane,  dissi 
pated,  and  ungodly  life  is  constantly  be 
fore  them.  They  feel  its  power,  and  are 
drawn  by  it  thus  early  into  the  fearful 
current  that  nears  the  whirlpool,  and 
bears  its  unsuspecting  victims  towards 
the  threatened  ruin.  The  corrupt  society 
of  the  school  and  neighborhood  increases 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  245 

the  peril  in  such  cases,  and  makes  more 
sure  the  destruction  that  awaits  these 
unfortunate  children.  If  the  home-influ 
ences  have  been  good,  the  perils  which 
beset  the  path  of  inexperienced  youth 
as  they  come  out  to  mingle  in  society  is 
still  fearful 

Another  source  of  special  danger  to 
the  young  as  they  come  in  contact  with 
the  world  is  a  corrupt  literature. 

As  soon  as  our  children  learn  to  read, 
they  are  exposed  to  the  corrupting  influ 
ence  of  the  vile  trash  bearing  the  name 
of  literature  with  which  our  country  is 
flooded.  It  is  found  in  the  form  of 
obscene  books,  periodicals,  and  papers, 
which,  though  strictly  prohibited  by  law 
from  circulating  through  the  mail,  find  a 
ready  market  and  an  extensive  sale.  It  is 
found  in  the  illustrated  u Police  Record" 
and  other  sensational  works,  which  tend 

to   excite   the   vicious  propensities,   and 
21* 


246  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

lead  to  crime.  It  is  found  in  the  story 
telling  monthlies  and  weeklies  which  are 
sold  by  thousands  in  the  streets,  at  the 
railroad-stations,  on  every  train  of  cars, 
on  every  line  of  steamboats,  and  every 
where  that  the  vender  can  find  a  pur 
chaser.  The  larger  proportion  of  the 
exciting  stories  of  the  present  day  are 
strongly  impregnated  with  moral  poison, 
and  are  fearfully  productive  of  evil  to 
the  young. 

The  several  classes  of  literature  to 
which  I  have  alluded  must  be  regarded 
as  of  a  decidedly  immoral  tendency.  Our 
children  who  come  in  contact  with  it 
cannot  shun  pollution. 

And  the  whole  class  of  light,  cheap 
literature,  as  it  is  written,  and  read  by 
the  multitude,  is  destructive  of  the  best 
interests  of  our  children. 

Some  works  of  fiction  are  approved, 
and  may  be  read  with  interest  and  profit ; 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  247 

but  promiscuous  novel  -  reading,  even 
where  there  is  no  immoral  tendency, 
serves  to  weaken  the  intellect,  pervert 
the  taste,  and  destroy  the  power  of  close 
application  which  is  indispensable  to 
thorough  mental  discipline  and  sound 
scholarship. 

"  Life  is  real ;  life  is  earnest ; "  and  prep 
aration  for  its  stern  duties  can  never  be 
made  by  those  who  waste  their  time  in 
idle  dreaming  over  the  senseless  novel  of 
the  hour. 

And  the  young  are  also  exposed  to 
the  prevalence  in  community  of  perverted 
views  of  life,  and  false  views  of  religious 
truth. 

And  what  are  the  chief  aims  of  men 
and  women  in  the  world,  as  viewed  from 
the  standpoint  of  pure  and  artless  child 
hood  ?  Many,  it  is  believed,  are  actuated 
by  exalted  motives  to  the  attainment  of 
noble  ends.  Such  examples  stand  out  in 


248  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

bold  relief  to  adorn  the  pages  of  the 
world's  history,  and  reflect  honor  upon 
the  race.  But  how  many  are  seen  in  the 
eager  pursuit  of  wealth  as  the  grand 
object  of  life !  —  not  as  a  means  of  useful 
ness,  but  to  hoard  or  squander  for  their 
own  gratification.  And  such  men  are 
sometimes  unscrupulous  as  to  the  means 
by  which  they  aim  to  gain  their  object. 
Few  indeed  reach  by  such  means  the 
fancied  prize,  or  realize  the  desired  satis 
faction  ;  and  yet  they  afford  an  example 
of  false  views  of  life.  Others  seek 
position  and  power;  and  how  often  do 
they  sacrifice  their  peace,  their  manliness, 
their  all,  for  the  bubble  fame ! 

Still  others  bow  down  and  worship  at 
the  shrine  of  fashion  and  folly.  How 
numerous,  how  devout,  and  how  servile, 
this  class  of  worshippers!  But  is  the 
grand  aim  of  life  either  the  pursuit  of 
wealth,  power,  or  pleasure?  chirely 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  249 

there  must  be  a  higher  and  nobler  pur 
pose  to  be  attained.  But  how  are  our 
children  to  view  the  subject,  if  taught 
only  by  the  example  of  the  society  in 
which  they  mingle?  Will  they  not  be 
likely  to  adopt  the  same  views  of  life, 
and  to  seek  the  same  selfish  end  ?  What 
shall  hinder  ? 

And  peril  from  false  views  of  religious 
truth  is  equally  alarming.  The  chilling 
influence  of  infidelity  on  the  one  hand, 
and  the  withering  power  of  fanaticism 
on  the  other,  will  be  felt  upon  them  as 
soon  as  they  leave  the  protection  of  the 
Christian  home  and  school,  and  even 
while  under  parental  guardianship. 
They  cannot  escape  these  influences  ;  and 
the  earnest  inquiry  of  every  parent 
should  be,  how  his  children  may  be 
protected  from  the  evils  of  society  here 
contemplated. 


250  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL 

THE  PEACTICAL  QUESTION 

returns  to  us,  How  shall  parents  protect 
their  children  from  the  public  perils 
which  surround  them  ? 

In  answering  this  inquiry,  I  may  first 
suggest,  in  general,  We  must  rely  mainly 
upon  the  pleasant  home  and  faithful  home- 
training.  To  save  our  children  from  the 
corrupting  influences  of  bad  associates, 
they  must  be  separated  from  them,  as 
much  as  possible.  To  this  end,  let  home 
be  made  pleasant  and  attractive.  Throw 
around  it  every  charm,  and  open  within 
it  the  sources  of  every  rational  enjoy 
ment. 

Children  must  be  amused ;  and,  if  they 
do  not  find  such  amusements  at  home  as 
their  natures  crave,  they  will  seek  them 
abroad  amid  corrupting  public  influences. 

There  are  sports  and  games  which  are 
harmless  in  the  family- circle,  that  would 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  251 

lead  to  dissipation  and  crime  if  indulged 
in  the  little  club-houses  and  saloons  where 
the  reckless  and  profane  are  accustomed 
to  congregate;  and  the  practical  ques 
tion  for  parents  to  settle  is,  whether  they 
will  provide  these  means  of  home-enjoy 
ment  for  their  children,  or  leave  them  to 
spend  their  long  evenings  and  "  rainy 
days "  away  from  home-protection,  and 
with  companions  of  doubtful  character. 
No  sensible  parent,  it  seems  to  me,  can 
long  hesitate  on  a  question  so  plain.  It 
is  idle  to  talk  of  holding  and  restraining 
these  children  by  the  force  of  authority 
alone  in  such  matters.  It  is  wise  to 
interest  them  at  home,  and  thus  protect 
them  from  the  contagion  of  immoral 
associations. 

To  the  same  end,  parents  should  en 
courage  and  patronize  such  public  enter 
tainments  as  are  harmless  and  profitable, 
that  their  children  may  be  occupied,  and 


252  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

protected  from  the  exciting  and  dissipat 
ing  influences  of  such  exhibitions  as  are 
given  by  u  Jim  Crow  and  Company  "  and 
kindred  troupes  through  the  length  and 
breadth  of  our  land.  They  pervert  the 
public  taste  and  poison  the  morals  of 
every  community,  and  cannot  fail  to  reach 
our  youth  whose  time  and  attention  are 
not  better  occupied. 

Social  neighborhood-gatherings  for  the 
young  and  the  old,  with  their  sports  and 
games;  the  lyceum,  with  its  debating- 
club  and  public  literary  and  scientific 
lectures,  —  are  among  the  best  substitutes 
for  the  demoralizing  attractions  of  the 
outside  world. 

And  how  shall  our  children  be  pro 
tected  from  the  fearful  influence  of  a 
corrupt  literature  ?  It  is  of  the  first 
importance  to  cultivate  in  them  a  taste 
for  the  solid  branches  and  hard  study. 
In  this  way  the  ground  will  be  pre-occu- 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  253 

pied.  The  student  whose  time  is  ear 
nestly  devoted  to  the  study  of  language, 
mathematics,  and  the  sciences,  will  also 
be  interested  in  history  and  the  standard 
works  of  English  literature.  He  will 
have  no  taste  for  the  dissipating  and  cor 
rupting  novel  which  is  thrown  in  his 
way.  It  is  the  idle  brain  that  craves  the 
excitement  of  fiction;  it  is  the  unoccu 
pied  and  undisciplined  mind  that  mur 
ders  time  in  poring  over  senseless 
stories.  If  the  taste  is  not  perverted, 
the  time  of  our  children  will  be  fully 
employed  in  profitable  study  and  reading. 
Correct  habits  of  thought  and  action  will 
grow  with  their  growth,  and  strengthen 
with  their  strength,  until  they  are  forti 
fied  against  the  influences  of  a  perverted 
literature. 

For  the  same  purpose,  parents  should 
organize  to  establish  town  and  village 
libraries,  which  should  be  selected  with 


22 


254  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

the  greatest  care,  for  the  free  use  of 
every  family.  These  should  contain 
books  of  reference,  history,  biography, 
science,  and  literature ;  books  of  criti 
cism,  travels,  and  reviews.  From  them 
should  be  excluded  all  merely  sensational 
and  immoral  works  of  fiction.  Such 
libraries  are  useful,  not  only  to  occupy 
the  time  that  would  otherwise  be  worse 
than  wasted  by  many,  but  they  furnish 
substantial  aids  to  self-culture  and  im 
provement. 

Great  care  must  also  be  exercised  in 
selecting  magazine  and  newspaper  read 
ing.  Among  these  the  serpent  is  more 
often  coiled,  and  through  them  his  poison 
is  diffused.  Parents  should  scrupulously 
exclude  from  their  homes  and  their  pub 
lic  reading-rooms  all  this  spurious  and 
corrupting  literature,  whether  found  in 
the  monthly,  weekly,  or  daily. 

Their   children    will    then    avoid   the 


THE  CHILDREN  IN  SOCIETY.  255 

temptation  and  the  danger,  and  will  be 
left  to  feed  upon  more  healthy  diet,  and 
to  breathe  a  purer  atmosphere. 

With  these  precautions  and  safeguards 
thrown  about  them,  they  will  be  com 
paratively  safe.  But  the  great  impor 
tance  of  moral  and  religious  culture,  to 
prepare  them  to  escape  the  dangerous 
influences  of  society,  cannot  be  over 
estimated. 

The  chief  point  to  be  gained  in  the 
discipline  of  the  family  is  the  formation  of 
character.  But  character  must  be  built 
upon  principle ;  and  principle  must  draw 
its  vitalizing  power  from  the  pure  mo 
rality  of  the  gospel.  External  circum 
stances  are  important;  but  internal  mo 
tives  control  the  will,  and  regulate  the 
life.  Hence  our  children,  to  be  safe  in 
the  midst  of  public  perils,  must  be  "pure 
in  heart,1'  and  fully  established  in  the 
habits  of  right  thought  and  action. 


256  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

Human  life  is  a  battle-field,  in  which 
every  youth  finds  himself  opposed  by 
hostile  enemies  who  seek  his  destruction. 
Without  strength  or  experience,  he  is 
unequal  to  the  contest.  He  must  first 
be  guarded  and  sustained  by  the  vigil 
ance,  wisdom,  and  strength  of  those 
whom  God  has  placed  over  him.  Pa 
rental  discipline  must  create  and  devel 
op  self-reliance,  and  direct  self-culture. 
Surrounded  by  every  means  of  protec 
tion,  he  must  be  taught  to  fight  his  own 
battles,  and  gain  his  own  victories,  even 
to  the  attainment  of  a  noble  character  and 
a  pure  life. 

So  may  our  children  withstand  the 
corrupting  and  insnaring  influences  of 
society  if  they  are  armed  with  "  the 
breastplate  of  righteousness,"  "the  shield 
of  faith,"  u  the  helmet  of  salvation,"  and 
"  the  sword  of  the  Spirit,  which  is  the 
word  of  God." 


XL 

MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS, 

T~  TAKE  it  for  granted  that  parents 
-*r  who  read  these  pages  feel  the  great 
est  interest  in  the  results  of  family  disci 
pline,  as  applied  to  their  own  children, 
to  say  the  least.  Indeed,  who  can  con 
template  these  results  without  the  deep 
est  solicitude?  And  if  this  feeling  is 
cherished  from  the  beginning,  and  con 
stantly  during  the  whole  process  of 
training  until  the  period  of  maturity  is 
reached,  it  will  tend  greatly  to  secure 
the  end  in  view. 

I  have  pointed  out  the  danger  of  mis 
management,  and  the  true  system  of 
government  in  the  family.  I  have  at- 

22*  257 


258  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

tempted  to  make  clear  the  duties  of 
parents  in  relation  to  their  schools,  the 
system  to  be  adopted,  the  outfit  to  be 
made,  the  laws  to  be  enacted  and  en 
forced,  the  necessary  qualifications  of 
teachers,  and  the  sympathy  and  co-ope 
ration  which  they  have  a  right  to  expect 
and  claim  from  their  employers  in  their 
difficult  and  important  work. 

But  I  have  not  spoken  particularly  of 
the  erroneous  views  so  prevalent  in 
every  community  as  to  the  nature  and 
object  of  a  thorough,  practical  educa 
tion.  I  may,  therefore,  here  suggest, 
with  a  view  to  correct,  some  of  these 
false  theories. 

By  many,  education  is  regarded  as 
valuable  only  so  far  as  it  imparts  certain 
mechanical  accomplishments.  If  a  child 
can  read  and  write  and  cipher,  so  as  to 
be  able  to  transact  the  ordinary  business 
of  life,  some  parents  think  that  the  end 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          259 

of  the  school  is  attained.  Others  would 
add  certain  higher  scholastic  attainments, 
such  as  drawing,  painting,  music,  and  a 
smattering  of  two  or  three  modern  lan 
guages,  that  their  children  may  be  liber 
ally  educated.  Such  branches  as  these 
they  suppose  to  be  all  that  are  necessary 
for  a  practical  and  finished  education. 
They  seem  to  forget  that  the  child  has 
powers  and  sentiments,  which,  if  unculti 
vated  in  early  life,  will  be  stifled  or  per 
verted  so  as  to  become  useless  or  mis 
chievous  in  riper  years ;  that  his  moral 
and  intellectual  character  must  be  formed, 
and  fixed  habits  of  thought  and  action 
established.  Whatever  the  man  should 
be,  or  should  do,  must  result  from  the 
training  of  the  boy. 

These  mechanical  accomplishments  are 
proper  and  desirable  in  their  place  and 
time,  but  do  not  constitute  a  practical 
education. 


260  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

Another  prevailing  error,  nearly  re 
lated  to  the  one  just  noticed,  makes  edu 
cation  to  consist  in  acquiring  knowl 
edge. 

It  is  true  that  knowledge,  as  attained 
in  the  process  of  education,  is  a  discipli 
nary  agency,  and  is  indispensable  to  the 
end  in  view.  But  it  must  not  be  mis 
taken  for  education  itself.  That  consists 
in  the  development  of  power,  and  not 
in  the  attainment  of  knowledge.  The 
popular  error  which  I  here  expose  as 
sumes  that  no  study  is  practical  which 
cannot  at  once  be  used.  Hence,  when 
a  solid  course  of  disciplinary  studies  is 
recommended,  the  multitude  cry  out 
with  Falstaff  of  honor, — 

"  Can  honor  set  to  a  leg  ?    No :  ...  therefore  I'll 
none  of  it." 

With  this  false  notion,  the  study  of  the 
higher  mathematics  and  languages  is  of 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          261 

no  consequence  to  those  who  are  to  be 
engaged  in  the  common  avocations  of 
life.  They  need  only  a  little  knoivledge 
of  arithmetic,  grammar,  and  history,  and 
perhaps,  in  some  instances,  a  few  facts  in 
natural  science. 

The  same  delusion  has  flooded  our 
country  with  professional  schools  (so 
called)  for  mere  boys,  who  have  had  no 
time  nor  opportunity  for  the  culture  ne 
cessary  to  fit  them  for  a  course  of  public 
instruction.  Hence  they  are  rushed 
through  to  graduation  in  the  shortest 
possible  course.  The  beardless  boy,  who 
has  attended  one  of  our  commercial  col 
leges  for  four  short  months,  comes  home 
with  his  diploma,  and  is  supposed  by  his 
deluded  father  to  have  become  a  full- 
grown  man.  He  has  gained  some  knowl 
edge,  it  is  claimed,  of  practical  business, 
and  hence  is  educated.  A.nd  why  do  the 
learned  professions  turn  out  so  many 


262  THE  PARENTS1   MANUAL. 

quacks  and  pettifoggers,  if  not  from  the 
mistaken  notion  that  education  is  the  at 
tainment  of  knowledge  merely,  and  is 
designed  to  fit  the  person  for  some  special 
business  or  profession  ? 

Under  the  influence  of  this  same  false 
system,  u  Science  even  has  turned  quack 
to  suit  the  impatience  and  impertinence 
of  a  money-loving  and  labor-saving  age ; 
and,  extracting  the  quintessence  of  all 
subjects,  she  has  put  up  morals,  physics, 
politics,  literature,  yea,  all  things,  in  con 
venient  and  portable  forms,  and  labelled 
with  suitable  directions ;  so  that  the  mere 
child,  by  swallowing  the  diluted  and  fil 
tered  condensation,  shall,  in  an  incredibly 
short  time,  know  more  than  his  grand 
mother." 

And,  from  this  same  soil  of  perverted 
public  opinion,  there  has  sprung  up  a 
new  crop  of  school-books  and  school-sys 
tems  adapted  to  this  practical  age.  The 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          263 

old  subjects  are  made  new  and  attractive ; 
difficult  principles  are  simplified;  hard 
examples  are  solved ;  and  the  highway  to 
learning,  which  used  to  be  up  the  "hill 
of  Science,"  is  now  not  only  a  level  road, 
but  the  journey  may  be  taken  at  our  lei 
sure  in  saloon-cars.  Indeed,  under  this 
new  system,  it  is  much  easier  to  be  edu 
cated  than  to  live  in  ignorance. 

This  happy  era  in  the  book-world  is 
graphically  described  by  one  writer  in 
the  following  language :  "The  same  book- 
stuff  is  hashed  and  cooked  in  a  dozen 
different  ways :  pictures  now  at  the  top 
of  the  page,  and  questions  at  the  bottom ; 
then  pictures  and  questions  reversed; 
then  pictures  in  the  middle,  surrounded 
by  a  frame  of  crabbed-looking  questions 
in  small  type.  Wonderful  variety!  It 
furnishes  big  and  little  potatoes  to-day, 
and  little  and  big  potatoes  to-morrow." 

The  end  of  education  is  the  power  or 


264  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

art  of  thinking.  This  power  is  acquired, 
but  never  inborn.  It  is  always  the  price 
of  long-continued  and  patient  study. 
Talents,  though  "angel  bright,"  and 
even  genius,  need  culture,  to  be  edu 
cated,  as  really  as  the  most  ordinary 
intellects.  The  mere  absorption  of  knowl 
edge,  as  the  sponge  absorbs  water,  gives 
no  discipline  ;  and  hence  the  acquiring 
of  knowledge  is  not  the  object  to  be 
gained,  but  the  development  of  mental 
power. 

The  educated  man  has  gained  the 
ability  to  control  the  exercises  of  his  own 
mind,  to  think  upon  a  given  subject 
earnestly  and  logically,  and  to  reason 
and  judge  accurately  and  correctly.  The 
uneducated  man  has  no  such  ability : 
his  thoughts  are  isolated  and  confused, 
and  his  knowledge  comparatively  useless. 

How,  then,  shall  the  child  be  educated? 
There  is  but  one  method.  His  powers 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          265 

of  body,  mind,  and  soul,  are  to  be  culti 
vated  and  moulded  into  harmonious  man 
hood  through  exercise.  The  growth  and 
health  of  the  body  depend  upon  this 
law.  The  blacksmith's  right  arm  is  made 
strong  and  vigorous  by  constant  pounding : 
the  skilful  gymnast  and  the  veteran  sol 
dier  have  developed  and  strengthened 
their  muscular  systems  by  gymnastic  and 
military  drill :  the  musician  learns  to  dis 
course  sweet  music  upon  the  piano  or 
organ,  or  with  the  voice,  only  by  long  and 
patient  practice.  These  arts  could  never 
be  acquired  by  reading  books  or  hearing 
lectures.  Mere  knowledge  will  avail 
nothing  in  the  education  of  the  body. 

And  the  same  law  applies  to  mental 
and  moral  as  well  as  physical  culture. 
The  child  acquires  the  power  to  think  by 
thinking,  and  the  power  of  expressing 
his  thoughts  by  reciting.  Every  mental 
faculty  is  developed,  and  all  practical 

23 


266  THE  PARENTS'   MANUAL. 

ability  is  gained,  by  these  two  processes. 
If  the  mind  is  educated,  study  and  reci 
tation  must  be  continued  through  many 
long  years. 

The  mushroom  comes  to  maturity  in  a 
single  day  •  but  the  stately  tree,  whose 
deep  roots,  solid  trunk,  and  vigorous 
limbs,  brave  the  storm  and  the  tempest, 
is  the  growth  of  a  century.  We  want  no 
mushroom  growths  in  our  families  or 
schools,  or  in  society ;  and  hence  I  can 
not  tolerate  that  false  and  ruinous  system 
which  claims  that  knowledge,  and  not  dis 
cipline,  is  the  end  of  teaching.  I  cannot 
advise  parents  to  patronize  such  schools 
as  claim  the  ability  to  educate  their  chil 
dren  by  a  new  process  in  a  few  short 
months.  All  analogy,  all  reason,  and  all 
experience,  point  us  to  the  slow  growth 
of  Nature's  choicest  plants  as  illustrating 
the  true  theory  of  mental  development 
and  the  true  system  of  education. 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          267 

It  matters  little  under  what  circum 
stances,  but  in  some  way  the  mind  must 
be  tasked  and  trained  by  patient  toil  and 
self-denial  for  many  years  to  be  edu 
cated. 

Nor  is  knowledge  the  end  of  moral 
culture.  The  practice  of  virtue  alone 
moulds  and  matures  the  good  man's 
character.  A  knowledge  of  the  divine 
law  is  essential  as  a  guide  to  duty ;  but 
active  obedience  alone  can  form  the  habit 
of  well-doing,  and  elevate  the  man  to  the 
condition  of  the  saint. 

The  popular  prejudice  against  this  view 
of  education  is  based  upon  the  error, 
that  no  branches  of  study  are  practical 
which  are  not  brought  into  immediate 
use.  That  this  is  an  error  will  appear  to 
all  who  carefully  examine  the  subject. 
For  instance,  it  is  not  claimed  that  the 
gymnast  will  need  his  dumb-bells,  rings, 
and  wands,  in  the  duties  of  active  life; 


268  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

but  he  will  need  and  use  the  strength 
and  vigor  which  these  athletic  exercises 
impart  at  all  times  and  everywhere.  The 
student  of  books  may  never  find  in  his 
business  or  profession  any  direct  use 
for  the  higher  mathematics  and  languages 
which  were  required  of  him  in  his  course 
of  studies  ;  but  he  will  find  constant  use 
for  the  well-trained  mental  powers  and 
faculties  which  the  study  of  these  sub 
jects  has  cultivated. 

The  study  of  history  and  literature 
may  not  materially  aid  the  laborer  in  his 
struggles  to  gain  a  living  for  himself  and 
family  ;  but  a  knowledge  of  these  branch 
es  will  impart  that  intelligence  and  cul 
ture  which  will  elevate  the  man,  and 
prepare  the  citizen  better  to  perform  his 
important  duties.  Every  department  of 
study  is  practical,  so  far  as  it  can  culti 
vate  the  power  of  thought  and  expres 
sion,  and  elevate  the  human  being  to  a 
higher  grade  of  civilization. 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          269 

Still  further :  every  subject  of  thought 
and  study  has  some  practical  bearing 
upon  every  other  subject.  Hence,  the 
more  accurate  the  investigation  and  the 
more  extensive  the  knowledge  upon  col 
lateral  topics,  the  better  fitted  is  any 
man  for  the  practical  use  of  what  he 
must  know  to  succeed  in  any  given  de 
partment.  Common  arithmetic  is  inti 
mately  connected  with  the  higher  branch 
es  of  mathematics  ;  the  sciences  have  no 
well-defined  lines  of  separation  ;  and  the 
languages,  both  living  and  dead,  have 
one  common  bond  of  union. 

A  practical  education,  therefore,  im 
plies  not  only  extensive  culture,  but  ex 
tensive  and  varied  knowledge ;  and  the 
more  extensive  and  thorough,  the  more 
practical  it  will  be. 

There  are  in  the  world  two  classes  of 
men,  —  thinkers  and  doers.  The  thinkers 
are  educated :  the  mere  doers  are  unedu- 

23* 


270  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

cated.  The  one  class  are  men  of  thought ; 
the  other,  men  of  limited  knowledge.  But 
the  educated  are  far  superior  to  the 
uneducated.  Thinkers  are  the  masters 
in  every  department  of  life,  and  have 
been  in  every  age.  Patient  thinkers 
have  made  all  the  discoveries,  wrought 
out  the  inventions,  and  created  the  sci 
ence,  of  the  world.  Indeed,  we  owe  to 
these  men  all  the  practical  advantages 
that  crown  our  highest  civilization. 

The  doers  are  entirely  dependent  upon 
the  thinkers  for  the  knowledge  they  have 
of  their  trade  or  profession.  The  undis 
ciplined  yeomanry  cultivate  the  soil ;  but 
men  of  culture  have  created  and  brought 
within  their  reach  the  science  and  litera 
ture  of  agriculture.  Common  sailors  can 
navigate  the  ship ;  but  the  science  of 
navigation  and  the  invention  of  the  mari 
ner's  compass  are  the  work  of  accurate 
thinkers,  who  have  trained  their  minds 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          271 

by  earnest  study  to  habits  of  thought 
and  investigation. 

The  common  impression  is,  that  men 
who  have  devoted  themselves  exclusively 
to  abstract  study  are  not  practical  men. 
As  mathematicians  or  chemists  or  philoso 
phers,  they  seem  not  to  have  done  much 
for  the  world;  but,  without  their  think 
ing,  there  could  have  been  no  doing. 

Bridget  makes  our  bread ;  but  who 
discovered  and  taught  her  to  apply  the 
chemical  principles  by  which  good  bread 
can  be  made  ? 

The  unlettered  engineer  may  run  the 
steam-car  with  marvellous  skill  and  suc 
cess  :  but  who  invented  the  engine  ?  and 
who  discovered  the  laws  of  steam,  and 
the  application  of  this  motive  power  to 
machinery  ? 

The  common  laborer  may  manufacture 
and  set  up  the  telegraph,  and  stretch  the 
wires  over  hill  and  dale ;  limited  knowl- 


272  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

edge  enables  the  mere  youth  to  work  the 
keys,  and  communicate  thought  with  the 
rapidity  of  lightning  from  town  to  town 
and  city  to  city,  and  even  through  ocean's 
dark  caverns  to  distant  continents :  but 
who  first  discovered  the  chemical  laws 
by  which  this  wonderful  art  is  made  pos 
sible?  and  who  chained  the  lightning 
of  heaven,  to  become  the  fleet  messenger 
and  obedient  servant  of  man  ?  Profound 
thinkers  have  done  all  these  wonderful 
things.  Doers  have  only  employed  the 
knowledge  and  power  which  thinkers 
have  placed  within  their  reach. 

Who,  then,  are  the  practical  men  in 
practical  life,  if  not  such  men  as  Watt, 
Franklin,  Fulton,  Stephenson,  Newton,  and 
Morse  ?  Yet  many  doers  in  every  com 
munity  affect  to  despise  such  thinkers, 
and  to  regard  them  as  of  little  conse 
quence  in  the  world.  But,  as  a  matter  of 
fact,  without  the  results  of  the  study  and 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          273 

toil  of  such  men,  common  men  could  do 
nothing. 

Thinkers,  after  all,  are  recognized,  and 
in  a  measure  appreciated,  even  by  their 
critics.  They  do  them  homage  :  they  go 
to  them  for  light  in  the  hour  of  dark 
ness,  for  guidance  in  prosperity,  and 
for  protection  in  danger.  From  the  very 
nature  of  the  case,  the  thinkers  are  to 
the  doers  as  masters  to  servants ;  and 
must  forever  remain  so,  unless  all  shall 
become  educated. 

If,  then,  it  is  the  province  of  education 
to  impart  the  power  of  thinking,  it  must 
follow  that  all  who  have  not  acquired 
that  power  are  not  educated.  And  just 
here  comes  in  the  practical  suggestion, 
that  parents  should  establish  such  a  sys 
tem  of  instruction,  and  adopt  such  a 
course  of  elementary  training,  in  the 
family  and  in  the  school,  as  will  trans 
form  all  their  children  into  thinkers. 


274  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

This  would,  in  one  generation,  destroy 
the  oligarchy  which  exercises  the  master 
ship  over  the  masses  in  every  commu 
nity;  not  by  crushing  out  the  thinkers 
who  have  elevated  society  to  its  present 
condition  of  civilization,  but  by  educat 
ing  and  elevating  all  to  the  condition  of 
the  few.  If  knowledge  is  power  only  to 
those  who  are  able  to  employ  it,  we  shall 
increase  that  power  tenfold  or  a  hundred 
fold  by  adding  to  it  the  ability  to  think. 

Education,  as  here  defined,  is  not  for 
the  rich,  nor  for  the  poor;  not  for  the 
mechanics,  nor  for  the  farmers;  not  for 
the  clergy,  nor  for  the  laymen :  it  is  for 
all.  All  our  children  should  acquire  the 
art  of  thinking.  Other  attainments  and 
accomplishments  without  this  are  of 
comparatively  little  importance.  But  a 
well-arranged  and  thorough  disciplinary 
course  of  study  will  necessarily  impart 
the  desired  intelligence  and  refinement. 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          275 

The  prevailing  error  in  regard  to  the 
nature  of  education  has  led  many  par 
ents  to  believe  that  its  only  object  is  to 
fit  their  children  directly  for  some  trade, 
art,  office,  or  profession.  But  thorough 
mental  discipline  is  alike  important  for 
all,  and  should  be  secured  without  special 
reference  to  their  future  employment  or 
profession.  When  thus  educated,  they 
will  be  fitted  for  professional  instruction 
under  masters  in  merchandise,  farming, 
engineering,  law,  medicine,  divinity,  elo 
quence,  poetry,  or  painting,  as  the  case 
may  be. 

And  here  we  meet  another  popular 
error;  viz.,  that  our  children  may  be 
moulded  by  education  into  fitness  for  any 
sphere  of  active  life  as  clay  in  the  hands 
of  the  potter  is  moulded  into  any  form. 
With  this  false  view,  the  impression  has 
prevailed  that  all  the  young  men  who 
can  pursue  a  liberal  course  of  study  (and 


276  THE  PARENTS9  MANUAL. 

many  who  have  only  limited  culture) 
must  enter  one  of  the  learned  professions. 
The  deluded  father  is  anxious  that  all  his 
sons  should  follow  in  his  footsteps,  and 
desires  that  each  should  become  what 
he  is,  —  a  mechanic,  farmer,  lawyer,  doc 
tor,  or  clergyman,  as  the  case  may  be. 

And  is  not  this  the  reason  why  we 
have  so  many  unskilful  mechanics,  indif 
ferent  farmers,  and  floating  professional 
men,  who  have  failed  to  sustain  them 
selves  in  the  positions  they  have  under 
taken  to  occupy  ?  All  men  and  women 
are  fitted  by  their  Creator  for  some  sphere 
of  usefulness.  There  is  some  position  in 
which  every  one  could  achieve  success, 
and  secure  honor  to  himself  and  profit  to 
others,  if  he  could  only  find  it.  How, 
then,  shall  our  children  find  their  places 
in  the  world  ?  This  is  the  practical  and 
important  question  to  be  answered. 

First   of  all,  parents  should  see  JLO  it 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          277 

that  their  children  are  thoroughly  edu 
cated.  Every  one  needs  discipline,  what 
ever  sphere  in  life  he  is  to  occupy.  Then 
he  should  be  left  free  to  consult  his  own 
tastes,  preferences,  and  peculiarities ;  and 
should  be  advised  only  in  view  of  his 
manifest  fitness  for  the  position  he  is 
likely  to  select. 

No  parent  can  know  whether  his  son  is 
adapted  to  the  farm,  the  work-shop,  the 
pulpit,  the  forum,  the  sick-room,  or  the 
school-room,  as  well  as  the  son  knows 
himself.  Many  a  failure  in  life  has  re 
sulted  from  parental  advice  and  dictation, 
or  forced  professional  training.  Let  all 
learn  wisdom  from  such  failures;  and, 
while  they  aim  to  give  their  children 
every  possible  opportunity  for  culture 
and  improvement,  let  their  own  taste 
and  better  judgment  mark  out  their  fu 
ture  life-work. 

How  much  more  honorable  and  profit- 

24 


278  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

able  would  be  these  very  mechanical  arts 
which  clothe  and  feed  us,  if  all  doers 
were  also  independent  thinkers,  and  each 
especially  adapted  to  act  the  part  as 
signed  him ! 

Do  we  realize  how  soon  the  generation 
of  children  who  are  now  being  trained 
in  our  families  and  schools  will  be  called 
into  active  life?  These  children  will 
come  up  to  act  the  part  of  citizens,  par 
ents,  officers,  counsellors,  trustees,  school- 
committees,  examiners,  and  perhaps  law 
yers,  commanders  of  armies  and  navies. 
They  will  act  in  a  thousand  ways 
where  the  interests,  character,  and  lives 
of  men  will  depend  solely  upon  their 
power  of  thought,  and  their  adaptation 
to  the  places  they  occupy  in  society. 

Who  can  estimate  the  loss  of  time,  the 
perversion  of  talent,  and  the  waste  of  ma 
terial,  from  the  want  of  ability  to  think 
and  act  with  wisdom  and  promptness  ? 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          279 

How  many  estates  have  been  ruined 
and  characters  blasted,  how  much  good 
influence  has  been  paralyzed,  how  many 
lives  lost,  and  how  many  governments 
overthrown,  simply  from  the  lack  of  men 
tal  culture,  and  from  the  misdirection  of 
mental  power  ! 

The  end  of  teaching  is  to  fit  our  chil 
dren  to  achieve  the  highest  success  in  life. 
No  parent  can  be  indifferent  to  this  re 
sult  ;  and  hence  the  wisest  means  should 
be  employed,  and  the  greatest  care  taken, 
to  secure  it. 

A  thorough  practical  education  implies 
the  cultivation  of  the  habit  of  fixed  at 
tention.  This  is  not  only  a  condition 
of  success,  but  the  result  of  successful 
mental  discipline.  The  habit  of  perse 
verance  in  the  midst  of  trials  and  disap 
pointments,  and  of  patience  to  endure 
the  hardships  of  life,  are  acquired  also  in 
this  rigid  school  of  discipline.  The  taste, 


280  THE  PARENTS'  MANUAL. 

imagination,  memory,  and  judgment  are 
cultivated  in  the  very  process  of  disci 
plinary  training ;  and  the  conscience, 
developed  under  the  influence  of  divine 
truth,  is  made  the  ruling  power  of  the 
mind  and  heart.  With  such  an  education, 
our  children  would  be  thoroughly  fur 
nished  for  their  life-work :  without  it,  we 
can  leave  them  no  inheritance  that  will 
secure  their  future  success  and  useful 
ness. 

One  more  thought  in  this  connection, 
and  I  close  these  chapters  upon  the  train 
ing  of  the  family. 

The  children  whom  the  parents  of  this 
generation  have  intrusted  to  their  care 
and  instruction  stand  at  the  opening  of 
the  most  eventful  day,  and  in  the  midst 
of  the  most  stirring  scenes,  in  the  history 
of  our  world.  Let  the  scenes  of  the 
past  and  the  hopeful  prophecies  of  the 
future  encourage  us  to  prepare  thc>m,  by 


MISCELLANEOUS  SUGGESTIONS.          281 

solid  mental  and  moral  culture,  for  the 
duties  and  responsibilities  of  opening 
manhood  and  womanhood.  With  a  mind 
thus  trained  to  the  defence  and  imbued 
with  the  love  of  truth,  they  will  go  forth 
to  guide  the  storm,  and  gather  up  its 
mingled  elements,  for  the  redemption  of 
man  and  the  glory  of  God. 

24* 


INDEX. 


Abuse  of  gentle  means,  40. 

Activity  of  children  natural  and  necessary,  69. 

Age  to  be  sent  to  school,  140,  142. 

Apparatus,  school,  important,  167,  169. 

Aptness  to  govern  and  teach  possessed  by  some,  wanting 
in  others,  28,  181,  182,  183. 

Art  of  thinking,  the  end  of  education,  264. 

Authority  :  none  doubt  the  propriety  of  enforcing  to 
protect  from  danger,  20;  the  only  basis  of  family 
government,  divinely  established,  44  ;  always  the  con 
trolling  power,  46  ;  mild  and  gentle  in  its  more  effec 
tive  aspects,  47;  must  be  absolute,  65;  must  be  en 
forced,  66  ;  a  natural  gift,  182. 

Babes,  home  school  better  than  public  for,  141. 

Bible  in  schools,  204-208. 

Blackboard,  168. 

Boarding  round,  217,  218,  219. 

Book  of  Nature  to  be  studied  by  children,  121. 

Bribing,  method  of  spoiling  children,  41. 

Cabinet  for  schools,  169. 

Certainty,  more  than  severity,  makes  punishment  ef 
fectual,  51. . 

283 


284  INDEX. 

Children:  love  for  parents,  moulded  by  tlieir  influence, 
13 ;  in  the  garden  and  cultivated  field,  122  ;  in  the 
orchard  and  wood,  123 ;  on  the  farm,  124  ;  with  the 
animals,  125  ;  at  school,  138  ;  in  society,  235. 

Childlike,  the  more,  the  better  qualified  the  parent  to 
govern,  55. 

Character  and  habits,  72. 

China  plate,  illustration,  193. 

Christianity,  great  truths  of,  should  be  taught  diligently 
to  children  :  what  truths,  109  ;  how  impressed,  110; 
how  taught,  112. 

Commendation  as  important  as  punishment,  55  ;  example 
of,  56  ;  the  mother  never  makes  mistakes  in  one  in 
stance,  57. 

Common  sense  in  teachers,  174. 

Compulsory  attendance,  209,  210  ;  laws  of  Germany,  211 ; 
consistent  under  republican  government,  212,  213, 
214. 

Consequence  of  no  government,  29 ;  misgovernment,  30. 

Constancy  of  attendance,  227. 

Corporal  punishment,  06. 

Corrupt  associations,  242,  243,  244  ;  literature,  245. 

Dangers,  special,  242. 

Dictionary,  English  unabridged,  in  every  school,  168. 

Discipline  implies  much  more  than  government,  19. 

Dishonest,  81. 

Disobedience  must  never  be  rewarded,  50. 

Disposition  of  teachers  cheerful  and  hopeful,  175. 

Doing  right  not  natural  to  children,  55. 

Duty,  parental,  to  bring  every  child  under  authority,  21 ; 
begin  early  to  enforce  obedience,  22  ;  secure  prompt 
submission  to  each  separate  command,  23. 


INDEX.  285 

Education :  as  defined,  is  for  all,  274  ;  not  to  fit  for  any 

special  trade  or  profession,  275,  276. 
Efficiency,  parental,  44. 
Emulation,  79. 
Energy  of  character  necessary  in  the  teacher,  184. 

Family  planted  by  God's  own  hand,  10  ;  is  a  school,  15. 
Family  government  both  an  art  and  a  science,  27  ;  only 

one  mode,  Dr.  Edwards,  69. 
Female  teachers,  194. 

Fear  of  punishment  as  a  motive  to  obedience,  39. 
Fickle  method  of  spoiling  children,  31. 
Fidelity  of  pupils  :  parents  should  encourage  it,  229. 
Flattery  of  children  not  recommended,  57. 
Flogging  method  of  spoiling  children,  37. 
Fun  and  frolic  essential  to  childhood,  59. 

Gentle  measures  :  early  and  wisely  employed,  supersede 
physical  force,  65  ;  importance  of,  cannot  be  over-esti 
mated,  68. 

Golden  rules  in  family  discipline,  36,  37. 

Good  manners,  86  ;  importance  of,  87  ;  how  to  be  taught, 
88,  89  ;  illustration,  90. 

Graded  schools,  149  ;  advantages  of,  151,  152,  153,  154, 155, 
156. 

Happy  such  parents  and  such  children,  25. 

Harmless  indulgence,  75. 

Home  of  childhood,  9,  10. 

Home  geography,  127  ;  how  to  teach,  128. 

Home  instruction  made  practical,  131. 

Home  lessons  made  agreeable,  135. 


286  INDEX. 

Home  life  should  be  free  and  active,  136. 

Home  school  necessary,  131. 

Home  school  of  selfishness,  76. 

Home  training  of  vast  importance  to  the  race,  11,  116. 

Holy  Bible  only  source  of  religious  truth,  111. 

Impulsive  method  of  spoiling  children,  33. 

Inconvenience,  privation,  or  pain,  should  attend  every 
act  of  transgression,  50. 

Infancy,  helpless,  must  be  protected  and  instructed,  16  ; 
its  mind  a  clean  canvas  to  be  inscribed  with  charac 
ters  of  good  or  evil,  ]  7. 

Infidelity  an  element  of  decay,  106. 

Influences  of  society  of  three  kinds,  236,  237,  238,  239,  240. 

Indulgence  consistent  with  authority,  48  ;  without  control 
ruinous,  49. 

Industry,  84. 

Insubordination  of  the  age,  27 ;  more  the  fault  of  parents 
than  children,  45. 

Instinctive,  filial  obedience  is  not,  44. 

Integrity,  81. 

Intellectual  culture,  115  ;  at  home  not  so  formal  and  strict 
as  at  school,  135. 

Justice,  right,  and  duty,  the  child  knows  nothing  of  with 
out  instruction,  61. 

Kindness  a  powerful  disciplinary  agency:  should  always 

accompany  reproof,  53 ;  in  looks  and  words  has  magic 

power,  119. 
Knowlege :  of  primary  branches,  187 ;   it  is  not  c  ^ucation, 

260,  261,  262,  263;    neither  physical  nor  mental,  265; 

nor  moral,  267. 


INDEX.  287 

Lessons,  first  practical,  illustrations  of,  119. 

Library,  public,  169. 

Love  of  children  in  teachers,  178;  of  their  work,  180. 

Manners  and  morals,  87. 
Manliness  of  teachers,  192. 

Mechanical  accomplishments  not  education,  258. 
Mind  not  a  receptacle,  but  an  activity,  97. 
Miscellaneous  suggestions,  257. 
Mismanagement,  parental,  27,  72,  73. 
Mixed  schools,  152. 
Money  question,  99. 
Moral  suasion,  when  proper,  40. 

Mother,  the  central  light,  the  honored  queen,  the  mould 
ing  power,  hi  every  family,  9. 
Mushroom  growth,  266. 

Nature,  phenomena  of,  134;  method  of,  142. 
Normal  training  for  teachers,  187. 

Obedience  must  be  taught  the  child:  is  wholly  the  work 

of  education,  45,  46;  must  be  enforced,  67. 
Objects,  not  books,  most  needed  in  childhood,  117;  world 

of,  139. 
Observing  faculty  first  of  all  to  be  disciplined,  116;  how, 

130, 131, 133. 
Opportunity  of  parents  to  begin  the  work  of  education, 

118. 

Parents:  ordained  guardians  and  rulers  of  children,  12,  13; 
for  what  train  them,  14;  are  their  teachers,  15;  should 
not  provoke,  70;  relations  to  school-teachers,  215,  216, 


288  INDEX. 

217;  sometimes  interfere  with,  221;  should  sustain, 
222;  too  often  listen  to  complaints,  223;  specific  duties 
in  relation  to  the  school,  227. 

Paying  children  for  being  good  a  bounty  on  impudence 
and  insubordination,  42. 

Permanency  of  teachers,  198. 

Persuasive  method  of  spoiling  children,  39. 

Political  economy:  how  taught  to  children,  99;  the  better 
way,  102. 

Poverty  sometimes  better  than  wealth  for  a  family  of 
children,  94,  95. 

Promptness  and  firmness  in  correcting  faults,  62. 

Practical  life,  98  ;  question,  133,  250. 

Practical  education,  258-281. 

Profession,  choice  of,  277,  278. 

Public  schools  and  a  free  State,  201. 

Punctuality  of  attendance,  227. 

Punishment,  merited,  must  be  certain  to  follow  every  act 
of  transgression,  50;  should  be  the  natural  conse 
quence  of  crime,  51 ;  should  be  adapted  to  the  offence, 
prompt,  deliberate,  and  thorough,  71. 

Qualifications  of  teachers,  necessary,  170. 

Question,  the  practical,  250,  251,  252,  253,  254,  255,  256. 

lleasons  for  a  command:  when  to  be  given,  47;  when  not 
to  be  given,  48. 

Reason  and  judgment:  not  early  developed,  GO;  unrelia 
ble  in  children,  and  must  be  under  parental  control, 
Gl. 

Recapitulation,  258. 

Recitation-room,  how  to  be  furnished,  161. 


INDEX.  289 

Religious  training,  105;  the  first  duty  of  parents,  107. 
Responsibility,  parental,  12;  great  and  fearful,  cannot  be 
evaded,  18;  does  not  cease  \vitli  childhood,  140. 

Sabbath,  how  to  be  kept  by  children,  113,  114. 

School:  the  expansion  of  the  family,  138;  a  public  necessi 
ty,  139. 

Schoolhouses :  sites,  157;  lighting  and  heating,  162;  appa 
ratus  for,  167. 

Scolding  method  of  spoiling  children,  34. 

Self -culture,  96. 

Self-reliance,  92;  how  taught,  93;  both  the  means  and 
condition  of  success,  97. 

Selfishness,  73,  79,  81. 

"Spare  the  rod,  and  spoil  the  child,"  37. 

Spoiling  children,  common  methods,  31. 

Sympathy:  a  powerful  aid  to  obedience,  53;  to  encourage 
application,  118;  parents  with  teachers,  225. 

System  of  organization,  district,  town,  144,  145,  14(5,  147, 
148,  149,  150. 

Teachers:  in  place  of  parents,  138;  should  be  competent, 

169;  allowed  to  manage  their  own  schools,  220. 
Theories  of  education,  false,  258,  259,  260. 
Thermometer  in  the  schoolroom,  168. 
Tliinkers  and  doers,  269,  270,  271,  272,  273. 
Thirst  for  knowledge  inherent  in  childhood,  117. 
Threatening  method  of  spoiling  children,  37. 
Truth,  truthfulness:  what  is  it  to  the  child?  62,  63. 

Vanity,  77. 

Ventilation  of  schoolhouses,  163,  164,  165,  166. 
25 


290  INDEX. 

Views  of  life,    perverted,  false  views  of  truth,  247,  248, 

249. 

Vigor,  physical,  necessary  for  a  teacher,  172. 
Virtue,  public,  the  great  lesson  of  American  citizenship: 

the  Bible  its  source,  204. 
Visits,  parents  to  their  schools,  231 ;  benefits  of,  232,  233. 

Well-balanced  mind,  185. 
Welfare,  personal,  of  our  children,  108. 
Word-system,  143. 

Woman:  the  ordained  teacher  of  the  race,  195;  importance 
of  her  education,  197. 


14  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 

LOAN  DEPT. 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below, 
or  on  the  date  to  which  renewed.  Renewals  only: 

Tel.  No.  642-3405 

Renewals  may  be  made  4  days  prior  to  date  due. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 


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